excuses
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- ukit
Dragging yourself to the office everyday is one of the worst parts of a full time job, and I know everyone's "called in sick" every once in the while. What are the best excuses you've used for missing work when you needed a day off?
- Amicus0
My ex used to use her monthly as an excuse, but I'm not sure you can use that one ukit :)
- mayo0
Vertigo, so I couldn't drive and got nauseous when I looked at a screen.
Also when I still had my gallbladder but was having attacks, I could say I was having an attack and so they knew that I could be out for one or two days.
- mg330
I occasionally feel like calling in cozy. One of these days I'll do it.
- elDoctor0
#1 Your neighbor left him faucet on and it partially flooded your apartment. You need to stick around to meet with your landlord and insurance adjuster.
#2 Your wife took off for work and brought your keys so you can't lock the door. I'm going to work from home today!
#3 You're ass is still sore from the hired friend you met with last night?
- airey0
you just killed your next door neighbour and it's going to take time to cut up the pieces in the bathtub for easy disposal.
- elDoctor0
And of course your stomach will be sore the next day from the consumption aspect of the murder. So you might need a couple days
- elDoctor0
Oh you can also use my classic move.
"The night call"
This involves calling your boss the night before or emailing them in the middle of the night "for legitimacy purposes" but allows for an alarm free morning of sleep of self content!
- ukit0
^ haha, finally some good advice. Now I just need a usable excuse...
- monNom0
endometriosis
- Amicus0
A trip to chinatown or the local dodgy takeout resulting in food poisoning...
- elDoctor0
Is that when your upper dorsimus is swollen due to a ubulis infection?
- Amicus0
...or seeing as how you're not too far from Forks maybe just hinting that you're very Thirsty and need to go hunting.
- Amicus0
"the dr said it's not as bad as it sounds, but it was all latin to me and I'm going in for some scans later this morning"
this also works if you need a few days randomly close together.
helps if you are good at forging... (which you should be, right?)
- eg. you are doing interviews for a better job, or you have just met a hot model who likes to spend all day in bed.Amicus
- ukit0
Pretty good for multi day, but then everyone's like "ZOMG, ukit's dying!" The goal here is to deflect attention so that they barely notice I'm gone.
- elDoctor0
the bad sushi gag works every time
- airey0
you were performing a drastic form of self mutilation / masterbation and slipped, leaving you with both arms wrist deep in your own colon and you've dialed work using your only free foot (the left one, this is the important 'god is in the details' moment of the excuse). you will try to make it in later that day but the paramedics were still not there so you're unsure of your availability later.
- utopian0
The stripper that I met last night accidental fell out of a four story window, she is in critical condition and in a coma.
It works everytime...
- zarkonite0
dhiarrea
- ephix0
swine flu