the test
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- Last post
- 25 Responses
- ribit0
What should you bring when asked for fork handles?
- bolus0
make sure you have the right attitude, something like this
- ha! apparently my great-gran used to pull that cue-ball-in-the-stoc... trick during bar brawls...paraselene
- don't tell em that at the test.... you'll beredirected to australiabolus
- or worse... texas!paraselene
- neue75_bold0
don't let them put their fingers in your bum...
- hahabolus
- it's that how you entered the country?bolus
- "dutch costums"bolus
- yes, many Dutch customs are quite strange, but I generally enjoy them...neue75_bold
- Khurram0
When's your test?
- haven't scheduled it yet. prolly october time.paraselene
- U got ages. My sister in law's doing it around that time. g'luck.Khurram
- cheers! :)paraselene
- paraselene0
will that tell me when a woman's property and earnings ceased to automatically become her husband's on marriage?
- early sixties?bolus
- 1882, actually!paraselene
- js mill etc ahabolus
- Raniator0
Just watch this, should be fine.
- Fariska0
Dishwater nerds
- ian0
This has been covered!
http://www.qbn.com/topics/540700…
- moth0
If the milk goes in last, you scorch it, and your tea taste like shite.
Do you use tea-bags detritus? Because if you do, you have no position to uphold in this debate.
- so instead you pour lots of hot water into your tea, thus totally not scorching it?kelpie
- arg! no no no, I don't even drink the stuff, what am I doing??!kelpie
- 'Scorch'? Really? Despite the fact that the tea will have cooled more if you put it in first? Huh.detritus
- Damn you, kelpie.detritus
- Which side of the egg do you break open first?! TO WAR!detritus
- bugger. 'first'? Why would anyone open both sides of the egg up?
*sigh*detritus - I use the powdered sort that comes pre-mixed with milk flakes...
Do I win the tea war then?Spookytim - That depends spooky, did you leave a mountain of fallen enemies at your feet too?ian
- IF you use leaf-tea and a tea pot, you may enter the debate.moth
- kelpie0
Which kind of British do you have to be so they let you stay para? just wondering if I should delete you from my contacts if you prove successful in gaining this official status...
- ' * @ - - a_a - - @ * 'detritus
- I speak not your strange code, nairnkelpie
- Nor me yours.
Though, I am feeling quite stupid today.detritus - I was just wondering what fantastic national traits Para was being encouraged to adoptkelpie
- wha? which kind of british? delete me from your contacts? is this a trick question?paraselene
- moth0
sleepyfatso.
Tea.
Does the milk go in the cup first?- NO!ian
- what do I win?ian
- well Moth, that's us truly screwed if the Irish can pass the test. hell in a hand basket.kelpie
- he didn't pass.
The correct reply was YES.moth - *shuns moth utterly*detritus
- ok, lets not get into this black hole of chat again. Pleasekelpie
- lol @ kelpie.ian
- you know us irish, get 1 person in first, next time you look theres 40 scruffy backpackers sleeping on your floor.ian
- sleepyfatso0
I took it, it was easy. I was finished it in about 15 minutes. You'll need to get the book and a practice test book though. Ask me any questions you want.
- cool. the more i look into it, the easier it seems. you've got like 3 minutes per question!paraselene
- bolus0
i wonder how many americans fail at the language test
- erm... we don't have to take a language test.paraselene
- lucky you :)bolus
- detritus0
Clicking on 'New to computers?' should lead to *DO NOT PANIC! You have InstaFailed: Do not move, the authorities have been contacted and an extraction team sent to the location of your triangulated internode** and then Tom Cruise and a bunch of spider Scientologists would roll up in carbon fibre-clad Morris Minors to whisk the offending neo-luddite miscreant to the exImmigrant ballistic trebuchet facility on the south west coast, whereby they'd be shot in which ever direction their sorry technophobe ass came from. Hell, i've turned into hydroglyph.
- moth0
Why do you have to take it?
I thought the whole getting hitched bit nullified all this crap?And besides - you're an American. You're not a real immigrant...
- //moth
- i am on a probationary spousal visa, which is going to expire. once that happens, i either have to naturalise or apply for indefinite leave to remain.paraselene
- ... indefinite leave to remain. either way, test i must.paraselene
- Fariska0
and point out that beer is the best beverage in the world.
- Spookytim0
You'll be fine as long as your answers remain polite and reasonable but remain uterly evasive and non-commital. Tell them your name and nothing more.
Christmas Pudding? Quote from the anarchist's cookbook... play them at their own game.
The Beatles? Just write REVOLUTION in red ink. Upside down and backward, so they have to read it in a mirror.
The question about parliamentary debate is easy, just write "My People On Judgement Day" then do a doodle of some dynamite with a lit fuse.
Also, don't bother trying to deny you sometimes enjoy anti-establishment fantasies. Everybody does. Trying to hide this merely reveals you consider the fantasies to be significant and credible.
- hahaneue75_bold
- too bad it's computer-based... i could just doodle on the screen, i suppose.paraselene
- bolus0
"which swiss tennis player won wimbledon this year"
they can scrap that question....