Relationship Question
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- iCanHazQBN0
it's a new year. you start reviewing and analyzing your status.
- kgvs720
If there's trust issues, you've got problems, period. Either way to lighten things up. DJ Qualls is hliarious.
- cannonball0
dump her
- Jaline0
flavorful was right, d_rek, I read the entire thing.
It really depends on the person. Some people are fine with hanging out with ex-boyfriends and girlfriends, but other people find it to be creepy. If you can trust your girlfriend and know that she wouldn't do anything with him, it's her business that she continues to see him. If you don't like it and she's doesn't respect your wishes, then you two may want to re-evaluate your relationship. Personally, I, like yourself, find it strange that she lied about it, but if you guys had a discussion and are honest about it now you can continue to let this go and see what happens. Hopefully it doesn't end up somewhere else. That's where trust and personality comes in. Some people are more OK with this, others are not.
- MondoMorphic0
d_rek - thanks for the response and wow, I can definitely relate. Lingering exes are such a pain in the ass and now, they're something I am not going to tolerate. Little good can come from keeping one in your life and chances are that the reason our girlfriends haven't let go yet is because they can't or don't want to.
I hope this doesn't worry you, but my previous girlfriend behaved very much like yours. She had a lingering psycho ex who wouldn't let go and she (and I) allowed him way too much access to her. She eventually got weak and the two of them slept together, which obviously ended what could have been a very good relationship.
- You're the type that doesn't like when someone talks to their ex. Relationships may not work if one minds and the other doesn't.Jaline
- I used to not be the kind that minded...and I can see that some communication is necessary. What I now have a problem with is lunches, dinners, and essentially dates. There's no place for that in my opinion.MondoMorphic
- MondoMorphic0
Jaline - in my opinion, the worst part about d_rek's girlfriend lying is that he probably now sometimes wonders what else she has lied about now the she has shown an inclination to do so. How many other meals had there been? How many other times had she seen this guy? Who knows...
- I know what you mean.Jaline
- You're right, it's too soon for me to not have doubts but it doesn't change the way I feel about her.d_rek
- Unfortunately only time will tell if she continues to be deceptived_rek
- I know what you mean. Our hearts are silly, stubborn things. Shame on her though. It is SO easy to let jealousy and doubt into a relationship. She should have been more careful.MondoMorphic
- MondoMorphic0
You're exactly right. There are differences that will never change and trying to do so is an exercise in futility.
I wonder if some things can change though. I know people are wired differently, but it really shouldn't be difficult to put a relationship first and to not let lying or deception enter in (like d_rek's girl). If someone's taking care of their needs instead of taking care of the needs of the "us," it seems like they could just stop doing it.
- barbtastic0
"I would need to see a LOT of change before I would even entertain such a thing."
the "C" word is ridiculous. what you see is what you get, expecting her to change takes all the guilt off your shoulders when this doesn't work out... and it won't.
- is this the real barbtastic?nilsnihil
- in the fleshbarbtastic
- *shiversmagnificent_ruin
- CALLES0
knock her up and see how independent she really is
- MondoMorphic0
Yeah, like I said before, it would be easier for someone to quit smoking than it would be for them to change some fundamental aspect of their personality. Maybe what's worth seeing is which things are fundamental aspects of our personality and which aren't?
- styleplus0
LEAVE THAT HO
- ukit0
Are you upfront with her about your concerns? And if so, how does she respond
- rson0
can i get her number?
- joeth0
Mondo,
Yours is over. I think you know what you have to do.d_rek,
Yours could be ok. You guys are young and maybe haven't had to go through this kind of thing before. But seriously, the ex has to be out of her life. If it was a once-in-a-while thing, like he knows how to fix her car or something, that might be ok. But he's clearly trying to get her back, and that can't be a part of her life if she wants to be with you. Let her know that your relationship is too important to let him in. She has to stop talking to him or it's over between you two.
- thelukeandrews0
at a VERY quick glance it looks like she's not as into it as you are. also 10 months isn't all that long. Stick it out for a bit longer, if nothing changes and you're still on the fence, maybe go.
then again i've never been on the good side of the fence in my life (for more than a month)
- CallerNo90
did you dump this biatch yet?
- wordsinyourmouth0
100
- where's OSFA?d_rek
- mehwordsinyourmouth
- sorry, I was on the phone with her...OSFA