The Gym
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- DaveO0
My friend was in the sauna of his gym the other day and four guys started wanking themselves off in unison – turns out it's a heavily gay gym and that sauna is the 'cruise' sauna.
- in unison, singing YMCA!!jimzyk
- One does not join the "gay gym" by accident. Just sayin'.TheBlueOne
- oh wowzers. that's really something.Gucci
- ooo which gym? I need me a membership there :)jay_jay
- kult0
- One guy, 40's and flab muscle, asked me to spot him doing bench on a Smith machine. No joke. Was pushing 225 but was only doing 2-inch reps if that, and each rep he'd belt out a noise the whole place could hear. His breath was fucking awful. And as with most old guys like that, he started telling me about his heydays and how he once hauled a 200 pound bag at Penn Station with one hand and popped his shoulder out of socket.. or something like that.
- Where I used to live, there was this grizzled old guy who was about 60, gigantic gray beard, glasses. Would walk around in extremely narrow sleeveless Inzer tees so that his pale man-boobs would hang out. He'd lift a ridiculous amount of weight and be super chatty with everyone. Turns out he was a rabbi from some temple nearby who would do a 1000% transformation as soon as he walked into the gym. One time, though, he was doing barbell military presses... with weight wraps. Needless to say, he failed on a last rep, the barbell came down.. behind him..with his hands wrapped to it. I think he almost killed his spotter.
I could name so many more it's not even funny. Like this one super lanky, very creepy guy who's easily 6'8, completely hairless, comes in every single day wearing these black dress pants, huge black swamp rain-boots that look like they've seen too many dungeons, and this oversized (oversized for a 6'8 person) green polo shirt that he hasn't changed in the last year I've seen him. All he does is hold 10 pound dumbells in his hands, stare menacingly into a concrete wall, and slowly spin them around in the air for an hour every day. I get this weird scary vibe from the guy, but it was compounded by my seeing him one night at a local park, literally standing next to a dingy water fountain holding the button down for like 15 minutes, unmoving, frozen like a statue. I had no idea what he was doing.. and I don't ever want to.
- dirtydesign0
No gym for me. Starting taking Kung Fu.
- That in it itself has it's own set of weird characters...TheBlueOne
- ..like the guy who'll talk for hours about developing his inner chi to blow out candles or some sorta fake shit.TheBlueOne
- cannonball19780
dudes going down on each other in the sauna. i guess being gay doesnt mean you have manners or any sort of class
- jimzyk0
i don't do the gym very often. i tend to just go running cycling & around the mountains.
but i did go this one time in my college years after smoking a load of grass. it was terrible. got really fucked up. not sure what i was thinking. i looked a bit like that guy up there.. ^^^
- drgss0
- 50 year old ex-pro gymnast, who does whole body program every time and is friends with everyone, tells you everything about optimal heart rate
- a bunch of teens who occupy the bench press and train one after another for hours
- some impatient dude who can't sit still in-between sets, keeps walking back and forth like a caged animal
- hahaha. i'm one of those caged animals, unfortunately.Gucci
- CygnusZero40
At my gym there's some women, but its mostly meat head faggots. And a lot of those italian queers with their hair blown back.
- mathinc0
haha I do a lot more conditoning hikes out in the mountains than going to the gym but when I do it's always an experience.
1) Oldish super-tan, super-ripped, gym rat/trainer. I like to do the indoor cycling classes so I can sit in the back row and watch ass the whole time (it's like 8: girl to guy ratio!), cheap thrill. But this guy teaches some of the classes and all he plays are 90's power anthems and says things like 'get aggressive!' I don't think I've ever gone to the gym and not seen this guy there.
2) Mid 40's ex-cheerleader: This girl pops into the cycling class every time for only about 20 minutes, comes in 15 min after it starts, says hi to everyone, rides for 20 minutes, makes a big exit.Shes 5 foot even with big boobs... LOVES all the attention. Whore.
3) The Old Guy Crew, I think these guys just stay in the locker room the whole time. I honestly never see them in the gym. But every time I go to the locker room 50% of the guys in there are at least 60 years old and walking around buck naked. I don't know what the hell they do besides show off their untrimmed cockball manes. Maybe they're just closet molesters and they like the free peepshow?
Of course there is a heavy dose of standard meatheads too, but those guys are like strip club announcers, they're the exact same from place to place, completely interchangeable.
- ceiling_cat0
A group of buffed mexicans who threatens to stab you if you're too close to their territory
- TheBlueOne0
*makes note to go back to the gym so I can contribute to thread
- utopian0
Some 50 year old guy wearing short-shorts up to his ass with a keg style stomach, sweating profusely all over all the gym equipment.
- visionary0
I work out at a YMCA. There's a resident who wanders around the weight room and talks to people. He looks like a rat that has drowned in palm oil. I'm usually able to dodge him but sometimes I'm not so lucky.
- Gucci0
I just recalled another couple of gems.
One guy that scream/swears. He lifts weight that's WAY too heavy for his body type. I mean... dude should really focus on cardio and getting rid of the 5 spare tires around his waist, but I suppose trying hang onto the glory days works for him. Anyhoo, when he's exerting himself he'll say something like "COCKSUCKER" or "MOTHER... {uhhhh-huuuh} ... FUUUUCK" or some such shit like that. It's terribly distracting.
The other guy moans like he's getting head. At the top of a rep he gives out an ever-so-gentle sigh that makes you cringe.
- mg330
I hate the guys who sit around and don't do anything, don't even break a sweat. They think they'll get in shape by osmosis. Meanwhile, I'm busting my ass and sweating up a storm and I get looked weirdly by THEM!
- Point50
I used to be the loud mouth at the gym; but now I'm old and weathered and have to sit back and watch 22 year olds out-lift me on a daily basis.
- visionary0
does the wanking membership cost more?
- kona0
every morning at 5am i'm at the gym with my headphones on and it's the same 30-something, trying too hard to look cool in his under armour shorts, long sleeve tshirts and baseball cap. he's always like "YO BRO WHAT DO YOU GOT TODAY!? I GOT CHEST AND BI'S BRO!" which is pretty much what he lifts every day. i've never seen the dude on any piece of cardio equipment for more than 20 minutes yet walks around like he was one of the extras in the 300 movie. he does the typical douchebag nod to everyone and is like "HIT IT HARD BRO... GO BIG OR GO HOME RIGHT!?" and then randomly will grab a 45lb plate, spin it once in his hands and then re-rack it.
wait a minute. jesus god. i've just described myself somehow by mistake. OH GOD NO I'M THAT GUY OH JESUS.... *runs off crying paying special attention to watch himself in windows and mirrors as i run past them to make sure i have good form and look good* OH WHAT THE FUCK I'M DOING IT AGAIN AHHHHHHHHhhhh....
- mg330
Kona - you owe it to this thread and any new people here to repost that great story about what you "overheard" while pretending that you were still listening to your ipod when the battery died... Classic awesomeness!