the test
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- 25 Responses
- chossy0
Oh my god!! you do realise that if you fail you get shot from a cannon back across the water to Americania land.
- Raniator0
There is a question about The Beatles in there... get listening.
- Raniator0
That is no joke. It's full of loads of random shit like that. For real, yo.
- paraselene0
i've not been doing particularly well on the test runs. i know the ingredients of christmas pudding and when the gunpowder plot was and load of beatles lyrics, but the weird governmental process questions keep tripping me up...
"Who gets a guaranteed amount of time in Parliament to debate matters of its own choice?"
eh?
- Kuz?neue75_bold
- fat tory backbenchers?bolus
- the prime minister - every wednesday.... (at 12)rupedixon
- aha. thanks.paraselene
- bolus0
"which swiss tennis player won wimbledon this year"
they can scrap that question....
- Spookytim0
You'll be fine as long as your answers remain polite and reasonable but remain uterly evasive and non-commital. Tell them your name and nothing more.
Christmas Pudding? Quote from the anarchist's cookbook... play them at their own game.
The Beatles? Just write REVOLUTION in red ink. Upside down and backward, so they have to read it in a mirror.
The question about parliamentary debate is easy, just write "My People On Judgement Day" then do a doodle of some dynamite with a lit fuse.
Also, don't bother trying to deny you sometimes enjoy anti-establishment fantasies. Everybody does. Trying to hide this merely reveals you consider the fantasies to be significant and credible.
- hahaneue75_bold
- too bad it's computer-based... i could just doodle on the screen, i suppose.paraselene
- Fariska0
and point out that beer is the best beverage in the world.
- moth0
Why do you have to take it?
I thought the whole getting hitched bit nullified all this crap?And besides - you're an American. You're not a real immigrant...
- //moth
- i am on a probationary spousal visa, which is going to expire. once that happens, i either have to naturalise or apply for indefinite leave to remain.paraselene
- ... indefinite leave to remain. either way, test i must.paraselene
- detritus0
Clicking on 'New to computers?' should lead to *DO NOT PANIC! You have InstaFailed: Do not move, the authorities have been contacted and an extraction team sent to the location of your triangulated internode** and then Tom Cruise and a bunch of spider Scientologists would roll up in carbon fibre-clad Morris Minors to whisk the offending neo-luddite miscreant to the exImmigrant ballistic trebuchet facility on the south west coast, whereby they'd be shot in which ever direction their sorry technophobe ass came from. Hell, i've turned into hydroglyph.
- bolus0
i wonder how many americans fail at the language test
- erm... we don't have to take a language test.paraselene
- lucky you :)bolus
- sleepyfatso0
I took it, it was easy. I was finished it in about 15 minutes. You'll need to get the book and a practice test book though. Ask me any questions you want.
- cool. the more i look into it, the easier it seems. you've got like 3 minutes per question!paraselene
- moth0
sleepyfatso.
Tea.
Does the milk go in the cup first?- NO!ian
- what do I win?ian
- well Moth, that's us truly screwed if the Irish can pass the test. hell in a hand basket.kelpie
- he didn't pass.
The correct reply was YES.moth - *shuns moth utterly*detritus
- ok, lets not get into this black hole of chat again. Pleasekelpie
- lol @ kelpie.ian
- you know us irish, get 1 person in first, next time you look theres 40 scruffy backpackers sleeping on your floor.ian
- kelpie0
Which kind of British do you have to be so they let you stay para? just wondering if I should delete you from my contacts if you prove successful in gaining this official status...
- ' * @ - - a_a - - @ * 'detritus
- I speak not your strange code, nairnkelpie
- Nor me yours.
Though, I am feeling quite stupid today.detritus - I was just wondering what fantastic national traits Para was being encouraged to adoptkelpie
- wha? which kind of british? delete me from your contacts? is this a trick question?paraselene
- moth0
If the milk goes in last, you scorch it, and your tea taste like shite.
Do you use tea-bags detritus? Because if you do, you have no position to uphold in this debate.
- so instead you pour lots of hot water into your tea, thus totally not scorching it?kelpie
- arg! no no no, I don't even drink the stuff, what am I doing??!kelpie
- 'Scorch'? Really? Despite the fact that the tea will have cooled more if you put it in first? Huh.detritus
- Damn you, kelpie.detritus
- Which side of the egg do you break open first?! TO WAR!detritus
- bugger. 'first'? Why would anyone open both sides of the egg up?
*sigh*detritus - I use the powdered sort that comes pre-mixed with milk flakes...
Do I win the tea war then?Spookytim - That depends spooky, did you leave a mountain of fallen enemies at your feet too?ian
- IF you use leaf-tea and a tea pot, you may enter the debate.moth
- ian0
This has been covered!
http://www.qbn.com/topics/540700…
- Fariska0
Dishwater nerds
- Raniator0
Just watch this, should be fine.