Depressed Girlfriend
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- 39 Responses
- Maaku0
- Maybe she is home-sick?
- Find her another job
- Make her watch "The Secret"
- (The Secret is about being positive)
- Invite her to learn a new skill or something to keep her busy?
- chrisRG0
always try to change the topic of the conversation to something good, the old fashioned "always look to the brighter side".
i have a friend who from time to time feels like that, all I can do is listen and try to push him to remembering good things, it seems to help!
- 20020
Time to move on.
You are enabling her cycle of depression.
- newuser0
Hate to say it, but do you love each other? If she doesn't have many people around and you're not "the one", she might be really lost.
70% of people hate their jobs or something like that. They need hobbies and love and distractions to get them through.
- nb0
I'd think taking time off work is risky for a depressed person. If you don't go out and find exciting/fun things to do with yourself (which would be hard when you're depressed) you're almost definitely going to get more depressed.
- capn_ron0
a really long nice walk around a body of water should open her up to some fresh air, allow new thoughts to come in and also get her excited for something. I'm talking both of you go on this walk. You listen. Really listen. Then only offer advice if you have it. If you don't it is okay to say "I don't know". be outside.
- do this quite a bit. we live by the beach and am constantly suggesting we go. when we do go, she's stoked.aliastime
- mental note of this.ohhhhhsnap
- doesnotexist0
just listen and be there
been in her shoes myself
it's hard to go out and do fun things when you're trapped in that mood, it's not as easy as snapping your fingers. be patient!
- dbloc0
exercise, exercise, exercise
- monNom0
If you're serious about the relationship, you need to make more time for her. Full time + classes + 2 freelance gigs + laundry, cooking, cleaning, sleeping. Where's your quality time in all that?
She's probably lonely.
Consider taking up an activity together where you can build a network of shared friends that can take some of the pressure off you to be 'activity planner'/'therapist'. Maybe a church? Maybe a softball league?
I'm no doctor, but the long-term effects and dependency of depression meds almost seem like more of a curse than a benefit. if you have the option to change your circumstances to bring more joy into your life through community and companionship, do what it takes to move in that direction. Even if it's awkward at first, or out of character for you, the end benefits are worth it.
if you're not serious about her. Leave her now so she can get on with her life. As tough a decision as that is, it would be more cruel to string her along and take away her opportunity to be happy elsewhere.
- MrT0
Also been in this situation. I found there's nothing you can say to change how they feel. Agree above with exercise and getting outside - just drag her along even though she says she doesn't feel like it (you never do when you're down). Basically make sure she's living outside her head, quiet time alone is when it festers.
- nb0
I agree: If you feel depressed, force yourself to do some hard exercise. It works so well.
- yurimon0
Did she get this way before or after meds and visiting the rapist?
- that was a typo right?ohhhhhsnap
- the - rapist
the-rapist
therapist.yurimon
- ohhhhhsnap0
I have been in your shoes. Do you feel as though your relationship at any point has been interdependent?
Exercise, community and more time spent were suggested but being in a serious depression may make you not even want to leave the house.
This has worked for a few friends of mine (I also take e3live every now and again and do feel the boost; it's like spirulina but 100x's): http://www.e3live.com/, also VitaminD might help- SHORT TERM while she waits for her meds?
- laughter. super important.ohhhhhsnap
- Something to look into because most vitamin D is synthetic.
http://www.fungi.com…yurimon - shitaki mushroom recommended from personal experience.yurimon
- Have her ask her doc first: VitD in tincture http://www.luckyvita…ohhhhhsnap
- the liquid ones? you referring to?yurimon
- yeah yuriohhhhhsnap
- when i posted this... i didn't consider the option of you leaving. hold on brother. unless you're sure sure... like sea said...ohhhhhsnap
- said, do it now.ohhhhhsnap
- yurimon0
^ to add to your comment... Niacin and B3 as matter of research.
- Dr. abram hoffer was original discoverer of its use in depression in 1950's research.yurimon
- right about the B and Niacin, my pops was recently depressed, that worked for him, like a charmmoldero
- interesting...ohhhhhsnap
- no way, he's sellling a book all about it. Excellent!!Ianbolton
- i_monk0
Get her pregnant, it'll give her something to focus on.
- √ +
Though some chicks go crazy post birth 3 fold.yurimon - wow. spoke like a true redneck.sea_sea
- hahamoldero
- post birth depression. it a medical condition. I seen it happen to 3 guys I know.
Perfect befo- crazy after.yurimon - look it up. sea_sea. You suffering from Post woman PC brainwashing? lolyurimon
- It's called postpartum depression.i_monk
- dude i'm not talking about ppd i'm talking about your "get her pregnant comment." sorry to break it to ya, that's pretty rednecky, like a child will come to fix things? quite the opposite if you ask me. he needs to work on his relationship before he can even contemplate a child.sea_sea
- rednecky, like a child will come to fix things? quite the opposite if you ask me. he needs to work on his relationship before he can even contemplate a childsea_sea
- can even contemplate a child. and everyone needs to chill the eff out and stop taking everything personal.sea_sea
- LOL coming from i_monk.pango
- i think i_monk was joking. kind of a rotten crack but typical ;)ohhhhhsnap
- i'm sure i_monk was joking, as was i to begin with. but coming from a gay guy, it did sound plenty sexist. just sayin.sea_sea
- I think you girl are high on testosterone and needs to get to back nature with your nurturing selves. do what you were made to doyurimon
- to do. I was half kiddin. on some thangs. now git. Those oven bellys aint goin to bake themselves.yurimon
- sea_sea, it's pretty typical. sexist misogynist bull. being gay doesn't give him a pass.ohhhhhsnap
- √ +
- ArmandoEstrada0
Scientology.
Seriously though, sounds like she wants to be around her family ad friends. One of those people who find comfort in familiar surroundings. Tell her to go back home and regroup. Its not the job and its not you.
- sea_sea0
what's clear is she doesn't want to go back to work, so maybe help her find a job? a hobby? does she vocalize what would make her happy?
if you're planing on sticking around, then maybe plan a weekend getaway with her? i don't know whatever you guys are into, just make it about you guys.
Why is the mom so insensitive? is this something your gf has done before??
it's never easy to be in a relationship when our dark stuff comes up, all i can say is if you feel she's worth it, it can really take your relationship to a higher level. it's definitely a lot to ask of someone to put up with our crap, so if you're not feeling her, it's better to let her go now. good luck alias.
- < what do you know about girls GIRL?!?!moldero
- ;)moldero
- hey i'm just sayin'!! lolsea_sea
- I think you just confirmed to me that this girl wants to be a housewife and needs to be pregosyurimon
- thanksaliastime
- lol, what's interesting yurimon is that you imply house wives have little to no value. with all due respect, let me remind you your mother was once prego as well. work and/or be a mom, it's a gawdamn full time job.sea_sea
- that your mother was once prego as well. work and/or be a mom, it's a gawdamn full time job.sea_sea
- Not True, I recommend it cause I Value it. Now git that oven baking little missy. put some bread in that oven.yurimon
- if you want to be important and valuable. :)yurimon
- aliastime0
^ The mom earned her Ph.D. while being a single mother working full-time. She's no slacker. She also plays a big role in my girlfriend's support system (emotional, financial, etc.).
I think she just doesn't see what her daughter has to be depressed about.
- yea, i get it, and she's probably right. sometimes we stress over things we make up in our own head.sea_sea