How to pretend you are working.
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- _eh_0
I have a large comp screen at work so I usually just have something that looks like work open in photoshop, then keep the browser half open on the otherside, making crazy movements with my mouse occasionally gives the impression that I am actually doing something.
If I notice someone coming by my cube I usually get up and go to the washroom, to make it look like I am on the go. Picking up the phone and pretending to make a work related call also works when someone is walking in the direcition of my cube.
- Jaline0
Ugh, this co-worker of mine keeps heckling me. She wants me to talk to her, "say hi", and "smile".
Then she came by and said, "not even that? Okay, I'm just teasing".
Shut up, lady, I am working.
- CALLES0
she wants you bad JLe
- Jaline0
First of all, I don't talk to people in general. Secondly, everyone around me is like 30 years older.
- edd-e0
i make grunting noises and curse under my breath at my computer and make the spinning ball or say oh no unexpected quit oh yeh i love that and then i get up and invoice them.
- Daro0
i just work or don't work. freelance sucks like that
version6
(Oct 23 07, 17:44)Ditto.
- mg330
I always carry a pocket folder with me in the hall to look like I'm going to a meeting, but in reality it's just a porn magazine and I'm only on my way to the bathroom to sit and veg out for 15-20 minutes.
- mg330
LOL at taking 3 hour lunches. I've never had that luxery at most of my last jobs, especially where I've been for five years now, but it reminded me of when I sacked groceries in high school at a pretty busy grocery store - I was dating a girl and on my 45 minute or hour lunch break a few times I clocked out, went to her house JUST FOR 30 MINUTES, and ended up making out with her for nearly two hours. Fleeting love!
The first time I did that I got back to work and no one noticed... I remember just thinking "how can that be? how did a manager not keep track of my lunch time?"
Started playing with fire and probably pulled that off five more times, always keeping the "I went home and fell asleep" excuse armed and ready.
- _eh_0
Interesting:
http://www.wikihow.com/Look-Busy…
As a side note I have been thinking of taking up smoking, to increase my time away from the desk.
- flavorful0
Usually when I smile at people and they don't smile back ... I think something must be horribly wrong with them.
Because I have the greatest smile in the world, and light up every room, hallway, cube, office I walk into with my charm.
I would probably tease you about not smiling if I worked with you, but in a more flattering way than your current coworker.
I'd be all like, "Seriously, you can't even crack a smile for me? What is your heart made of coal? Look at me when I am talking to you G-d damn it. You see this face? You smile when you see it. I bring joy to the world, and all I ask is for you to respect me as such in kind. For fuck's sake, seeing me is probably the bright spot of your day inside of work and outside so do me the fucking common courtesy of acknowledging the fact. You know what don't smile at me, your teeth are probably horrid. That is the only reason I can think why you are not smiling, because I would probably be horrified. So I thank you for not making me vomit perfously from your wretched smile. However, starting now - you do not look me in the eyes. You have lost that privilege."
But I would say it in a funny way so that you would think I was joking, and hopefully get a chuckle or grin out of whoever I was saying that diatribe to.
But it would be based in truth.
Truth to me and my grossly over sized and unwarranted ego, haha.
- Jaline0
"Disable your screensaver, or set the timeout for a really long time, so that it isn't so obvious that you haven't been at your desk for a while."
lol, I employed this strategy when I was by myself in a corner. It doesn't work out so well when others are around you.
- CALLES0
pour a little water on your tower... works every time
- Jaline0
That reminds me. Someone stole my monitor once and I couldn't do any work for the entire day.
- flavorful0
Haha yea, I can usually get 1-3 days out of my hard drive frying, and needing to wipe everything.
- mg330
bump
- spendogg0
I just act angry all the time and curse at the computer - moving my lips only not saying a thing - people leave me alone.
the sad thing is, i am actually working - and slowly going crazy.
- Jaline0
No one around here notices either. One time I didn't show up to work for 3 full days and when I came back the administrator told me she tried to call me a few times and came by my office. I just said I was out of the office, maybe on lunch or mailing something, or having a meeting with someone, etc. There are lots of excuses one can use. After that, I decided that I should go back to work, haha
- Witt0
I'm actually so effective at work that no one ever catches me on the job.
- CALLES0
i dont.. and if they tell me something i answer with a smerk " what are you working on? dont you have something more important to do to see if im working or not?"
- acescence0
i carry a pen and clipboard wherever i go, and walk swiftly