Crap jokes
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- sexypixel
In times of war, we need some cheering up. so its time for some crap jokes:
crap joke number 1
A sandwich walks into a bar.
The bartender says
"Sorry we don't serve food in here."
- sexypixel0
crap joke number 2:
A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
- sexypixel0
crap joke number 3:
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other:
"Does this taste funny to you?"
- sexypixel0
crap joke number 4:
A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:
"A pint for me please, and one for the road."
- sexypixel0
I'll get my coat
*leaves (leafs)
- lifeinsodium0
A man walks into a bar. Ouch!
- sexypixel0
Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.
- sexypixel0
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
- unknown0
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: He orders three pints and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in an orders two pints. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss." The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he says, "everyone's fine. I'm just off the liquor."
- Mal0
Piece of string walks into a bar and orders a pint.
Bartender: Are you a piece of string
P.O.S: No I'm a frayed knot.
- detail0
StyleJunky...
...read old Playboy?
I've seen that somewhere before,as I've told it a many time while quite gunned myself...
- sexypixel0
crap joke number 5:
sage
- Mal0
nice!
- kinetic0
an elephant is walking when all the sudden it experiences incredible pain in its foot...so much that it cannot walk on it anymore.
an an comes over to the elephant who is cyring out in pain and says whats wrong? the elephant explains of all the pain in herr foot, so the ant goes to her foor and pulls out the thorn that was causing all the pain.
the elephant is finally able to stand on her foot again. she says to the ant...how can i ever repay you. the ant replies....well...ive always wanted to fuck an elephant
so the elephant agrees and the ant gets behind her....as soon as he sticks it in her...a coconut falls on the elepahnts head ane she cries out in pain...and the little and goes "yea you take it all bitch"
pretty crap, i know
- kpl0
A string walks into a bar. The bartender tells him we don't serve strings, so the string went outside and twisted himself around and beat himself silly. He goes back into the bar, and the bartender asks if he was a string. The string says no, he's a frayed knot.
- kpl0
A mushroom is being shunned by everyone. feeling depressed, he lashes out, 'I'm a fun-gi!"
- stretch1160
Whats brown and sticky?
A stick!
- stretch1160
Whats green and slippery?
A Slipper!
- sexypixel0
where are Saddams Armies?
near his handies
- sexypixel0
Did you hear about the magic tractor that turned into a feild?
- Sapphire0
As we head to war with Iraq, President Bush wants to make one thing clear: This war is not about oil, it's about gasoline.