How to pretend you are working.
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- justpossibly
-Visit the printer and pretend that there should be stuff there for you and shout "Blasted printer!"
-Deliberately break the system at work, so when asked you'll know how to fix it
-Pretend to look for things in your drawerWhat are some of the funniest and elaborate schemes you guys do to pretend you are occupied at work?
- version30
i just work or don't work. freelance sucks like that
- detritus0
why not just work, let your boss know you're done, then go home on time?
Or do what version6 does and set the fire alarms off with a couple of well-aimed incandescent boogers flicked at the detectors.
- Jaline0
Since I only work once a week, I have too much work to do. So no pretending for me.
- 5timuli0
Repeatedly pressing keys like Alt, Shift, Command and Control make it sound like you are working or typing an email. Also, clicking the mouse in unused space like the desktop helps too. I used to do it while staring at my desk when I had a hangover.
- 5timuli0
Saying that, I haven't had a lunch break in three weeks and have been working 9-6 solid.
- Jaline0
People repeatedly come by my desk and ask me if I am:
(1) dead, or
(2) sleepingand then when they find out I am actually just silent, they think I am creepy and note that I am "too quiet".
- rafalski0
I will join the thread tomorrow from work, don't have the time right now
- version30
detritus is on to me!
ruuuuun!
- JackRyan0
Open old projects...thats what I do now. My friend and I would literally crawl through the cubicles to and from lunch from our offices at our first job, we were primarily doing web-maintenance, and would regularly take 3 hour lunches...the only catch was we had to get done with our in-box of revisions for they day, best job I ever had.
- 5timuli0
"Workin hard or hardly workin?"
Fuck off.
- lvl_130
how 'bout you pretend to be working now and answer my streamline question!
bill that under tech support :)
- BonSeff0
ooooh, the ol' blasted printer story.. we love it when you use that.
sincerely,
incompetence
- _eh_0
I have a large comp screen at work so I usually just have something that looks like work open in photoshop, then keep the browser half open on the otherside, making crazy movements with my mouse occasionally gives the impression that I am actually doing something.
If I notice someone coming by my cube I usually get up and go to the washroom, to make it look like I am on the go. Picking up the phone and pretending to make a work related call also works when someone is walking in the direcition of my cube.
- edd-e0
i make grunting noises and curse under my breath at my computer and make the spinning ball or say oh no unexpected quit oh yeh i love that and then i get up and invoice them.
- mg330
I always carry a pocket folder with me in the hall to look like I'm going to a meeting, but in reality it's just a porn magazine and I'm only on my way to the bathroom to sit and veg out for 15-20 minutes.
- mg330
LOL at taking 3 hour lunches. I've never had that luxery at most of my last jobs, especially where I've been for five years now, but it reminded me of when I sacked groceries in high school at a pretty busy grocery store - I was dating a girl and on my 45 minute or hour lunch break a few times I clocked out, went to her house JUST FOR 30 MINUTES, and ended up making out with her for nearly two hours. Fleeting love!
The first time I did that I got back to work and no one noticed... I remember just thinking "how can that be? how did a manager not keep track of my lunch time?"
Started playing with fire and probably pulled that off five more times, always keeping the "I went home and fell asleep" excuse armed and ready.
- mg330
bump
- spendogg0
I just act angry all the time and curse at the computer - moving my lips only not saying a thing - people leave me alone.
the sad thing is, i am actually working - and slowly going crazy.
- Jaline0
No one around here notices either. One time I didn't show up to work for 3 full days and when I came back the administrator told me she tried to call me a few times and came by my office. I just said I was out of the office, maybe on lunch or mailing something, or having a meeting with someone, etc. There are lots of excuses one can use. After that, I decided that I should go back to work, haha
- CALLES0
i dont.. and if they tell me something i answer with a smerk " what are you working on? dont you have something more important to do to see if im working or not?"