Joke of the Day
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- chossy0
This nerdy guy goes to prison for stealing money from banks using his hacking skills.
He gets to his cell and there is a massive dude there waiting for him. The dude says we are going to play a game, The nerdy guy says, oh shit, what game?. The big dude says mommies and daddies the nerdy guy says nooo. The bug dude says aye we are what do you want to be?, mommie or daddie?.... The nerdy guy says........ daddie. The big dude says ok then, come over here and suck your mommies cock.
- GeorgesII0
knock knock...
- elahon0
Q: Why can't Jesus eat M&M's?
A: Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.
- redant0
Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart?
A: You are the wind beneath my wings
- bliznutty0
Why wasn't Jesus born in {Insert town name here} ?
Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin!
- lolCoffeemaker
- Why wasn't Jesus born in Bethlehem?Lillebo
- Because it's fiction.Lillebo
- own :pjasonabc
- theyCallMeMista0
I'm sorry but this is hilarious to me...
Q: Where does a King keep him armies?
A: Up his sleevies!
- wrong0
Your mommas so fat, she tried to go on the Atkins diet but couldn't make it through the induction phase because her cravings for sweets and complex carbohydrates proved too powerful to overcome.
- Mal0
Guy walks into a Doctors office with a frog on his head. The Docotr asks 'How can I help you'?
The frog replies 'Can you get this guy off my arse'?- lol - heard that many years ago with a duck. still good.invisiblechamber
- mistermik0
Q) Why did Charles Dickens make his own wine?
A) He had “Grape Expectations”haha all day.
- D_Dot0
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
- chossy0
how many feminists does it take to change a light bulb two one to change the bulb and the other to suck my dong yo!.
- MSTRPLN0
Man some of these are gold, this is really making Friday bearable
- mistermik0
I've just read that men who live in Reykjavik, on average have the biggest penises in the world.
So thats why mums go to Iceland.
- mistermik0
The other day, my girlfriend asked "Will we ever have sex with the other hole?"
I said "Fuck off, you might get pregnant!"
- ha ha eeeewwwwchossy
- so which one was it?Corvo2
- well?...iCanHazQBN
- moth0
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
- moth0
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%..
It's called a Wedding Cake.
- moth0
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
- mistermik0
I bought a sat-nav the other day. What a useless piece of junk. I had it on as I drove around Cotswold Wildlife Park. At one point it said "Now, bear left."
I looked left - It was a monkey having a wank. Looked nothing like a bear.