please dont
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- MrD
talk to me while i am taking a piss in the urinal
if there are 3 urinals, please use the one thats one over. dont stand beside the one next to mine.
just because you finished first, doesnt give you the right to start talking to me while i am still doing my thing.
dont use the middle urinal when there are 3 urinals. i will have to go in to the toilet and that makes me look like either 1. i am homophobic, 2. I have to take a dump 3. I dont like you.
please dont talk to me while i am in the toilet. if i have to go toilet, it means either i have to take a dump, or piss cause some idiot decided to use the middle urinal or i have explosive diarrhea. i dont fancy talking to someone while i am doing all three or one of them.
- Rand0
sorry about that
- MrD0
true story
- lvl_130
everyday occurence.
- flavorful0
So ... you are #1?
- mrdobolina0
being pee-shy sucks, hey dinky?
- MrD0
its an intimate moment
- arthur0
They should just put holes in the middle of the floor and all the guys can stand in a circle and piss at each other...
wait, where was I going with that?
- mrdobolina0
good answer, mrd.
- mg330
That's why I never use urinals. EVER.
- mrdobolina0
//because you are pee-shy or homophobic?
- radar0
you can always go in a stall & sit down & pee - if thats what your into
- DRIFTMONKEY0
I am also PEESHY... here's my rant.
..went to a concert the other night... (MIDLAKE) here's 5 minutes in the bathroom....
So, we get there, (BELLYUP TAVERN) and its a really nice place! I really like the one wall smothered in band posters... Gorgeous! So, I go to the bathroom, mind you... We got there early, so not people there yet... And I walk in... Sonuva! there’s this bathroom attendant who greets me. I had this little panic attack in my head, cuz there’s noone else in the bathroom... I can’t go with this guy watching me. Especially since this place, nice as it seems uses the troph. Yeah, that’s right... A FACKING TROPH! no way in hell Im gonna get one drop of pee out with this guy staring me down. So, I opt to go to one of the stalls... But it didn’t help... You could hear a mothfart in there it was so quiet! So Im just standing there... Trying to force it out to no avail... I can hear him breathing... And I’m so uncomfortable. So I flush the toilet... It’s one of those quick flushes, so the noise doesn’t resonate long enough for me to take advantage of it... Quiet again.. FUCK! Then I start getting pissed thinking about shit in my head... Who the hell is this guy... What planet are we on that people need this kind of assistance in a restroom... Not only that... But what a fucking shitty job... You gotta stand there, and smell other people’s shit all day, pretend what they say is interesting so you can wiggle that $1 tip from them before they leave the bathroom. I can’t imagine the first attendant... What he must have thought...”are you serious, boss? You want me to just stay in here, while people piss and shit... Can’t people just turn on the faucet themselves when they are done? What a thankless job, not only from that standpoint... But it’s also one of those forced tipping situations... Here’s this shmuck who hands me a towel, and I gotta give him money for that... I see the stack of towels, can’t I just reach over and grab one myself?
By the time I realized all this was upsetting me, I had been standing there for a good minute/minute and a half, and not a drop... Then he does something amazing... He turns the water on... Praise the lord, we have white noise... I started peeing immediately... Now, in my head... Im thinking... Wow. He did this for me... He knew I was gunshy, and helped the situation by relieving the tension... Only thing is.. I wouldn’t need that sort of releif if that flapjack wasn’t stationed there in the first place! congratulations.. You have just done the most successful thing a bathroom attendant could do... Camoflouge your presence... Next time.. Lets skip the middle man, and just not show up for work... K?
Sure enough, as I exit, he is there to turn on my faucet, put soap on my hands, and hand me a towel... All things my 6 year old son can perform effortlessly by himself... Now, if I had money on me, of course I would have given in... The guilt at this point is overwhelming... But sorry chief... It’s 2007... I don’t carry cash on me... So, Im contemplating my exit strategy now... This guy thinks he has done a world of service me... Im the only one here, I got the full treatment.. Here comes a tip...
“Thanks buddy, I’ll get you next time”
It’s the best I could think of... The night was early... And typically when drinking... 2 or 3 bathroom visits are expected...
When I got back to the table, I gave my buddy my beer, chewed some gum, and sat there thirsty for the rest of the night...
- Jaline0
These rules make perfect sense.
I know it's not the same thing, but I hate when people get anywhere near me when there is lots of space elsewhere. Like on a bus.
- MrD0
I hate when people get anywhere near me when there is lots of space elsewhere. Like on a bus.
Jaline
(Oct 11 07, 10:13)sorry about that
- Llyod0
I rarely use urinals.
- menos0
yep...im with you MrD!
- grunttt0
if i walk into a restroom and someone is at the urinal, i stand right behind them, bend the knees just a bit, tell them to get up on their toes and start peeing between their legs into the urinal. is that wrong?
- MrD0
i always thought that best place to rob someone is when they are peeing
- Point50
piss shy, never. I'll piss in your lawn at a house party while sippin on a drink and talkin to you and your gf.
shit shy, not really. that's on you if you want to stomach that smell while you try to hold conversation.