question for dads
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- sherman0
haha
- ItTango0
Finances:
If you're both self employed, as my wife and I are, then this is a big deal. I will assume you've carved out and are fiercely committed to a budget. Do not go off track here. Open some sort of mutual fund for college, now. This will save your life.
Relationship:
The dynamics are different and that may take a little getting used to... ok, a lot. if you are the "on the go" types, forget it, at least for a while. Dads may get cabin fever 'cause there isn't much for us to do except wait on mommy and baby. That said, as soon as baby is ready, take him/her everywhere you go. They'll get used to moving about much quicker and you won't feel like such shut ins. Oh, and practice your quickies. It's the only sex you'll have... together anyway.
Overall:
I love my Daddyhood.
- horton0
i think it's pretty much a given that all men will for a while question "KIDS? WTF AM I DOING!!!" and be unsure of themselves in that role, but once it all happens and you get your dad on, it all becomes quite natural and of course a ton of fun.
i think the greatest thing about being a dad is that it gives you an excuse to be a kid again, get all goofy and immature, something that all men do very well.
- -sputnik-0
thanks itTango! we're not really on-the-go types and we've been planning the work arrangement for ages. i'm staying home and will freelance as much as i can, when i can, but it will only be supplemental. he has a great job and we bought our house and have been living as if we only have his income for a while.
- -sputnik-0
thanks horton :)
and JSK, i had a similar epiphany when my dog had projectile sprinkler-style liquid poo one day, and hurt his tail and bled everywhere the next. ha!
- ItTango0
i think the greatest thing about being a dad is that it gives you an excuse to be a kid again, get all goofy and immature, something that all men do very well.
horton
(Mar 22 07, 08:57)Yes! I bought HotWheels, the Looney Tunes Collection on DVD, a bunch of Seuss, and then I bought something for my daughter!
- Rand0
I felt a great deal of anxiety about money (at the time we were literally just about broke) and that our baby be healthy
it all turned out great
- Rand0
congratulations, sput
- sherman0
I long for the days of Tom and Jerry or the original Looney Tunes.
* turns on Dora and pouts
- horton0
and of course there's the heinz factor, big bonus:
- -sputnik-0
thx rand...i think those are the main sources of anxiety.
was there anything your wife could've done to alleviate those?
- blueless0
yes.
and all of that anxiety vanishes the moment you hold your child for the first time. I wondered how was it possible to love someone so much the instant you meet.
- OSFA0
haha, very true. I have a 3 year old, and he is the BEST thing that has ever happened to me. When my wife was pregnant, yes i worried, but once you see him/her for the first time, your life changes and the sun seems brighter, the grass greener and all the bs problems you had until that moment simply dissapear. It's incredible how something so tiny can give you sooo much peace and comfort.
Financially, dude, don't listen to the typical comments about diapers and being broke, it doesn't happen, it never happened to me or anybody else I know with babies. Besides, is there something better to spend money on than your kids?
oh shit I'm gettin all sentimental here, what I'm trying to say is yes, having a kid does change your life....FOR GOOD.
- Rand0
no, but we were in a much more unstable financial place, with little hope of a change in the future
- blaw0
i was pretty freaked out that i would end up being an asshole dad. fatherhood is an unbelievable amount of influence to have over another human and i was worried i'd screw him up.
being a dad turned out to be much easier than i expected. who knew watching a baby was fun? we didn't get much done for a few years, but slowly you get some time back.
i'd say, the most important thing is having a household without a bunch of hang-ups. everyone getting along and helping each other out makes for a cool place for everyone.
- Rand0
it has been by far the central best thing of our lives...
23 years later!
- OSFA0
awww, we should start a dads club.
- blaw0
pvn. the 'v' stands for 'virile'.
- -sputnik-0
lol itTango..what a cutie!
i appreciate everyone's input. i guess i didn't realize that worrying about whether my husband was ok was causing me anxiety. hearing from you is really helping...thanks.