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Classic Parent Lines 8282 Responses

Last post: 8 years, 6 months ago | Thread started: Jan 15, 06, 8:17 p.m.

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  • Gucci

    mine:
    "be careful, and behave"

    Jan 15, 06, 8:17 p.m. – Permalink
  • Jaline

    "You can do that when you're NEVER"

    (mainly for girls)

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    Dog-earJan 15, 06, 8:20 p.m. – Permalink
  • exador1

    my dad used to say 'keep your powder dry, and the world will turn'

    i think he heard that from the movie platoon or something...

    he also used to say 'dont' let the enemy eat your breakfast'....
    think that was from a tv commercial...

    regardless where they came from, i always like hearing him say stuff like that...
    quite the guy, my old man.
    :)
    ex

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    Dog-earJan 15, 06, 8:21 p.m. – Permalink
  • exador1

    i suppose the big classic lines from my childhood tho, were when my brother and i would get uppidy with him or my mom..
    he'd just calmly look at us, and quietly say, 'appolgise to your mom right now, or you and i, little man..will go down the hallway right now, and 'do a little dance'....

    i think the do a little dance thing was some kind of code word for 'getting the tar beat out of me'...
    suffice to say, he was a quiet man, that never ever raised his voice...
    so hearing words like that come from him, and knowing he could back it up...well....
    i never had to go down the hall and find out what the 'dance' was all about...
    i'd appologize pretty fucking fast...

    his standard line about things like if he ever caught us doing drugs..or if we ever got a girl pregnant when we were teenagers was 'see that big tree in the backyard..i'll hang you off it'...

    i suppose stuff like this sounds nuts, but it did make an impression...

    quiet guy, my old man...very funny, very gentle....but there was never any doubt groing up that his word was fucking law in the house...
    some folks yell, some folks beat the snot out of their kids..
    my dad just had to say a few quiet words

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    Dog-earJan 15, 06, 8:28 p.m. – Permalink
  • _me_

    "Look with eyes not fingers!"

    "You're not leaving the table till you've eaten all your greens"

    and in later years...
    "If you are going paddling, be sure to wear your wellies!!![gumboots] " it actually took me a while to work that one out! :P

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    Dog-earJan 15, 06, 8:36 p.m. – Permalink
  • Jaline

    "Just wait until you're older and have kids of your own."

    "You'll thank me later."

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    Dog-earJan 15, 06, 8:37 p.m. – Permalink
  • Gucci

    "I see said the blind man, as he picked up his hammer and saw"

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    Dog-earJan 15, 06, 8:45 p.m. – Permalink
  • jevad

    I thought my dad's recent email reply to my question of how fundamentally disasterous organized religion has been was pretty good:

    "I think that organised religion has been responsible for inculculable damage to the world and the people in it over the years. I think that the far-right religious zealots in America currently represent a far greater threat to world peace than the Islamic fanatics but would wish both sets of them to fuck off and get a life."

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    Dog-earJan 15, 06, 8:46 p.m. – Permalink
  • spifflink

    my dad is the last of the great white hunters. he's not racist in anyway, but he says the funniest lines ever.

    i was with my gf and abunch of my friends in our new pool and it was cold still, so my dad comes out and says "lets see who can cut glass with their nipples!"

    whenever its dark outside and we are camping, he always yells "its blacker than kobe's butt out here!"

    and to say hi to someone he always says, "chips a-hoy!"

    crazy old man

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    Dog-earJan 15, 06, 8:50 p.m. – Permalink
  • BuddhaHat

    hi - heya snotbucket

    Door open - What, is your other house a tent?!?!

    Merci Beaucoup - Murky Buckets!

    Thank you - tankyourbellymunchlies

    'it's on the phone, don't take x hours like you did last time', where x is 3 hours longer than you really spent on the phone.

    And there's the problem of constantly being addressed as my brother James, not me.

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    Dog-earJan 15, 06, 9 p.m. – Permalink
  • visualplane

    "Wear a condom"

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    Dog-earJan 15, 06, 9:10 p.m. – Permalink
  • IRNlun6

    my old man wasn't much into using lines... the belt would do the talking for him...

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    Dog-earJan 15, 06, 9:13 p.m. – Permalink
  • doesnotexist

    dont make me turn this car around!

    that one really is the best.

    great to use in any ocassion when people piss you off. (regardless if youre in a car)

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    Dog-earJan 15, 06, 9:22 p.m. – Permalink
  • skelly

    "Have you met any girls?"

    The "yet" at the end of this statement is not said but implied.

    Usually followed by "What about that [x] girl?" where [x] is an old female friend. Often, parent will state how "nice" that girl was.

    also, "Why are the batteries taken out of the smoke alarm?"

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    Dog-earJan 15, 06, 9:26 p.m. – Permalink
  • Gucci

    Spiff: maybe he's really saying "toby's ass" I think it's an old saying or something.
    I once heard some old dude say "it's blacker than toby's ass at midnight". I asked him what the hell it meant, but he shrugged it off and said all pat-me-on-the-headlike "it's just one of those things"

    anyhoo...
    my mom likes to give me a headshake followed by a limp up the stairs, a sigh, and a disalussioned:
    ".........I don't know."

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    Dog-earJan 15, 06, 9:33 p.m. – Permalink
  • VectorMasked

    "Just wait until you're older and have kids of your own."

    "You'll thank me later."

    Jaline
    (Jan 15 06, 20:37)

    HAHA. That's what my dad told me like three times a day.
    My dad aside from saying shit like that he loved speaches. It seemed as if went to work with the only purpose of preparing a speach for my sis and I on how ungrateful we are and shit.

    The most popular line in my house was "When I was your age I never.........."
    I hated it. They talk to much and have no proof that they did what they say they did.

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    Dog-earJan 15, 06, 9:33 p.m. – Permalink
  • ad1

    Dad: "ask your mum"
    Mum: "ask your dad"

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    Dog-earJan 15, 06, 10:09 p.m. – Permalink
  • horton

    Dad: "ask your mum"

    ad1
    (Jan 15 06, 22:09)

    ha! that's my trademark... use it everyday.

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    Dog-earJan 15, 06, 10:14 p.m. – Permalink
  • Gucci

    ha! that's my trademark... use it everyday.

    horton
    (Jan 15 06, 22:14)

    definitely a classic parent line

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    Dog-earJan 16, 06, 8:42 a.m. – Permalink
  • todelete__2

    "you'll shoot your eye out"

    they were right. i'm eyeless.

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    Dog-earJan 16, 06, 8:45 a.m. – Permalink
  • gruntt

    "you're like a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there."

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    Dog-earJan 16, 06, 8:46 a.m. – Permalink

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