Make me laugh...
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- ghandolf0
My girlfriend called me a 'pedophile' last night.
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I told her that was a pretty big word for a 13 yr old.
- flavorful0
skt's yours made me literally laugh out loud at my desk to the point I am glad no one else is in the office, hahah.
- -sputnik-0
A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground.
As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor.
He said 'How bad is it doc? ... I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancée is still a virgin, in every way'.
The doctor told him, 'I'll have to put your Willie in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week.'
He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all together; ...... an impressive work of art.
The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries her, and goes on their honeymoon.
That night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal her beautiful breasts.
She says, “You're the first; no one has EVER touched these.”
He immediately drops his pants and replies, “Look at this.....still in the CRATE!”
- grunttt0
lol sputnik!
- Tara0
----So a guy walks into a doctors with a giant orange head and the dr goes,
"fucking hell, what happened to you?"
to which the man replies,
"well, i was walking on the beach when i tripped over a lamp, naturally i gave it a wee rub just to see what would happen and sure enough a genie popped out and granted me three wishes"
"so, what did you wish for" asks the dr
"well", says the man, "my first wish was for all the money i could ever need, which sure enough i recieved, and for my second wish i asked for someone to love me forever, the genie sorted that out too"
"so what the fuck happened" asks the dr...
"well, this is where i think i went wrong, for my third wish i wished for a giant orange head."
---very funny i'm going to use that one
- Witt0
There was this apple shooting contest and 3 bowmen joined in.
The first one shoots the apple exactly 10 cm above the boy's head and shouts: I'MMM ROBIIIIN HOOOD!
The second one shoots the apple exactly 10 cm above the boy's head and shouts: I'MMM WILLIIIAM TELLL!
The third one shoots the boy in the head, leaving the apple unscathed and shouts: I'MM SOORRY!
- -sputnik-0
lol!
- nessdog0
A man walks into a bar - he sits down and orders a pint. The barman gives him his drink, accompanied by a bowl of peanuts. To his surprise, a voice comes from the peanut bowl. "You look lovely tonight" it said, "You look hot! I really like you"
The man is obviously a little confused, but tries to ignore it. Realizing he has no cigarettes he wanders over to the cigarette machine. After inserting his money, another voice emits from the machine. "You're a nob.. and you stink... and you're fugugly!"
By now, the man is extremely perplexed. He turns to the barman for an explanation. "Ah yes sir," the barman responds, "The peanuts are complimentary, but the cigarette machine is out of order."
- rockdog0
So, a horse walks into a bar, says the bartender: "Hey pal what about the long face?"
--- thats the only joke i need for myself... :-)
- rockdog0
Teffen sich ne null und ne acht. sagt die null: "schöner gürtel!"
- Crouwel0
Teffen sich ne null und ne acht. sagt die null: "schöner gürtel!"
rockdog
(Jul 16 07, 09:38)nice belt, huh?
HAHAHAHAHAHA
- Witt0
Christ said: "He who never erred among you, let him throw a stone at her first".
Then a man throws a stone at Magdalen and hits her full.
Christ said: "You have never erred, brother?"
The man says: "Not at this distance!"
- bauts1060
I thought this was hilarious:
- -sputnik-0
how cool were you in high school?
- Witt0
- Jaline0
Eh, I don't know if I want to hang out with you anymore, Witt. I only go for the weird geeks.
- vanilla_cam0
here you go:
http://www.youku.com/v_show/id_X…
- morilla0
http://www.justinschilf.com/baby…
ok, I'm that guy posting vids of his baby... But it puts a smile on my face.