Joke of the Day
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- monoboy-4
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/U1SiveWVIIo" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
- trooperbill1
im really friendly with 25 letters of the alphabet... i dont know why
- ok_not_ok2
- What do you call a good Mexican joke? Carbon.iCanHazQBN
- ¿Qué?happybananas
- noooooobklyndroobeki
- georgesIII-7
why is the archeologist sad ? ? ?
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because he can't find his mummy :(
- georgesIII0
DNA of Bin Laden has come back with a reading of 24% cocoa, 57% coconut, 18% sugar, and 6% milk.Experts say this is probably due to the bounty on his head.
- in the US "bounty" is a paper towel brandscarabin
- Sorry georges. Take your Euro jokes somewhere else. k? thx.iCanHazQBN
- Elwin743
- Every time I'm feeling down, I just remember this joke and I'm back.iCanHazQBN
- BusterBoy-1
HUSBAND: Honey, I'm having a heart attack. I don't think I'm going to make it.
WIFE: Please...don't leave me.
HUSBAND: I love you. Please...when I'm gone, make sure you'll be happy. I give you my blessing to marry again.
WIFE: Don't say that. You're going to pull through.
HUSBAND: I'll even let you give my golf clubs to your future husband. Will you do that for me?
WIFE: Oh sorry...he's left handed.
- MrT8
Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn’t change colour?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
- detritus0
[Censored by Twitter]
- ShenanigansTV0
Knock Knock
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Whose there?
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Mormons.
- georgesIII3
I opened a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats.
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Prophets are going through the roof.
- georgesIII0
just read it on leddit
Why did Jon Snow stand in line for 6 hours at the Apple Store?
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For the watch
- georgesIII0
An engineer dies and is sent to hell,..
He's hot and miserable, so he decides to take action. The A/C has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Things cool down quickly. The moving walkway motor jammed, so he un-jams it. People can get from place to place more easily. The TV was grainy and unclear, so he fixes the connection to the Satellite dish and now they get hundreds of high def channels.
One day, God decides to look down on Hell to see how his grand design is working out and notices that everyone is happy and enjoying umbrella drinks. He asks the Devil what's up?
The Devil says, "Things are great down here since you sent us an engineer."
"What?" says God. "An engineer? I didn't send you one of those. That must have been a mistake. Send him upstairs immediately."
The Devil responds, "No way. We want to keep our engineer. We like him."
God demands, "If you don't send him to me immediately, I'll sue!"
The Devil laughs. "Where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
- maquito6
It was all fun and laughter until we figured out the stutterer wanted Ham.
- georgesIII-2
bumpin this one too
---A Mexican once told me he had magic powers and would disappear on the count of 3.
"Uno"
"Dos"
Poof! He was gone without a tres.