Hahahaha I;'m funny
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- 62 Responses
- ********0
how do you make a dead dog float?
half dead dog, half ice cream.
- emecks0
did you hear about little Billy finding $20 on the railway track??
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he was chuffed to bits.
- Concrete0
What's yellow and lives off of dead beatles?
Yoko Ono
- Raniator0
Anyone notice how the jokes posted by 'UK' dwellers are funny, and the 'others' are not...
Great Britain: capital of comedy, since forever.
- Jaline0
Says a guy from the UK.
- gramme0
A guy walks into a bar and says "Ouch".
- 7point340
what do a duck and a bicycle have in common?
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the both have handlebars, except the duck
- ********0
whats worse than biting into an apple and a worm in it?
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cancer.
- emecks0
Guy walks into a bakers and says: "one of your finest Steak and Kidley pies please"
Baker: "You mean Steak and Kidney?"
Guy: "Aye, that's what I said"
Baker: "You said Steak and Kidley"
Guy: "No I didley".
- chossy0
his guy is sitting in his house watching telly and enjoying a lovely sandwich.
he hears a small faint tap on the front door
he goes to the door opens it sees nothing then he hears a little voice from below saying hiya down here
he looks down to see a cute wee snail
the snail says can I come in for some lettuce please?
the guy picks up the snail and fucking boots it across the road and way over the bushes into a park.
he goes back to his lovely sandwich
about six months later he hears a kock on the door he goes to it and he sees the same snail beneath him
the snail says what did you do that for.
- Raniator0
Two guys chatting in a pub...
Bloke 1: "See all these women in here, I could have any of them, no problem".
Bloke 2: "Hmmm... that's quite a bold statement, are you sure?". Bloke 1: "Yeah, easy, any of them, guarantee it".
Bloke 2 "That's a pretty bold statement, how? Prove it?"--
Bloke 1: "Because I'm a rapist".
- ********0
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
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I can't jelly my dick into a dead baby's ass!HIGH-OHH!!!!!!!
- YAY!kelpie
- hahaharlequino
- I knew this was you before I read your name, hahaJaline
- I've just spat water all over my new keyboard!Concrete
- hhaha, wakka wakka!! :D********
- Raniator0
99% of women kiss with their eyes shut...
...which is why it's so hard to identify rapists...
- JackRyan0
A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Is that a ships wheel in your pants." The pirates answered, "Argh, and it's drivin' me nuts."
- chossy0
stop with the rape jokes
- thumb_screws0
Look away now
What kind of file do you use to make a holw this big "o" this big "O"
a peadophile
...sorry
- ********0
A drowsy fatigued voice calls the hotel's receptionist at 1 am: "Please... what - are... the openin... hours for the Bar?"
"The Bar opens at noon, sir", clerk says
Two hours same call: "Hello. It's me again. Hello, when does the B-ar open, hmmm...?"
"Sir, I've told you: Bar opens at noon."
Two hours later: "Lo--ok here you farse-hol, open the Bar now and let me get out of here."
- ********0
did you here about the phalidomide porn star?
he had an arm like a babies cock.