Staying in touch with ex's
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- randomname
I want to get better at it.
Do you keep in touch? Or just move on?
- pinkfloyd0
.........
- GeorgesII0
* gets popcorn
- sureshot0
* gets another beer
- dibec0
"Some people think that it's holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it's letting go."
- gramme0
I never go further than Facebook "friends." Avoid commenting on old pictures. Actually, keep commenting on their stuff to a minimum in general.
I'm happily married. No need to dip my toe in the pond again. Because first the toe goes in, and then—
- just the tip mate,
just ..... the ...... tipGeorgesII - It *would* be easier with a helping finger, that's all I'm saying; just thinking of you.mikotondria3
- lol george and miko!! hahaHombre_Lobo
- just the tip mate,
- monospaced0
Stay in touch with ex's mom.
- or sistermonospaced
- My ex's birthday is the day after tomorrow. Haven't spoken to her in 5 years. Should I?monospaced
- did you dump her?goldieboy
- no...it was the other way around, but mostly mutual if that makes any sensemonospaced
- after 5 years... no point really.goldieboy
- I thought after this long we could just talk again like normal acquaintances. We were never enemies.monospaced
- she was a great friend for many years, and I miss thatmonospaced
- you might catch her off guard with a call. How about a txt saying 'would be good to catch-up soon'?goldieboy
- Very dangerous territory.CyBrainX
- only if one isn't over the othergoldieboy
- Definitely over with each other. We also live thousands of miles apart. I might IM her.monospaced
- the birthday call a bad idea... she will totally overthink it... a belated msg is much more relaxed.jurassica
- thanks jurassicamonospaced
- jurassica - gold words from a lady! sounds like the best plan, as you were say close seems a shame not to say hi.Hombre_Lobo
- DRIFTMONKEY0
eh, what's the point?
- goldieboy0
I'm in touch with most ex's and it's cool. Was friends with most of them before hand though
- CyBrainX0
I just notice my soon to be ex-(wife) axed me from her facebook. It's all good as far as I'm concerned. I bet in most cases staying away is the better choice.
- randomname0
thanks fellas
- cannonball19780
Just move on.
- BusterBoy0
Only if it is associated with occassional fellating.
- _salisae_0
There are ex(es) of mine on fb that I wish I could have more banter with. Does it help if I 'friend' their wives?
- Boz0
why the hell would you stay in touch with your ex? The thing ran it's course.. there's a reason why you are not with that person anymore..
The only reason someone would stay in touch with their ex is if they are too much of a pussy to move on and want to keep a little hope that if they are desperately alone they might try to hook up again with that someone and get laid. Let's face it.. That's the real reason anyone stays in touch with their ex. Sorry, I don't buy the whole "oh we were lovers but we are now friends shit".. That's never gonna work.. One person in that later "friendship" is whimp and keeps latching onto the fact that there might still be "hope".
Staying in touch with an ex can only cause you problems in your new relationships as well. And if you are the one who got dumped, you will never get over it.
Just grow balls (or a vagina), and just move on. There are other people out there, you ran your course with that person and for better or worse you guys are done. You should just completely disconnect.
- abettertomorrow0
I think that's a bit harsh. Nothing wrong with staying in touch with people, if you spent years of your life with them I'm assuming you care how they ended up.
- _salisae_0
Ha boz .. You obviously feel rather strongly about this. It's not something I obsess about - it would just be nice to be able to talk to them like the 'still alive people that I know' people that they are.
I only have *feelings* for one of my ex(es) and there's no way we're getting in touch with each other. I'm happily married.
- dopepope0
What Boz wrote there definitely rings true in a lot of ways, as does what you just posted abettertomorrow, it just matters on the sensibilities and maturity of both parties. I'm still friends with a few of my x's, and not so much with others. Sometimes it works out, and sometimes it doesn't.
- Boz0
Nah, nothing harsh about it.
and when 5 years from now, when you are happy with someone else, and that ex contacts you to see "how you are" you tell them to "fuck off" and you respect the fact that you are now with someone else and that there's 0 reasons why you would meet or talk to your ex.
If you are with someone else later as well, it's all about respect too.. how would you feel if your girlfriend went to coffee and hung out with someone they fucked before? It certainly wouldn't make you feel comfortable no matter how much you might trust them.
You don't see ex for several reasons and one should be the respect you have for your new partner.
Again, the reason people break up is because one of the people in a relationship wants to move on.. One wants to latch onto the relationship in 99% of the cases. So no, there's no reason to stay "friends" or whatever with your ex..
There is no reason whatsoever to stay in contact with that person, EXACTLY because of the things you describe. You still care for that person. You shared certain level of intimacy that will always create a bond between 2 people, a certain level of comfort. And it's a dangerous road to take because, no matter how much you feel you can be friends with someone, you will always feel something when yo u see them.
So knowing that, as an adult who has been in relationships, you will sever the ties with that person so you can continue living YOUR OWN life. If the person dumped you, all the more reason for it.
So to conclude:
1. You don't keep in touch with your ex because you have respect for your new partners.
2. You don't keep in touch with your ex because you should be moving on with your life, not dwelling in the "there's a possibility for us to get back together" or "I'm so worried i"ll end up alone and not get any, I better keep the communication going" land.
3. You don't keep in touch your ex because in very few cases any reconnection will not lead to "happily ever after" but another miserable episode for the one who got dumped in that relationship.Cheers.
- and btw, if you are the one who dumped that other person, you will actually be doing them a favor.Boz
- ppl can actually coexist without either fucking them, or not fucking them. It's not always about that.dopepope
- not really.. at the very basic level that's what it comes down to.Boz
- Love the recap_salisae_
- and you must believe that a guy and a girl can be friends :)Boz
- the last recap item should be "in most cases any reconnection.."Boz
- inteliboy0
boz is a mega wake up call. i like it. thanks!
