question for dads
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- -sputnik-
i have a question for guys and their experience w/having their first child: when you were expecting, did you feel much anxiety? were you worried about how your life, identity, relationship would change? finances?
i expect a slew of smartass comments, but i'm still hoping for some candor and insight :)
- JSK0
did you get someone preg?
are you thinking of running away to another country?
are you the one who is asking about work visa / work in another country?
- -sputnik-0
lol! i'm the one knocked up. my husband is adorable, happy and supportive, but i know that he has some anxiety, probably mostly about finances.
we've been planning for a while but even if we had $100 Gs in the bank, i think he'd still be worried.
i just want to know if there's anything i can do to alleviate any of that or help in any way.
- material-10
did you get someone preg?
JSK
(Mar 22 07, 08:35)hahaha, yes, herself
- -sputnik-0
did you get someone preg?
JSK
(Mar 22 07, 08:35)hahaha, yes, herself
material
(Mar 22 07, 08:38)turkey baster ;)
- material-10
hehe
- ItTango0
when you were expecting, did you feel much anxiety? were you worried about how your life, identity, relationship would change? finances?
-sputnik-
(Mar 22 07, 08:34)Yes.
- grunttt0
if you thnk 100 G's is going to cover it you're in big trouble!!!
jk. =)
- k0na_an0k0
I can't say from personal experience, but I can tell you from what I've seen this is normal. It's a huge life changing moment. Finances are but a small part of it. You're thinking OMG am I going to raise this kid right or is he/she going to be a dumbass? What school are we going to send them to? Shit... is this stroller safe... it doesn't look safe. College?!? OMG COLLEGE!
It's a lot to take in all at once but just understand you've got YEARS for it all to fall into place.
I've got two nephews who are 19 and 18 months old and both Dads I could see felt the same way, but now that it's over they're both like... shit, that was easier than I though.
The first month-two months will be tuff though from what they tell me.
- material-10
ask gramme, he might have a few extra G's laying around
- sherman0
Having a baby taught me patience. Like a little garden that you swoon over, after the first few weeks you will start to see your rewards.
Nothing is more beautiful then your baby.
My advice is to get your personal spending in before they are born because after it can start to get pretty tight depending on your situation.
I freelance so im at home all the time which has its ups and downs.
All the best!!!! Your gonna love it!
- sherman0
And being a mom is a hella va job.
Kudos
- JSK0
my wife got knocked up i fell more responsible, more thoght about future.
"is that prada shoes really worth it?"
also, how would this working arrangement work with the wife? does she want to keep working after or stay home with the kid? if who will take care of the kid? should i start thinking about kid's college?
long story short, i buy my shoes from payless and she stays home with the kid.
the pressure is ever to high. but it seems to balance out by learning how to budget with single income and lifestyle change. that happened after about 3 years. the first 2 years was really hard.
- -sputnik-0
thanks sherman and doug...i appreciate the perspective. it's a big step for both (heck i worry whether i'll be a good mom, know what to do etc) and i just want to be able to help him if i can.
sounds like it's just something we have to go through, and much of it is an individual process.
- sherman0
I agree JSK ~ Its really puts money into perspective.
- sherman0
Oh and get a mid-wife.
srsly
- JSK0
and i gained alot of weight as a dad...
and my wife did also
no time to work out
- k0na_an0k0
The coolest thing is I'm learning about kids from an Uncles perspective. My wife and I are the Godparent's of one of our nephews and we spoil that kid so bad.
I went to Famous Footwear and bought he and I matching addidas sneaks.
Within 10 minutes of wearing them around in the park he managed to step in a huge pile of dog shit.
From now on I think I'll be buying him things that aren't white and less expensive. haha.
- -sputnik-0
this makes it all worth it.
www.architexture.ca/NT... [jpg]
- sorry just being a dad :)
sherman
(Mar 22 07, 08:49)omg the cuteness!! so adorable!!
lol doug :)
- JSK0
when i had to wash my dog's ass with water / soap in bath tub because of dried / new poo that he had incurred because of constipation.......
it was an epiphany. i knew i was ready for a child