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well get yer FUCKO ass over here already!
This is my practice email.
Dear unwanted visitor
"STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU, FUCKO"
you sent it right ?
not yet, I will do so tonight. I'm not accustomed to sending mean emails. unless the person owes me money.
...any lie will work.
(Jun 25 05, 14:46)
omg no! wait!! Here's what you should do - invite him! BUT..
You should decorate your place with extremely sick shit. Cut-outs of serial killer articles, and thousands of pictures of random women, some of them with kitchen knives through them. Go to the butchers and get some really bloody meat. Wrap it up nicely and put it in your fridge, in transparent bags. (this is gonna be great for later when you tell him mi casa su casa and that he can grab a beer from the fridge) And as you show him around, you go like "oh, yeah, these little things...yeah, i love women... a little hobby of mine."
omg that would be so much fun, i'll help you decorate!
OMG, I responded to this guy saying I'm really busy and I'm going on holidays the week before he comes and working freelance too. I bcc my friends and included this at the end of my email:
"Do you think he will still come up to see me? I really don’t want to see him at all. Help me write something that will stop him from any contact."
My friends thought I was so rude to include that, but obviously I'm not as rude as that guy!!
OK today I got a response from this guy still insisting I take him around and show him the sights? WTF? doesn't he get it?
What else can I do??
E. don't do it. Make up an excuse, you don't want unwanted visitors. Bad news....
hahaha too bad i only discovered this thread now. this jsut screams for smartass answers.
tell him he's welcome but has to bring the lubricant, and ask him if he likes rainbow patterned satin sheets. then tell him you will shave yourself just for his visit...and that there is no way your HIV will be transferred with these xtra strong Durex you got..
jox idea is much better, though!
tell him that you don't like him and that noone ever liked him and that in school he was known as the biggest mooch and that you'd rather kill yourself than see him. that should work.
(Jun 25 05, 14:48)
I guess I will have to tell him the truth! But all my friends will think I'm rude!
go for it, edvin!
and report back to us!
or pass him the address of the worst crackhouse in the worst neighbourhood in town.
I will. Most likely he will show up at my work, and i will have to slam the door in his face.
its pretty hard not to find people in banff tho. haha. It'll take 15 minutes for him to do a complete lap of town and knock on every office door.
If there's nothing you can do to stop him, just do what jox suggested. It should keep him away for good. Otherwise, maybe you could stay in your house and don't answer the door if it's him? Or just ignore him maybe. Or just say you're really busy and need some quiet time to get lots of work done.