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- stoplying10
It was my birthday last Friday and I was flying home from Houston - flight delayed 4 hours. My wife and boys said they would pick me up at the airport and my 4 year old son had a balloon for me.
From there, we headed to a sushi restaurant about 45 mins away, and my son opened his car window and POOF, the balloon was violently ripped off his wrist and sucked out of the car. Inconsolable hysterics ensued. For 20 minutes.
So we go to a Toys R Us store to get a replacement balloon - he was that upset.
Go to sushi joint, they bring us to our table, we're figuring out who is going to sit where and POOF - a ceiling fan gets our second balloon.
A young couple next to us was just leaving as we sat down and saw the balloon pop. 10 minutes later they come back with a new balloon for my son. All was right in the universe again.
People can be really good sometimes.
- lesson learned and reinforced: throw tantrum to get what you want, over and over again :)monospaced
- lovely story :)fadein11
- :)sted
- Over a fucking balloon? You give in like that? :) My parents would haven't even got me the balloon as it would be deemed an 'unnecessary expense' by Dad. hehePonyBoy
- balloon!!imbecile
- They all floatdyspl
- apparently PonyBoy has no idea what a balloons means to ussted
- The balloon was for me, but my son felt so bad that he lost MY balloon, he was crushed.stoplying
- Oh!monospaced
- haha! Now I want a balloon :(PonyBoy
- Now I feel bad.monospaced
- no you don't... if I had a balloon you'd be the first to pop it, mono... admit it!! :DPonyBoy
- lol @monoBennn
- Happy birthday BTW!mugwart
- and you didn't tell us?!?!?!pango
- ^ isnt it uncool to tell people your birthday?mugwart
- people are usually jerks..but occasionally they aren't.. I like this storyautoflavour
- nice story but I r3ckon life is still fucked lolsureshot
- No not really. How else would anyone know your birthday?pango
- https://youtu.be/DrG…ApeRobot
- http://www.awarepare…ApeRobot
- ^
point pango! Well it was my BDay as well as stoplying!mugwart - HBD!!pango
- detritus-1
I have a friend who has a 'burner phone'.
Except it's a stock Samsung install and this person has it on all the time, right next to their normal phone, so fuck, useless as per its intent.
As per the 'probably always on, unless you managed to find the setting' recording and advert-matching above, endemic surveillance is everywhere now, yo; We've wholly-idiotically- complicitly blundered into a near-1984 level of surveillance.
Fuckers here and everywhere need to start ditching FB and G, building low-tech receiver phone/modules and making grid/darknet networks.
If people don't start mass-legitimising some level of hackerdom and parallel buy-in to that, we're fucked.
The Internet - the 'web' - is fucked.
We need a back-up plan.
- I 'may' have had a couple too many joints and ciders at this point.detritus
- "dumb phones"imbecile
- isn't your second half just referring to ham radio?imbecile
- no, sorry - meant 'mesh' rather than 'grid'.
My bad. Smart extended wifi, essentially.detritus - My work phone is a 'dumb' phone.
Works great.
Except texting.
I forgot what old texting is like.detritus - just don't install everything on your phone, for example: fb and fb messenger is a bad idea...sted
- I know. I know. This person's paranoid about external interventions... yet uses WhatsApp extensively. I mean, really?detritus
- I'm trying to convince a client to make a two-phone RF-shielded pouch thing, so that people can have a hard reset point.detritus
- I agree with this 100% regardless of cider/joints consumed.fadein11
- Makes sense to me, but surely old texting technology is less secure in someways than even Whatsapp?Ianbolton
- My weed dealer is paranoid AF about even having a phone, even though you can smell his car all over town.Ianbolton
- autoflavour3
decided to start from scratch with my new MacBook Pro instead of migrating my old machine.. which truth be told has been migrated over the last 4 laptops..
its amazing how much better a computer runs when its not burdened down with years and years of crap you don't need or even know is buried away.
- fourth6
I met a girl. Friend of a friend of a friend. First time I've connected with anyone in a really long time. Both introverts. Seemed to hit it off and had a lot in common. couldn't stop talking to one another and we planned a art night this week to get together and do some calligraphy together.
Now I'm all up in my own head because I've been here before so many times in my 34 years of living. I'm not sure if she's interested at all because she's really fucking pretty. She said we were going to become "new besties". Not the worst thing but you know. Our mutual friends have been ominously quiet and I can tell they're watching real closely. I can't tell if they know something I don't know?
wish me luck
- just make sure your penis ready to go for calligraphy night.capn_ron
- oh dear lord! i forgot a very important space. pen (insert space) is. carry on.capn_ron
- its called a nibfourth
- I'm sure your mutual friends have all said 'may the fourth be with you'. I know, I'm funny. Good luck man. Go with it. xIanbolton
- lol ronscarabin
- Your friends probably set you up.pango
- Great news about meeting this girl. Let her know early that you don't just find her interesting that you find her very attractive too....microkorg
- ... you don't want to end up 'just friends'.microkorg
- I see the friendzone in the distance.robthelad
- If you want to fuck her, but you are not trying, I have identified why you keep getting "here" but no further.imbecile
- "New besties" run, brother!mekk
- yeah that "new besties" comment seems like a red flag. Find out fast. All the best.HAMT
- Calligraphy and Chill™microkorg
- "new besties" could go either way. No way to know if she's down, but to go for it. Do some "Ghost" moves behind her with the pen.section_014
- Watch her reactions. Is she flirty, twirling her hair, responding well to suggestions of oral sex, etc.CyBrainX
- Microkorg is right, you're going to need to show sexual interest off the bat. And make sure a touch her a bit as you talk...robotron3k
- LOL@ ron and CyBrainBennn
- lol @ cybrainfadein11
- This is a quality thread.garbage
- Just don't be afraid. Of anything.
Have courage.stoplying - New besties was strange but kinda cute thosince1979
- Just do what all us awkard Brits do - get drunk with her one night and allow yourselves to make a terrible mistake either way...detritus
- new besties. start that way - and then don't be too accessible... let her miss you a bit.umbee54
- be honest. If you like her tell her this means a lot to you and you want to be more than 'besties'.mugwart
- if it goes tits up (hope it wont) you will have something. if not .. well its better than pretending your just friends.mugwart
- Bring her flowers.monNom
- You may be friend zoned, but make your intentions clear soon and don't keep hanging out with her if she just wants to be friends. Unless you're completely OKJaline
- ...with that and aren't planning on pursuing her forever. That can lead to issues. Hopefully it goes well though! I can relate to you.Jaline
- If this one doesn't work out, you'll find someone else who loves spending time with you and vice-versa :)Jaline
- good luck to you sirpockets
- yeah, flowers... but have them delivered to her home, which you hopefully don't have an address for yet, but will soon. This proactive behavior will entice her.imbecile
- Coming from a woman, disclosing all that on the web is not only weak, it's a lack of discretion. It's not luck you need, look up integrity.BustySaintClaire
- time to do some manscapingCALLES
- damn it I love you guys. thank you for the helpful, hilarious, and feel good responses. you don't know how much it meansfourth
- LOL BustySaintClaire what did he even disclose? Talking casually about a new relationship isn't "weak". You also need to look up integrity in the dictionarytwentyfive
- tell her you have a new calligraphy nib that only works on skin. specifically, the inside of the thigh.Greedo
- top ten worst places to have a conversation about anything personal or emotiunalDaveO
- Penis mightier than a word.pango
- @BustSaintClaire (great name btw) this is sort of most of our homes! Where else can we dump our fucked up like to over weirdos and somehow get sound advice?mugwart
- +1 Mugwart. You have a great way of responding to contentious subjects in highly amenable terms, I've noticed.detritus
- Me, as often I wrote my response, read it back to myself and deleted it.detritus
- Also do you only want the fucking idiots of the world to breed and proliferate? This is why we're in the mess we're in, our best and brightest can't be bothered_niko
- ;)_niko
- thanks detritus!mugwart
- So.... any updates?mugwart
- she bailed on tonight, we rescheduled for Sunday. She mentioned she had church group stuff tomorrow. not sure how I feel about that lolfourth
- *klaxxons*detritus
- *church*
ohhh shieeet.
Run!pango - They'll copy medieval irish bibles by candlelight, one illuminated capital at a timeGreedo
- might mean she has morals though.mugwart
- might have too many morals? I've dated a christian before, didn't work out too well.fourth
- since19790
I tried to explain what a bitch was to this fresh off the boat New Zealander and I told him it's like the "female equivalent to an asshole".
I'm not sure I explained that right.
- mg330
Why does a show like Veep have to use profanity and crassness as such a gigantic crutch to stay relevant? My wife watches it and it's like they took the juvenile aspects of Eastbound and Down and multiplied them by a million. I think it would be a much funnier show if they dialed back that stuff.
- Veep is US version of The Thick Of It, brainchild of Armando Iannucci. Them Brits kind of pride themselves in creative swearing.garbage
- Also it's to illustrate the cut throat atmosphere of working in politics. If it gets too sweary forthey Americans, they already addressed that in the movie.garbage
- -they, https://youtu.be/q2F…garbage
- @Garbage Just because they addressed it doesn't make it any less of a crutch. Without Malcolm Tucker + british tact it just comes off as childish.twentyfive
- I don't see it as a crutch. Cursing can be a result of lazy writing, but I just don't see it in the case of The Thick of It. I don't watch Veep though, sogarbage
- ..maybe there is a point to be made.garbage
- ^its definitely employed much better in Thick of It. Veep has been relying on it too much for the past couple seasons imotwentyfive
- detritus0
My partner's just excitedly emailled me about some 'secret candlelit 20s style speakeasy club' and from the tone, evidently really really wants to go.
Personally, I can't think of any thing more dreadful and have a good idea of the sort of middling imaginationless bore who goes to such things. Indeed, I'm scrolling through the site's gallery and... oop! "I know that girl".
She's a middling imaginationless bore from my hometown 25-odd years ago.
It's just fancy dress for dull prats. i don't get it. And I know she doesn't either - she's always as bemused by the English obsession with shit fancy dress as I am.
Fucking hell.
And I'd need to buy some wank 20-style bullshit suit too.
nnnnnngh.
- If I do have to go, I might just rent a zoot suit and ruin things for everybody.detritus
- Like a garish one, I mean.
http://electricka.co…detritus - or go as a 20s cop and billy club everyone over their head because prohibitionkona
- take some opium along to spice the night up a bit and add even more era realismmicrokorg
- haha both, or a Klan member, see how that shit would go down...detritus
- ..or are the Klan more of a 50s-era thing?detritus
- you don't have to buy a suit just a suspender and a bow tie, maybe a striped pants, pick a lame shirt and it's done.sted
- jeans overalls, a train engineers hat and an old fashioned oil can and ask if you can turn everyone's engine overGreedo
- Beeswax10
My wife was feeling a bit weird lately so we went to a doctor.
After a bit of talk he checked her belly.
AND SHIEEEEETTTTT!!!! There's a baby!
An extra heart is beating inside my wife.
I was about to faint when he turned the speakers on.
9 fucking weeks old!We were not expecting this at all. I suggested her to stop taking birth control and I'm sure I said we can use condoms but of course never used it.
We were both strong defenders of not having a child.
You know, what is the point?
The world sucks, humanity is eroding, too much responsibility, there's not even one logical reason to have a baby(except selfish ones) and so on...We're both 40 and we will have a baby if everything goes ok.
I'm so scared.
Me, as a father, I dunno.
I can't even take care of myself. Somebody had told me that we would have a big shift in august because of our astro signs(leo and aquarius) but this big!?- Congrats? You seem to have your shit together.Greedo
- oh man tell your point to that mother in Africa who just gave birth to her 8. child. This will change your life for good.sted
- Congrats whatever lol :Dsted
- https://media.giphy.…moldero
- awesome, congrats!
Best thing in the world.
scary as fuck but you'll manage._niko - A nice grown up way to approach it!DaveO
- Congrats, man - add one small human per decent human pairing and you can still make the world a better place.detritus
- Özgür?oey
- :Dmonospaced
- also ... there are countless reasons to have a baby that are not all selfish :/monospaced
- CONGRATS! Best way of finding out!
If you feel you shouldn't have because of the world - you should. Means your aware of the world and can teach the next gen...mugwart - ... how to unfuck up this gens mess!mugwart
- YO - congrats! shit gets real really fast, once u hear baby cry for the first time. life changing. efficiency on 3-4hrs of sleep is pretty mind blowing actuallyumbee54
- @mono pls tell me one so I can maybe shake off this weird feeling.Beeswax
- 1. You can distill the best of you and your partner, your families and the best of your culture, humour, curiosity and love into one singular being.detritus
- Congrats!!
Your dick works! :Dpango - 2. You get to spend 20 years mind-fucking a human you've created, and no one can give you shit.detritus
- 3. In 5-12 years you'll have a servant.detritus
- nice, so human engineering. almost like creating your own AI but not completely artificial.Beeswax
- ^ there will come a time about 6-7 years from now. When the little one will catch you up and take your hand and smile up to you and call you daddy...mugwart
- ... any question/feeling you have now will make sense. its odd and its a bit trippy but its the greatest feeling in the world.mugwart
- "Your dick works! :D"
—pango
Well, someone's dick works...
:Ddetritus - 4. You'll have someone who can work whatever equivalent of VHS video recorders there is in 10 years.detritus
- You appreciate life and the world more. Gives you new perspective, focus and drive. Plus you get to relive all the cool childhood things_niko
- Having a child is a selfless act, not selfish. To create a paradigm shift to bring this life that will look to you for guidance, and provide unconditional loveETM
- is not selfish. And honestly. The world in it's entirety is not worse then ever. Shit always happens, turn off the news more often and your life outlook willETM
- improve in a very short time. Find the good, not the bad. And be happy that one of the hardest, yet greatest things you can experience may be happening soon.ETM
- As to the human engineering: my 9 year old is mindfucking me pretty hard these days. He knows all my buttonsGreedo
- Also, i can see my worst qualities in him, but really have to work on him to get my best qualities out.Greedo
- They do develop a life of their own rather fast and mercilesslyGreedo
- https://vignette3.wi…detritus
- What a sick, warped mind. Selfish to have a baby? You are a Margret Sanger eugenist.Hayoth
- Congrats, Bees. All will be well :)Gnash
- "We were not expecting this at all. I suggested her to stop taking birth control" What were you expecting?fooler
- my wife was 40 with our 2nd (also unexpecting child) I was 43. he's two now and he's amazing and healthy. You're not to old yet.fooler
- doesn't want children, has unprotected sex regularly -_-monospaced
- do you like sleeping? LOL.. forget about that nowautoflavour
- congrats tho..autoflavour
- hey ETM "... that will look to you for guidance, and provide unconditional love" is as egocentric as reason as it gets. There's nothing wrong with wanting tozarkonite
- make children but it's fundamentally entirely an ego thing.zarkonite
- It's not an "ego" thing, it's just the way it is. But you clearly have no kids, and are yet another who try to speak without practical experience, so thanks.ETM
- I always get a kick out of single friends and family who think they know a single fuck about what it means to raise a family.ETM
- sounds like your wife took the decision herselfdrgs
- Haha nice one, tho wtf did you expect having unprotected sex. You're about to undergo the most tremendous life journey, massive highs, deep lows, excitement allhans_glib
- ... the timehans_glib
- congrats and what auto said :)fadein11
- if you dont want it no shame in abortiondeathboy
- Beeswax, i felt the same as you - can barely look after myself ;). But 5 months ago my wife and I had a baby girl (was planned). Couldn't be happier! ...microkorg
- .. she makes me cry with laughter every day. She is always super excited to see me after i finish work - her smile is priceless! ...microkorg
- Yes, it's hard work but it's all WELL worth it. Dirty nappies and sick are a laugh. Just have fun. Enjoy this new life developing in the world. Watch it grow ..microkorg
- .. into a little person.microkorg
- She stop taking birth control pills and you didnt use condoms and you were not expecting a baby? lol! Babies! How do they work! CONGRATS BEESWAX ;-)Bennn
- "You know, what is the point?"
Ha...talk to me after the kid is born.
Kids are hope. Congratulations!stoplying - Congrats! The moment you see your child for the first time everything will just naturally come to you. Having kids is the best thing I've ever done.kona
- Pro tip: start wearing ear plugs now. Blame it on the birds waking you at night. When baby arrives, wearing ear plugs is your thing.calculator
- i_monk0
The closest thing I've had to a freelance offer in a month turned into "I'm looking for a volunteer..." over the course of a five minute phone conversation.
- You will get great exposure out of it. They will tell all their friends!capn_ron
- August is the shittest month. I'm lucky because projects from June have all been greenlighted. That did, of course, make June my shit month this year.detritus
- ach't - I meant "finally greenlighted in August", so I have shit to do now, yo.detritus
- OBBTKN1
I hate the flies, the mosquitoes, a lot, you can not imagine... but, the horsefliesssss!!! Why can not Bayer create one of those venoms they know to do this well and extinct this shit from planet earth??
- I cured that fear by not caring about them, just let them bee.uan
- Hard to ignore the sharp pain of a horsefly bite... And the hateful itching that followshans_glib
- ^ thisOBBTKN
- the worst is when you're on a portage and your hands are busy holding a canoe over your head. you have to just let them feast.Gnash
- imbecile1
If you're not using a shoehorn, I really don't know what you're doing with your life.
- Wearing flip flops?detritus
- It's balmy here in London.
//detritus - to scratch your back...sted
- Don't know about you, but i'm pretty confident in understanding how shoelaces work.face_melter
- ^ but not shoes, apparentlyset
- I don't buy shoes that require a horn or clothes that require an ironset
- fuck shoehorns.
i use a pick axe because i'm a real man.kona - it's like slipping your foot into butter, butter i tell you! no finger pinch, no crushed heel. (I wear oxfords every day.) a better dress experience, try it.imbecile
- Signs you're getting old thread, pleasedesmo
- ^ thiscalculator
- I have an extra long one so I don't have to bend down...monNom
- signs i'm not spending time in the SNEAKERS thread ;) (but yes)imbecile
- set wears magical shirts that don't wrinklemonospaced
- set buys bespoke Docs from a secret cobbler because manufacturing is a international conspiracy perpetuated by lizards and sentient cakes.face_melter
- lol mono, I don't own an iron and nothing I wear is creased... I don't wear shirts though..set
- The only time I've ever worn a shirt or a suit is at weddings at funerals once every year or two, in which case I'll get my one suit dry cleaned and pressedset
- Literally nothing else I own requires an iron..set
- You only wear tshirts? I guess that's cool. Lol.monospaced
- Onesies don't need ironing.detritus
- imbecile0
Beeswax Baby Birthday Prediction:
<calculating>
( yesterday - 9 weeks) + 40 weeks
</calculating>
Tuesday 27 March 2018
- shellie3
People in NYC subways can be so rude when it comes to sound from their phones. Playing games with the volume fully up, that's an irritating sound to anyone not looking at the screen. And for music, goddamnit put headphones on what the hell? Last night a kid walks into the bodega and is blasting shitty music and mumbling along. There was already music playing in the room so now we all have to listen to competing bass, drums, and melodies -- something that drives me fucking crazy.
Dont ALL cell phones come with headphones nowadays? And if you lose them, another pair is dumb cheap unless you want to upgrade. it's got to sound better and louder than the phone speaker.
Do people in other cities do this? i never took public trans in LA but if you walked into a store doing this people would all turn and look.
- it's a thing in London too - egofuck shits with no manners and who don't know of a time before dickhead rectangles were endemic. No manners. No respect.detritus
- next thing you know, people will force you to look at the clothes they're wearing or the car they're driving... the audacityimbecile
- yesterday i was complainig sort of the opposite: there's no music on the trains and one doesn't any ghetto blasters around.oey
- in south america there's music in the bus...somebody told me...hahahaha! everybody with their laptops, phones and headphones. make some noise!oey
- the shitty tinniness of phone speakers is worse than the music. FFS someone spent hours making that music, so pls do it the honour of playing it on a decent syshans_glib
- System...hans_glib
- seriouslymonospaced
- live bands and dj's in public transports. book readings. poetry. one could choose the peace line or the meditation subway.oey
- The Swede's abject fear of invading people's personal space means that *everyone* wears headphones. Train journeys in the morning are almost silent.face_melter
- what about kids in restaurants on electronics while parents are unfazed about the noise level. get them some fkn headphones too!sea_sea
- ah! the swedes. the swedes are clean people one swedish girl told me once in a job interview. they've been ethnically cleaning sweden for over 100 years.oey
- They've kind've fucked that up in the past ten years, then.detritus
- "SIGNS YOU"RE GETTING OLD" THREAD! just saying :)Maaku
- pockets0
i'm looking to get a braclet and necklace or just one or the other for my woman.. any ideas? $300 or less
the open heart necklaces look like Z's to me :(
- braceletpockets
- http://www.oztokyo.c…uan
- do you have any local boutiques or farmer's markets where you can get something a little less "production-made"?capn_ron
- tokyo swag posted 'cause I had it open in another tab...get something from a local jewel maker, maybe a body chain, she might like it, you too :Duan
- necklace w/ earrings is always a classic combo. nothing says love like conflict or blood diamondsimbecile
- i use to work in the jewelry district in dtla, i guess i might hit up my russian bosspockets
- Pearl necklace....
He... he... he... he...
Ok I'll let my self out.pango - a warm pearl necklaceutopian
- i was thinking what pango was thinking. it's affordable toosarahfailin
- http://www.comach.co…
Just saying ;)hans_glib
- stoplying0
How would I write the date (for a graphic) for an Irish audience?
Said event took place on July 17, 2017.
A) 17th July, 2017
B) 17/7/2017
A is more formal, but do I need another comma? Is B too casual?
Thanks!
- what is the 17th month!?
//imbecile - why would you need a comma on A?
17 July 2017 looks correct imoimbecile - I'm not sure I need one...I need clarification! No comma after 17th,? Or no "th"stoplying
- no to either I would think.
just...
17 July 2017imbecile - As someone not Irish, I'd say A, with comma.detritus
- you have to think like an irish, ress something green, drink a few guiness pints and kick set's ballsoey
- what is the 17th month!?
- since19790
Is mental illness enough reason for someone to act like a punk bitch?
- i_monk0
AVclub just switched over to Kinja, one of the shittiest platforms around.
- bklyndroobeki0
Thinking of getting into Gaming. Where to direct my attn to first?
- The only games i play are Clash of Clan and Clash Royal (iOS / Android)
Very cool games.Bennn - ps4 & psvrscarabin
- Video games thread.monospaced
- ps because xbox exclusives are sheitsted
- Oh Jesus, really Bennn? Aren't they bullshit casual micropayment games?detritus
- What sort of games do you like?
Where will you play (living room, studio?)
Do you have a budget?
What computer do you use?detritus - I had planned to buy a PS4 this year but haven't gotten around to it - now eyeing Switch, but just for Zelda & MarioKart..detritus
- ..I'm not sure how big the library is for it at the moment?detritus
- If you have a PC, don't bother with an XBox - most decent XBox releases are on PC anyway, so just make sure you've got a worthwhile GPU.detritus
- Amusingly, I'm sitting here thinking about your Q and I've got no idea whether I have a PS2 or not. I think I do, but... I'm struggling remember. Dementia.detritus
- Get whichever system you have the most friends playing, so you can team up.DRIFTMONKEY
- Actually, yes - that's a very important consideration. However, if all your friends have XBoxes, I'd suggest you find new friends :)detritus
- wow, this is kind of great. thanks guys... i don't have a TV but to have one for a box... i'll pick one up.bklyndroobeki
- start here, work your way forward
https://www.mariowik…autoflavour
- The only games i play are Clash of Clan and Clash Royal (iOS / Android)