Crit please
Crit please
Out of context: Reply #3
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- monospaced0
There are many elements that work great, but it's altogether too long. To many fly-arounds in the beginning. One will do; go straight to outdoor setting. It's enough to point out the Auxillary input, no need to mention MP3 player. Stuff like that will help keep it more concise.
Quickly move from feature to feature. The whole thing shouldn't last more than 30 seconds.