Relationship Question
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- 141 Responses
- MondoMorphic0
^^ Yeah, there have been a lot of warning signs.
EVERYBODY - thanks so much for your thoughtful advice. I really appreciate it. :)
- iCanHazQBN0
grab her ass for me. she'll know what it means.
- fate_0
I don't think anyone on here is being a jerk.
Mondo, dude, tell her right now it's over and she needs to find a new home in 30 days.
We will be your shoulder to cry on until you realize you just dodged a fucking lethal bullet of a relationship.
- MondoMorphic0
monkeyshine - no offense taken. Those are actually very good points and maybe you're right. Maybe it is the fear of being alone...maybe I'm hoping against hope that she will magically become something she's not. I don't know, but I do know we're not right for each other.
- well who better than a stranger to be a reality check. :)monkeyshine
- MondoMorphic0
fate_ - thanks, I appreciate it.
- iCanHazQBN0
isn't' therapy expensive??
- Juan_DumpIo0
DUMP THE FUCKING SLUT!!!!
- ukit0
Look at it this way, if you stay you will spend the rest of your life resenting her for her emotional immaturity and money problems.
If you break up, you will regret waiting so long.
SO DO IT!
- iCanHazQBN0
also, posting homemade revenge porn on the internet is pretty much a requirement after any break up. just saying.
- pr20
I just wanted to add that EVERYONE is capable of cheating. Since i realized that it stopped being a deal breaker for me.
- not meCoffeemaker
- kiddinCoffeemaker
- that is insane.epete22
- studderine0
eeeeek
- fate_0
"I just wanted to add that EVERYONE is capable of cheating"
And EVERYONE is capable of being honest and monogamous.
- Jaline0
MondoMorphic, not every woman is going to open up like that.
I am pretty much the same way as your girlfriend is when it comes to opening up to people. It's probably because, as Shari noted, I haven't found somebody that I like more than just a little bit.
Which leads me to say:
She's not into you.
Leave.
- MondoMorphic0
^^ You could be very right. While I happen to think her lack of openness stems from her mommy issues (overbearing mother), it could very well be that what she wants me for are things other than lifelong companionship or a "real" marriage. Babies or money?
- Oh, great! Over-bearing mother. Now I’m going to have to update my list!MrOneHundred
- MondoMorphic0
ukit - that is VERY sound logic.
- epete220
if she doesn't have a creepy crawly yet, she will soon. Go before it's to late. Don't stay in a relationship with someone like that, it will only cause more problems.
- OSFA0
Get over it and brake up with her. You won't be alone for long, there are lots of women out there for you to chose from. She is NOT wife material and I might even say that based on the ex, text messages, lies, etc. she cheats on you. I hope I'm wrong because that would hurt and I don't wish that to anybody, but she really sounds like a girl that takes relationships lightly and goes around. I apologize if this sounds offensive but you seem like a good person and people like her don't deserve serious guys, or guys that are ready to be part of a family. Brake up with her.
Oh, and posts pics!
- d_rek0
MondoMorphic,
I feel as if i've recently happened upon simliar circumstance, although we have not been together for nearly as long and are about a decade younger.
Anyway, i've been seeing this girl for about 4 months now. It didn't become real steady until the last month and a half. At first I just looked at is as having fun and we both agreed that's what it was - but now we've been seeing a lot more of eachother and we both have found ourselves really caring for eachother and wanting to be together. However...
She still has an ex in her life as well - someone she was with a long-term relationship with (about 3 years) and has been having problems letting go. She was still 'hanging' out with him but she assures me that there is no love there and definitely nothing sexual - to which i believe simply because of the amount of time spend together and way we are with eachother. The problem is is that the ex is basically a class-5 clinger and a psycho and is really saying and doing everything in the name of love to keep her around. Up until last week she was still talking to him and had even gone out with him. Which.. I hadn't previously had a problem with - i understand how ex situations could be and to be honest was not really threatened by the guy. Until...
Until she lied to me about who she was with. I was at work and called her on my lunch just to casually say hi. She immediately threw caution to the wind by being short with me and sounding very distracted. Needless to say I found out that she was with him and was very upset. Not because she was with him - but because she had lied to me.
So we've had a few heavy discussions since then. She said that because she has been having feelings for me that she didn't want to hurt me and knows that i don't like it when shes with him. Which I understand but she didn't understand that being dishonest is not the way to go about not hurting me. And i don't beleive she has lied to me before about it because she has always told me that she was with him. So after talking i made it clear to her that lying to me about who shes with doesnt help anything and even though i might not like that shes with him its better to be honest with me than to lie to me.
Anyway, to wrap this up we have been communicating with eachother very well right along. And that's really essential to a healthly relationship. She can be honest with me and I can be honest with her. It's really what it's all about. If you can't trust someone then you will always be left wondering what that person is doing, who they're talking to and so on and so forth and you will just end up beating the piss out of yourself emotionally.
I know this post was more for myself than you.. which is fine because it's helping me to gain closure for my situation. But I wish you the best of luck. Hopefully you will be able to pull some insight out of the above and use it to your advantage. All I can really say is that follow your heart and trust your instinct.
- I don't think I've ever dated someone for four months let alone could write four paragraphs about them.flavorful
- You sound like you need to start a diarykalkal
- tells you how much this bothered me and how much I care about her then, eh?d_rek
- so when your girl goes out with her ex while youre not around, what do they do??? they have dinner? sex?iCanHazQBN
- No, it should tell you thatkalkal
- I only read to the first real paragraph to be honest, but I think Jaline may be a 5 paragrapher.flavorful
- nah, i'm not worried about it because it's not worth beating myself up over.d_rek
- Pffft ... you bypass dinner at that point. Plus I call it supper. Decided to throw that in there because I'm tryingflavorful
- to bring that phrase back.flavorful
- well it doesn't. what do they do together while the current BF is not around? seems weird.iCanHazQBN
- Again, haven't read past the first paragraph.flavorful
- I'd be nice to hear from a girl on this one.. girls you know how you are with EX's...d_rek
- ICanHaz, i'm not saying it isn't weird and that it doesn't bother med_rek
- And it's not as if she's seeing him on a regular basis... but hes one of those types where he is saying all the right thingsd_rek
- because he knows her and is just trying to reel her back in and maybe she's not independant enough to know betterd_rek
- yet anyway, but that still doesnt change the way we feel about eachotherd_rek
- epic commentsd_rek
- How old are you, because I have a theory.flavorful
- haha, 25? This is fun.d_rek
- Yes. 25...!!!!!!!d_rek
- interesting. if i had a GF, i dont know that i'd be able to trust her seeing her ex when i'm not around.iCanHazQBN
- My theory is, girls with dudes when they turn 18 - they always have something for them.flavorful
- That being said, I only talk to 18 year olds.flavorful
- What?!flavorful
- i dont understand your theory!iCanHazQBN
- No one understood Einstein's multiples either.flavorful
- I'm not saying I'm Einstein. I just also failed math at a young age.flavorful
- flavorful0
I didn't read what Shari typed, but I agree 100%.