The Gym
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- kirshar120
Back in college, there was an older guy that worked out at the campus gym who was a spitting image of Johnny Bravo (the cartoon), only with dark hair, he always had on his Rex-Kwon-Do workout pants and on every single exercise he did, he would yell loud enough to bring the entire gym to a halt.....
- back in '82 i could have taken state. no doubt in my mind.7point34
- Gucci0
I just recalled another couple of gems.
One guy that scream/swears. He lifts weight that's WAY too heavy for his body type. I mean... dude should really focus on cardio and getting rid of the 5 spare tires around his waist, but I suppose trying hang onto the glory days works for him. Anyhoo, when he's exerting himself he'll say something like "COCKSUCKER" or "MOTHER... {uhhhh-huuuh} ... FUUUUCK" or some such shit like that. It's terribly distracting.
The other guy moans like he's getting head. At the top of a rep he gives out an ever-so-gentle sigh that makes you cringe.
- ceiling_cat0
i dun likez it wen peepl tryz to tauk teh me wen i haz no pantz ohn
- ahahahahaa.... just made me spit out teanicole_marie
- are u the real ceiling catrzrffglyr
- lolz, I amzceiling_cat
- sweeeetrzrffglyr
- mg330
I hate the guys who sit around and don't do anything, don't even break a sweat. They think they'll get in shape by osmosis. Meanwhile, I'm busting my ass and sweating up a storm and I get looked weirdly by THEM!
- CyBrain0
Old Orthodox Jewish women who are regulars and loooove to talk talk talk.
- kirshar120
the young country lad who, after two rounds on the bench press, is convinced that he needs the 'roids to get stronger and proceeds to ask all the "in shape" looking guys around the gym where he can acquire such wonderment..........
or is that just at my gym?
- jay_jay0
I saw the funniest dude a few weeks back, he looked a bit odd to begin anyway but then he started doing some mad shapes, like his own style yoga or sum shit, funny as, wish I had it recorded to show u now. He was doing this in the free weights room, totally distracting, but made me smile.
- ceiling_cat0
I like to pole vault over the chin up bars
- MSTRPLN0
That fat guy on the treadmill who does not believe in the wonderment of deodorant.
- jimzyk0
The fat guy on the treadmill with his pants slowly slipping down.
- DaveO0
My friend was in the sauna of his gym the other day and four guys started wanking themselves off in unison – turns out it's a heavily gay gym and that sauna is the 'cruise' sauna.
- in unison, singing YMCA!!jimzyk
- One does not join the "gay gym" by accident. Just sayin'.TheBlueOne
- oh wowzers. that's really something.Gucci
- ooo which gym? I need me a membership there :)jay_jay
- Point50
I used to be the loud mouth at the gym; but now I'm old and weathered and have to sit back and watch 22 year olds out-lift me on a daily basis.
- visionary0
does the wanking membership cost more?
- kult0
- One guy, 40's and flab muscle, asked me to spot him doing bench on a Smith machine. No joke. Was pushing 225 but was only doing 2-inch reps if that, and each rep he'd belt out a noise the whole place could hear. His breath was fucking awful. And as with most old guys like that, he started telling me about his heydays and how he once hauled a 200 pound bag at Penn Station with one hand and popped his shoulder out of socket.. or something like that.
- Where I used to live, there was this grizzled old guy who was about 60, gigantic gray beard, glasses. Would walk around in extremely narrow sleeveless Inzer tees so that his pale man-boobs would hang out. He'd lift a ridiculous amount of weight and be super chatty with everyone. Turns out he was a rabbi from some temple nearby who would do a 1000% transformation as soon as he walked into the gym. One time, though, he was doing barbell military presses... with weight wraps. Needless to say, he failed on a last rep, the barbell came down.. behind him..with his hands wrapped to it. I think he almost killed his spotter.
I could name so many more it's not even funny. Like this one super lanky, very creepy guy who's easily 6'8, completely hairless, comes in every single day wearing these black dress pants, huge black swamp rain-boots that look like they've seen too many dungeons, and this oversized (oversized for a 6'8 person) green polo shirt that he hasn't changed in the last year I've seen him. All he does is hold 10 pound dumbells in his hands, stare menacingly into a concrete wall, and slowly spin them around in the air for an hour every day. I get this weird scary vibe from the guy, but it was compounded by my seeing him one night at a local park, literally standing next to a dingy water fountain holding the button down for like 15 minutes, unmoving, frozen like a statue. I had no idea what he was doing.. and I don't ever want to.
- rzrffglyr0
I haven't seen much out of the ordinary at the gym I go to now, but I used to be a member at the Y and there were definitely some screamer fellas. And then all the jr-high/high school kids that would just go stand near the equipment and talk macho with each other, holding shit up, while they all seemed to weigh about 100 pounds each.
- dirtydesign0
No gym for me. Starting taking Kung Fu.
- That in it itself has it's own set of weird characters...TheBlueOne
- ..like the guy who'll talk for hours about developing his inner chi to blow out candles or some sorta fake shit.TheBlueOne
- kona0
every morning at 5am i'm at the gym with my headphones on and it's the same 30-something, trying too hard to look cool in his under armour shorts, long sleeve tshirts and baseball cap. he's always like "YO BRO WHAT DO YOU GOT TODAY!? I GOT CHEST AND BI'S BRO!" which is pretty much what he lifts every day. i've never seen the dude on any piece of cardio equipment for more than 20 minutes yet walks around like he was one of the extras in the 300 movie. he does the typical douchebag nod to everyone and is like "HIT IT HARD BRO... GO BIG OR GO HOME RIGHT!?" and then randomly will grab a 45lb plate, spin it once in his hands and then re-rack it.
wait a minute. jesus god. i've just described myself somehow by mistake. OH GOD NO I'M THAT GUY OH JESUS.... *runs off crying paying special attention to watch himself in windows and mirrors as i run past them to make sure i have good form and look good* OH WHAT THE FUCK I'M DOING IT AGAIN AHHHHHHHHhhhh....
- cannonball19780
dudes going down on each other in the sauna. i guess being gay doesnt mean you have manners or any sort of class