Neighbor Sex Upstairs
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- megE0
My sister came home once to a letter taped to she and her boyfriend's door that said: To 'Ben' (the name that I think being called each night) and girlfriend (I assume) Please keep it down. Thanks. Sincerely, Your downstairs neighbors
lol she told me and I laughed so hard!
- mg330
I don't know why I choose to keep updating this, but I just walked into my room seconds after the neighbor upstairs must have had one killer orgasm. It was like the mattress was on it's last gasp for life, knees crunching through to the box springs, the only audible human sound was a mix of male guttural gasps, and the lingering, fading high pitch moan of a woman depleted.
- OSFA0
please continue... you describe it better than an erotic novel...
is it hot in here or is it only me?
- ********0
ill take neighbors having sex to what i have...
a group of flaccid, lame, white people with liberal arts degrees who think that are Tibetan Buddhists.
They insist on loudly chanting and "meditating" at the top of their lungs at 7 am and 11pm every god dam day.at first i thought my refrigerator was broken.
- < hahainteliboy
- LOL!********
- lol that damn refrigerator keeps chanting********
- pr20
Once i was with this one chick and she was loud and one night my bro (i share my apt with him and his wife) banged on the door and screamed to be quiet to which the chick screams back: you can join in if you want!
- inv0
Can you record your best "deathscream" - I want to hear it =)
- mynameisdave0
I recently found out that I'm "the loud neighbor" in my complex. When I was walking my gf out in the morning a few days ago, a young neighbor (who I've grabbed a drink with here and there) in the park lot met me with a congratulatory high five, which was probably a bit awkward for my lady friend.
- That is probably the best way I've read to deal with this issue. Such class.luckyorphan
- He decided to give me a high five and then I realized what it was for.mynameisdave
- mynameisdave0
My upstairs neighbor has banged on the floor a few times because of "late night noise." But the chick walks around on her hard wood floor with high heals hours after she gets home from work every day. Seriously, every day. Who wears high heals in their apt for hours after they get home. I think she does it out of spite of not getting laid.
- ********0
- ali0
- sleepyfatso0
Camping on the Isle of Wight, we pitched out tent 10 feet from the cliff edge. Went out for a walk and came back to find some ass had squeezed his tent inbetween ours and the edge of the cliff. Bastard. Anyway, that afternoon, heard them banging away, at a family camp ground with kids and grannies walking around. Way too loud for way too long. Saw the guy in the communal shower area that evening, I said to him. "Hey, it is fine that you pitched your tent next to mine. But nobody wants to hear you and your girlfriend having sex. Tents are just nylon, they don't create much of a sound barrier." Guy turns red, says "yes, right" Wake up next morning and they are gone.
- ********0
I would shoot bottlerockets directly upwards outside of your window. 9 to 10 of those and they'll get the picture.
- vaxorcist0
When I was in college, I lived in a coed dorm, and the alumni fundraising people would try to bring rich old alumni around to see us, as some sort of novelty...... whenever we saw them coming we'd find 2 or 3 or more people of both genders and run into a room, lock the door and jump up and down on the bed or couch and moan orgasmically... quite funny, as people who would NEVER sleep with each other would happily do this joke....
- dirtydesign0
no joke. i can hear a girl in my building getting destroyed 2 floors down. i hear the slapping and screaming. it's hilarious.
- mg330
I'm ordering this today.
http://www.safetycentral.com/saf…
http://ep.yimg.com/ca/I/safetyce…
Should be fun for when the guy's just about to blow his load, and all of a sudden BAM!!!!!!
- mg330
Hahahaha
"These compressed air signal horns are the best we've found, and we've looked! They're 100% non-flammable, emit no CFCs. Ideally suited for marine & wilderness outings, sporting events, & emergency signaling for any reason."
In other words, they're PERFECT for use in a thin walled, thin floored apartment building built in the early 1900's where it's easy enough to hear your upstairs neighbor's conversations if there's no ambient noise blocking it.
- elahon0
Now what you should is call them in mid-fuck and when their machine picks up, blow that new shiny horn right into your phone for the duration of the message time. That'll soften any penis!
- raf0
I used to live in an old building with very acoustic timber floors. I had constant rows with the old dentist below who kept leaving his radio on for the whole night "for security". Then there was this young surgeon upstairs, who was ok, but lived his bachelor years to the fullest.
He screwed quite a lot of girls and the wooden floors transmitted it quite loudly (luckily for me he worked crazy hours at the hospital and I reckon most action took part there). There was one screamer though. It was funny at the beginning, but after a week or two got tiresome. Then... after a very loud weekend it stopped.
When I met him, he said he and his girlfriend had to part their ways because she was going to Africa to work for some charity.
"Do you think she'll be back with you when she comes back?" I asked.
"No, I don't think she will. She's going with Doctors Without Borders"
