vormburo text crit
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- DutchBoy0
awkay..
hehe..anyway, i changed the other part and added a bit (for the more positive ending!). pls check!
- DutchBoy0
ok, changed that as well.
crit it!
thx.
- contra0
Yep, that's better, like the ending too.
This is confusing...
Ideally both client and Vormburo profit intellectually by challenging conventional apprehension and by stimulating an urge for a broader view.
Who are you stimulating the urge in? And what do you mean by 'challenging conventional apprehension'?
Where's Wendell? Thiis is more his area than mine.
- DutchBoy0
I know! that is why i am asking you kids! engrish is not my native language, na meen? (neither is ebonics btw.)
what i am trying to say is:
'think out of the box'
but that saying is way overused imho!!
- DutchBoy0
any suggestions?
- stewart0
btw, Janne...
..."buro voor grafische vormgeving en nieuwe media"...
if i search for "grafische vormgeving" in google to find designers they're all sort of female wannabee graphic artists / creative housewoman with a G4...
it sounds not good.
or is it just me?
- DutchBoy0
" creative housewoman with a G4"
well, that's me, innit?
:D
and where did you find that?
- rabattski0
stew, have you ever got a job from a client who found you thru google?
- stewart0
"stew, have you ever got a job from a client who found you thru google? "
that is not what i try to say.
what i say is that "grafische vormgeving" is this:
http://www.sandrakingma.nl
http://www.chantaldesign.nl
http://www.elslucker.nlmaybe "grafisch ontwerp"?
- rabattski0
ok. well to me showing up in google at all is not important. i wouldn't worry about it either.
btw:
grafisch ontwerp isn't inspiring either.
http://www.omnia.cistron.nl/
http://www.e2e.be/sitemap/grafis…
http://www.conk.nl/
- mitsu0
Regarding the following:
"We aim to find eye-opening solutions for our clients"
This sounds a little cliche. A bit too reminiscent of corporate lingo associated with the dot-com era. Plus it's a claim that any company could make about their services/products, so I would suggest removing it, or substituting it with something that isn't so generic. Does that make any sense?
- DutchBoy0
i know mitsu, i hear ya..
but in the situation i work here, regarding competition, this is true.. in a way.
in other words (and ok i may sound arrogant now) i tend to surprise my clients with solutions that do balance online and offline identity and in doing this i seem to care more about the visual detail of it then many other 'designshops' here do..
a lot of clients told me that in hindsight they regret not having found me in an earlier stage, they find my competition here usually too expensive and incompetent in translating a briefing into soemthing that the client desires.
- mitsu0
"a lot of clients told me that in hindsight they regret not having found me in an earlier stage, they find my competition here usually too expensive and incompetent in translating a briefing into soemthing that the client desires. "
Now THAT is what I would be looking to hear as a potential client!
I like your logotype btw. Good work.
- DutchBoy0
thx, mitsu.
- bulletfactory0
may want to revise.......
"limited by our personal skill set"get away from the word "personal"
to me, this sentence conveys a feeling that the firm "personally" has a limited skill set.......
possibly..... "limited by an internal skill set"
may help some.....dunno
- DutchBoy0
hmm..
yes.............
- contra0
Do what he said, he's right.
- DutchBoy0
whattaboutthis?
"Vormburo work with a range of specialists in traditional and new media to ensure the technical and creative demands of an original concept are met to any degree"
is this proper grammer?
- mitsu0
it's a bit wordy... almost feel like i'm running out of breath if i say it out loud. sorry, i'm bad critic - i would wreak havoc with a red pen on anyones work... :(
also, should 'work' be 'works'?
- DutchBoy0
i was wondering that as well.
anyone else got any advice on this particular sentence?