how to lose a girl in 10 steps.
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- ********0
buy a $5000 camera, a $2000 lens and then claim poverty as a reason not to do anything
- _salisae_0
my job has become the overly emotional, moody, penis obsessed and excessively needy boyfriend i broke up with years ago.
:(
- mg330
On a first date, tell her "You know what? I think it's best if we just be honest about things to get to know each other. So, I'll tell you something about me: I masturbate, alot."
That actually happened to a coworker. Swear to God.
- CALLES0
start imitating Napoleon Dynamite and Nacho Libre All the time
- ********0
get her pregnant then go on "vacation".
Return without.
Then hold a press conference vowing to find the killer.
- ********0
I'm embittered, needy and uncommunicative--how's that for a winning trifecta?
- OSFA0
sleep with k0na...
- CALLES0
sleept with k0na...
OSFA
(Sep 17 07, 08:27)
- version30
i'd love to hear the definition of penis obsessed and needy as stated by _salisae_
- MrD0
sleept with k0na...
OSFA
(Sep 17 07, 08:27)three some with kona and OSFA
CALLES
(Sep 17 07, 08:28)
- version30
1. buy bat
2. buy duct tape
3. buy area rug
4. buy hacksaw (just in case)
5. buy lye
6. plan fishing trip
7. rent or borrow truck
8. practice lifting and moving 125lbs around
9. call girl
10. schedule intimate dinner
- ********0
introduce her to flavorful...
OSFA
(Sep 17 07, 07:59)hahah, actually this backfires.
Afterwards the girl realizes the egregious error she made by investing any iota of emotion into me, and then will pretty much do anything to get their old boyfriend back.
- ********0
Hahaha a lot of these are great!
- ninjasavant0
Every time you climax yell out "I'm the juggernaut, bitch!" then start giggling and immediately call your best friend and tell him about it.
- ian0
Every time you climax yell out "I'm the juggernaut, bitch!" then start giggling and immediately call your best friend and tell him about it.
ninjasavant
(Sep 17 07, 08:35)Or have your friend in the room videotaping it then high five him and have him shout 'You the man!' after.
- k0na_an0k0
as witnessed friday night:
at a friends house, some random girls show up with a friend of a friend. one of my buddies was hitting on one of the girls all night.
many beers later both he and the girl ended up 'snuggling' on the couch. minutes later he passes out.
then we see him, while passed out, sleep-pick his nose and wipe it in her hair, not once, but twice.
us guys, thought it was the funniest thing ever and all had tears in our eyes.
her friends, not so much. they woke her up and in minutes were gone.
no play for my buddy.
so, short story long, wipe your boogers in her hair.
- ********0
foolproof:
1. pick your nose (if this is not enough, eat the booger)
2. Continuous flatulence.
3. Do not brush your teeth.
4. Fondle her mother.
5. If all else fails, take a crap in the bed while you are both sleeping.
- ********0
hahah kOna, that is great.
I call most girls snot-face.
But that is mostly a reference to 'Drop Dead Fred' that is almost 100% lost on them.
- ********0
You'd think making them say your friends name aloud while in the midst would be a turn off ...
Especially if your friend is fake sleeping in the room ...
Turns out it is just utterly hilarious (for you and your friend).
- ********0
i don't have time to read through all these but has anyone thought of giving her a chili dog?