How to pretend you are working.
Out of context: Reply #33
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- flavorful0
Usually when I smile at people and they don't smile back ... I think something must be horribly wrong with them.
Because I have the greatest smile in the world, and light up every room, hallway, cube, office I walk into with my charm.
I would probably tease you about not smiling if I worked with you, but in a more flattering way than your current coworker.
I'd be all like, "Seriously, you can't even crack a smile for me? What is your heart made of coal? Look at me when I am talking to you G-d damn it. You see this face? You smile when you see it. I bring joy to the world, and all I ask is for you to respect me as such in kind. For fuck's sake, seeing me is probably the bright spot of your day inside of work and outside so do me the fucking common courtesy of acknowledging the fact. You know what don't smile at me, your teeth are probably horrid. That is the only reason I can think why you are not smiling, because I would probably be horrified. So I thank you for not making me vomit perfously from your wretched smile. However, starting now - you do not look me in the eyes. You have lost that privilege."
But I would say it in a funny way so that you would think I was joking, and hopefully get a chuckle or grin out of whoever I was saying that diatribe to.
But it would be based in truth.
Truth to me and my grossly over sized and unwarranted ego, haha.