Crit please
- Started
- Last post
- 15 Responses
- ********
my first foray into 3d/motion, looking for independent opinions. i see tons of minor issues that i´d liked to have fixed before delivery but couldn´t.
brief called for staging of the product, presentation of a given range of product features, must haves: emphasis on outdoor use, fast-paced, "popping" style. more emotional than informational.
don´t hold back, thanks.
- forcetwelve0
i'd buy one.
- dbloc0
looks cool to me......there is a lot of spinning going on.
- monospaced0
There are many elements that work great, but it's altogether too long. To many fly-arounds in the beginning. One will do; go straight to outdoor setting. It's enough to point out the Auxillary input, no need to mention MP3 player. Stuff like that will help keep it more concise.
Quickly move from feature to feature. The whole thing shouldn't last more than 30 seconds.
- gabe0
quite nice, especially for your first 3d/motion piece.
i think overall the pacing can get cranked up. seems like 25% faster all around might be a good speed. right now it's almost as if you're watching it in slow motion...
- ********0
For your first motion piece, it's surprisingly refined. I'm scared to see what you're making this time next year.
- word...with some enhanced atmospheric/lighting it could really go to the next levelmonospaced
- sureshot0
thats really nice! especially for your first 3D piece.
- NONEIS0
I would drop the rounded iPhone like icons unless they are a required element / part of the branding, and compress the crank power move into just the final animation where it's turning, I don't think spending the time to show the arm swinging out is that important.
- luckyorphan0
Excellent work.
I'm not sure if this is in the file, but my playback had some hiccups. Perhaps it was on my machine, but the spot seems to 'stick' here and there. Is that intentional? If so, I'd remove it. I felt the need to check my machine to make sure its RAM is not overtaxed.
Otherwise, I'd agree with mono and gabe. This could be edited way down. But then again, we don't necessarily know the purpose. Perhaps there's a long voice-over that this is being created for. But if not, yeh chop it up.
Very nice work, tho.
- < The 'Battery Low' shot could be cut down by 2/3, for instance.luckyorphan
- soynutz70
Man, i'm dizzy. nice work. Like Mono said a little tweaking with the lighting and it would really bump it up a notch.
- PonyBoy0
will it cook me dinner?
- WeLoveNoise0
where can i plug the sky into ?
- ********0
thanks all. if anything i was afraid it´s going too fast to understand the product features. too much spinning for sure, probably a good idea to get more diversity in the shots´ pov/timing. and to be fair i´m not a complete 3d noob, following 3d for years now, just never got myself to produce an actual piece before this.
- well, now you know you can trim it down without going over your audience's head.monospaced
- version30
i only wish it looked more real, but rendering options could change that
- gabe0
also, i don't think you need to start the cranking animation or cell phone charging animation from 0%. or, maybe have them progress faster? i think this stems from the overall slow pacing of the entire piece...
