How should I handle this?
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- BozMan
Ok, well I've seen a few qbners ask for advice now and then regarding personal matters so I'd like to try my hand at this.
So i dated this girl for about 4 years. the break up was civil but turned ugly. We've been separated for about 3 years now. I haven't spoken to her or anything. A good buddy of mine brings it to my attention that another good friend has been chatting and hanging out with her. Now this "buddy" I've known forever. He's somewhat of a womanizer and lets just say he sleeps around with a lot of chicks whether they are a 2 or 10 (he should get tested). He has not told me he's been hanging out with her or anything. And with the wonderful world of facespace i can clearly see they've been chatting and its only been recent. There was a near miss where i could have ran into them at a bar but opted not to go. I can't wait till i run into them becasue it will happen. I know the awkwardness with be hilarious. Part of me cares and thinks its bit effed up but the other part does not becasue I know he'll just get in get off and get out becasue thats his MO. Anyway here's my question. Is he a good friend? If it was your buddy's Ex that he dated for years would you mess around with her without at least saying something first?
- mikotondria30
mm.... More than likely they'll feel far more awkward than you at any chance meeting, if they don't feel awkward then you're all so different that you can't really ever hope to be proper friends with them. If he knows shes a twat and wants to pursue it then that's his outlook - he's a big boy. You don't want her, so why would he involve your feelings from 3 years ago in it ? If you still like her, then, sorry, it's his go now.
Life's short, people die early, happiness is fleeting - let people do what they want and you do what you want, you'll be old in a minute with only your regrets, medicines and tv, they'll be fine, let them fight and fuck if they want, you don't owe either of them the indignity of interference.
- registe0
Leave her alone, stalker.
- prophetone0
if it's been three years of radio silence why is this even on your radar?
- GeorgesII0
I think the stupidest thing to come out of hollywood is bro before hoes,
she's not your property, your story is done, get over it,
I don't get why your friend couldn't date her (womanizer or no),don't care about it, it will make you feel better,
- BozMan0
Well of course I loved her back then but wouldn't you say something like hey dude I'm seeing so an so instead of finding out through other channels. I dunno I know I would but i guess thats just me. Oh well.
- BozMan0
I'm being completely honest i really don't care but this guy is a best friend and he has always been like Bro before hoes bullshit. Like i said I just imagine your best friend would at least say something. especially since it will be awkward for them. Basically what im getting at to at at least avoid a "WTF moment"
- Maybe they're not sure if it's going anywhere and don't want to notify you for no reasonlocustsloth
- people who claim anything (in this case "bros b4 hos") are in fact, usually the opposite of their claims.ben_
- But I still think you should forget about it.ben_
- Miesfan0
This needs more Helvetica. Or Brothers, perhaps.
- monospaced0
Well, three years of no contact with her...I think he has the right to chat it up with her on Facebook and hang out. If he's banging her, or plans to, and he is your best friend, then he should let you know.
You also shouldn't look forward to running into them and the ensuing awkwardness. I would avoid that. Keep moving on.
- fuck that. he was with her for 4 years. he aint a friend if he drudges that shit back into your life.inteliboy
- exactly, the "friend" should be forthcoming, like I saidmonospaced
- inteliboy0
Your buddy should not be fucking with your history. I hate shit like this.
- duhsign0
let it go. don't hang out with manwhores. done.
- Continuity0
Well, Boz, the fact that you're telling this story to us shows you _do_ care, if only a little bit, despite your protestations to the contrary.
That said, you're going to have to suck this one up. Like Georges said, they're both adults and can do what they want, you're ancient history in her life now.
Sucks, but that's the way it.
- BozMan0
I dont care for her I care about my relationship with him though. Thats whats important simply becasue hes the type of person that gets pissed if you date a friend of his. But I appreciate the advice dudes, moving on.
- if he gets pissed, so can you. but make sure they are doing stuff before you get pissed.capn_ron
- mightyj0
Thought of this after reading your first post:
- ifeltdave0
unless this girl was "the love of your life" or "the one who got away" AND the dude is basically your best friend.. I don't think he's doing anything wrong.
maybe he could have given you a heads up he was involved with her, but really he doesn't owe it to you.
three years is a long time. just move on, I say.
- BozMan0
^^^ HAHAHA you see if he did this first I'd be fine with it. Unless he just wants to bang her move and and hope I didnt hear about it which I'm sure is the case I'm still fine with it. He hasnt dated anyone since 2002.
- i_monk0
Set it on fire.
- Continuity0
You can't control the situation; you can only control your reactions to it. Best to keep your head held high and move on, mate.
- BozMan0
^thats what i intend to do.