poster crit 2
- Started
- Last post
- 47 Responses
- stewart0
ornaments in 1,3 & 4 look like schematic representation of muscles.
nr 2 is funky
hit me with your rhythm stick
maybe a little more rhythm and you're done!
- kelpie0
I agree, number 2 looks most dynamic to me. though I quite like the strength in teh composition of the others, I'm not keen on the graphic elements
- paraselene0
i like 2 much better than i did the first round, the echoing batons are nice.
but i'm more drawn to four...
- Nairn0
elms, i was on your site yesterday, and just let me say - you have some utterly superb work on there. I'm tinged bright red with jealousy.
anyway.
1, i have to say, isn't doing it for me this time - there's a little too much chaos in those lines - doesn't symbolise a tightly knit orchestra.
2, I like more this time, makes more sense with the thinner 'baton' lines and the person's positioning works well with the lighting - though, perhaps a little too much space at top and still a little intangible for the audience? (id' hope not, though)
I want to love 3 - but the weighting between the fore- and back- grounds doesn't feel right. I like the play-off between retro wallpaper, scores and soundwaves - but the thickness of the lines is a little too heavy and the photo feels almost just-plonked on there - maybe have slight 'shadowing' on the lines layer to provide some sense of depth? If i had any clue how to do it, i'd suggest trying to make those soundwave-forms less rigidly straight and flowing more, but that'd be an arse to do.
I don't like 4 - maybe it's the density of aliased lines on my monitor or the colour or the uniform complexity of the forms - not sure, but it's not working for me.
- elms0
thanks!
mhm, was thinking about adding depth to No3 myself also. the third one is the last draft i made, have to work with it some more, maybe adding more different lines? didnt see the resemblance to muscles when i did the drafts, but now...
- Terminal270
number 3 floats my boat. Needs a tiny bit if work, much like the others suggested.
Nice. Hi Five!
- Baskerville0
definitely number 2 (simplest).
Maube looks at the type though. Have a look at your grid. Muller Brockmann would have aligned the type with the diagonal lines (the stronger grid on the page). Why not run the type at the angle:
- Crouwel0
4
- elms0
thank you all. very helpful feedback :)
- lofielectronic0
2 gets my vote. 1 looks like what you might expect it to look like, i.e. proffesional but not that eyecatching but 2 looks 'diffrent'
- elms0
:)
- radar0
I like 1 best, 4 is nice too!
- elms0
thanks
- Crouwel0
i see music waves in 4, very classy. dirigendid is positioned and portrayed more prominently as well.
the raining sticks want to communicate something that may not enhance the essence of the message. rather gimmicky, thus cheap.
- elms0
mhm, they will probably like more 1 and 4, as it will be quite conservative
- Crouwel0
well, it ain't no skate festival.
- JerseyRaindog0
2 closely followed by 1
- johndiggity0
1, and i echo the sentimnet those lines seem to heavy and chaotic. i like how they appear from the baton.
- skillet0
i like 2!
- jaylarson0
i really what you have done with 1. i think only a few tweaks and you'll have a great piece.
align the text more on a grid:
two columns should centered horizontally with each other
- -
- -
- -instead of
-
- -
- -
-lower the headline about 3 cm.
i like the lines as they convey the flow of the music and the sway of the baton and the music. nice.