Sword.
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- 39 Responses
- TheBlueOne
My brother just called me.
Me: "Hello."
Him: "Hey. I just bought a sword."
Me: "A what?"
Him: "A sword. You know SWORD. Long, sharp pointy thing. A sword."
Me: "What?"
Him: "A swor..."
Me: "I know what the fuck a sword is. Why did you buy a sword?"
Him: "You know a katana..."
Me: "I know what a katana is. WHy the fuck did you buy one?"
Him: "You know, for home defense..."
Me: "And where did you buy this thing?"
Him: "Online..some site called swordsdirect.com or something..."
Me: "Dude, those swords are crap. It'll more likely break than hurt someone..."
Him: "It'll cut you! It's like $150 or something. That's a good price..."
Me: "Is this some sort of April Fool's thing..?"
Him: "No. It's a sword..."
Me: "Alright.OK."
<strange silence>
Me: "Well, I'll call you later then..."
Him: "OK. Later."
- Spookytim0
A 150$ Katana isn't going to make it's way through an uncooked sausage without needing some reformation on the side.
- OTHER. OTHER SIDE.
FUCKING MISSING WORDS.
I AM SO ANGRY TODAY.Spookytim - Exactly.TheBlueOne
- this is euphemism for circumcision?7point34
- OTHER. OTHER SIDE.
- TheBlueOne0
- hahahahahaha
I had no idea the shopping channel was so entertaining.gadg3tg1rl - lol! That'll sell it for you, 'eh?blaw
- I love that clip.harlequino
- FUCK, YOU BEAT ME TO IT.********
- Giggles..=)
Mishga
- hahahahahaha
- blaw0
Flying in the face of the angry masses, I still recommend a dog and a shotgun for home protection. A sword, regardless of the quality, would not be my first choice. Likely, not in the top five.
- does the dog carry the shotgun or is it afixed to the dog in some way?7point34
- Dude, I would NOT trust a dog to know what to do with a shotgun. Phooo!Spookytim
- More of a "don't come in here" and "hey, dummy, wake up" role.blaw
- fires when tail wags....oh boy.tasty
- Astute observations. Never trust firearms to anything that eats its own feces.blaw
- If fact, that rule alone could end the gun control debate once and for all.blaw
- could the gun be modified to fire dogs into the face of attackers? like some sort of dog gun7point34
- please understand that i dont mean a gun to kill dogs but a gun instead that creates projectile dogs7point34
- You'd need an RPG and a house full of chihuahuas.blaw
- I may have been off base with my initial recommendation. Perhaps a monkey with a box-cutter would be better.blaw
- How about a dog with bees in it's mouth and when he barks he shoots bees?fugged
- QBN award for best fucking ever side notes. "So funny I choked up my scrotum"
- FD Roosevelt, yesterday.Spookytim
- YAYPaul0
He want's to get himself a carbon steel, forged, bambo tested katana.
That's the shit you use for Iaido, much better than a 220 'shatter on contact' display POS.
- kult0
With a $150 katana, you're not going to cut anything, but you'll absolutely be able to swing it like a bat for maximum blunt-force trauma. Then the plastic handle will break.
- BWAHAHAHASpookytim
- And the blade will fly out and almost kill your little sister. Not talking from experience here or anything.scrap_paper
- scrap_paper0
Tell your brother to keep that thing on the wall or in a closet unless he knows how to use the damn thing. Even them tell him to put it away. He'll end up cutting something off that he wants to keep attached.
Little Anecdote:
A number of years ago I brought a work colleague to my Kali class (Filipino Martial Arts). Dealing with edged weapons is a big part Kali. Two weeks later this bonehead comes into work with a huge bandage on his hand that he can quite open and close properly anymore.
I asked him "Dude, did you get into a fight or something? What the hell happened?". He was apparenlty showing off the basic drills he "learned" in the first two weeks of class to a buddy of his using a pair of steak knives. He ended up severing almost three ligaments in his left hand and will probably have nerve damage the rest of his life.
Fuckin dumb dumb.
- Spookytim0
Hey Blue One, Invite your brother along to review our reviews of hsi sword. See what he says about it.
0 <
U
- CALLES0
or is your brother more among this lines?
- Years later this kid still makes me piss myselfscrap_paper
- i knoeCALLES
- TheBlueOne0
He just emailed me and said this is the one he got:
http://www.swordsdirect.com/func…
POS but he won't believe me...
- hahaha functional... thats like calling it credible... i am whelmed!7point34
- bu.. bu.. it's 'Battle Ready'?detritus
- battle ready and fully functional- just like me!flashbender
- CALLES0
do me a favor and either consume/take away all the alcohol from your brother's house... and avoid speaking about politics religion or any other stupid theme that people are passionate or something... like sports teams and stuff
- scrap_paper0
Look like little more than a fance machete to me. Also, if you are looking to purchase an authentically forged Katana you are looking to spend about $5000 USD.
You can sharpen any metal club and call it a sword.
- OSFA0
For home defense? hahaha, what if the burglar has a gun?
*cues KillBill theme song....
- For close quarters knife is better. Hands down. To hell with the sword thoughscrap_paper
- 23kon0
its not a sword, a shotgun or a dog that is the perfect home defense.
get yourself a huge fat chick thats hard as nails and aint afraid of anyc*nt.
laugh as you watch burglars cry as she rips their nuts off rather than accidentally gettin your sword caught up in your curtains or shooting your kids with the shotgun or the dog mauling them one day.
- seed0
What are the specs of a good sword other than price?
- Sep0
Hmm, I think I would get this one:
http://www.swordsdirect.com/hell…- If that thing is really sharp, my arm would be gone in about 3 minutes...Sep
- flashbender0
You pull this on an intruder and he will freak the fuck out.
http://www.swordsdirect.com/swor…
(Especially if you are wearing only a loin cloth)
- frost2150
screw the sword...get an axe or a spear so u can easily throw it at some ones face!
http://www.swordsdirect.com/halb…
