Relationship Question
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- 141 Responses
- raf0
I like how people read the original post and rush with their advice without bothering to read anything..
He dumped her in February!!!
- version30
i sense insecurities. must suck to be in a relationship with an independent woman, i feel so sorry for you // describe what you mean by "cavalier"
- rson0
Fuck sorry but you sound like a dickjerk©! "P.S. She's also an upgrade of three cup sizes over the old girlfriend." lame man
- supersalzman0
You mentioned "Trust issues"
Respect, Honesty and Trust are the foundations to any healthy relationship. If you don't have those, then best to move on.
- tomkat0
whatever everyone else said, don't expect good advice here.
run and ask your friends who know her
- MondoMorphic0
Sorry to revive such an old, dead thread, but I wanted to give an update for all the thread's faithful followers. :)
The old girlfriend was dumped a while ago and my new girlfriend is 11 years younger (and conversely, about 11 years more mature), a lot more fun, smart, very sweet, selfless, maternal, a handful in the bedroom, smart with her money, considerate, thoughtful, and MUCH hotter! All's well that ends well.
P.S. She's also an upgrade of three cup sizes over the old girlfriend.
- vespa0
i don't really see how this girl is so selfish.
she went on trips with her girlfriends, didn't want to end her education for the sake of the 8 year old son of someone she's been seeing for 10 months -- I dunno that's fair enough to me. She certainly doesn't sound like a "monster".
You guys were just on different paths, it's no one's fault it didn't work out.
Good luck, chin up, it's a brand new day!
x
- MondoMorphic0
hahahaha - yeah, I can already see the light at the end of the grief tunnel. I'm not sure I'm quite ready to be "out there" yet, but I'm sure I'll be whoring it up soon enough!
- sunrah0
more sex, and relax.
- MondoMorphic0
Hahaha - no, it wasn't based on your post. ;)
- styleplus0
@MondoMorphic
Hey man, I was just being playfully obnoxious. I didn't even read your original post. I hope your actions (leaving the ho) were not based too rigidly on my suggestion.
- MondoMorphic0
She's been left...the relationship is over. I'm just trying to come to terms with everything.
- life's short, rearrange your furniture, take a walk, welcome back. Get on with other stuff, really quickly :)mikotondria3
- styleplus0
this thread is bull. LEAVE THAT HO.
- MondoMorphic0
I completely agree. Nobody is perfect...not her and certainly not me.
In so many ways, big and small, she is great. She is fun, she is athletic, she has a nice perspective on things, she challenges me in a lot of ways (e.g., I never really recycled before I was with her) and we have a bunch of shared interests.
What's bad though is her selfishness. To put things into perspective, I have an 8 year old son who is the light of my life. I love and adore him and because our home and his mother and school are here in San Diego, I too am obligated to be in San Diego...
...but knowing this, she still wanted me to move away so that she could go to school at UCLA. Moving away would cause me to forfeit all rights to him. I would be abandoning a perfect angel who had done nothing to deserve such horrible treatment. Imagine how his father abandoning him would ruin his life. She didn't care about ruining the life of a human being though - she just wanted to do what she wanted to do.
In my opinion, that is selfishness to the point of being a monster and honestly, thinking about it, I really don't know why I am so mourning the loss of her and this relationship.
- I like it how you wrote about her having an ex husband and not mentioning you had a son.rafalski
- Yeah, that was a big point.
I don't completely blame her though. Both of you were going in different directions.Jaline - Not like having a son was a bad thing, not at all, just interesting how incomplete the story was :)rafalski
- autoflavour0
people compensate too often, which is ok.. but you need to keep a perspective on what it is you are compensating over.
if she leaves the milk out, uses the last toilet paper or talks on the phone too much.. that is one thing.
being overly self concerned and only in the relationship as something to make her feel more important.. that is something else completely.
- autoflavour0
mondo, i hate to put it like this.. but life is way to short to be stuck in a relationship with someone like that.
communication is one thing, but yep respect for yourself and for those around you is very important also.
too often people compensate for poor habits of their partner because they believe in the bigger picture. this is a natural and right thing to do. No one is perfect and to expect it you will eventually just end up by yourself.
for what its worth, my advice is seek greener pastures.
if you see how she acts as something that has a history or repeated pattern, then you either need to accept that is who you are with, or accept that not every match is meant to be.
dont throw the baby out with the bath water, unless the baby is dead and the bathwater has turned septic.
- MondoMorphic0
autoflavour >> I completely agree. It's the basis of any relationship, and it was the thing we were worst at.
We could have worked on our communication though, but the real, fundamental problem was her selfishness. Granted, she "tried" to be committed for a while, but even then, she was only willing to be in the relationship to the extent that she was able to satisfy her own personal needs. Any time she had to sacrifice her personal needs for the good of the relationship...well...she never actually had to sacrifice her personal needs.
What's so troubling is that she has had a marriage and several relationships since that all ended because she was unwilling to set aside her personal needs for the good of the relationships. Rather than learn from this repeated mistake, or even recognize that she made a mistake, she insists upon letting history repeat itself.
It broke my heart earlier today when a friend of mine told me about a text she had received from her significant other. All it said was "there is no more me...there is only US."
- STRIPPERS0
For your sake you better have tapped that sweet little thing real good before you walked out the door. Then you'll be the "ex."
- autoflavour0
if you cant have a good conversation, what is the point.