Dookie
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- Tyrone0
OK check it.
The Doody Dollar.
This is best done outside a nightclub where there are lots of guido assholes. You take a dolaar bill (five if your generous) place a large drop of shit in the middle. Not too big bc it will be seen. Then fold the dollar up and place it on the ground. Hang back with your boys and wait. Someone will come along, grab the dollar without looking and shove it their pocket so no one sees they grabbed the dollar. Then they will feel something mushy on their hand. Here's the best part.....they will take their hand out and for some reason they always smell it. Now they have shit on their hand and in their pocket. Then they will take out the dollar, throw it on the ground ad you get to watch this happen all over again.
I've done it. IIts fucking funny. Juts make sure you're ready to fight if dudes see it was you.
- Guidos from Jersey don't even deserve that. You are a Fecal Felon.CyBrainX
- e-wo0
Tyrone, we've been good girls and boys.
What's #1?
- grayhood0
hahaha, they did that in the CKY video, it was hilarious.
- Tyrone0
they robbed me grayhood. I was doing that shit 10 years ago. Fuckers. I invented the doody dollar.
- ********0
HOW TO POOP AT WORK
CROP DUSTING
When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.FLY BY
The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.ESCAPEE
A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.JAILBREAK
When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.COURTESY FLUSH
The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.WALK OF SHAME
Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER
A colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N)
A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.SAFE HAVENS
A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.TURD BURGLAR
Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.CAMO-COUGH
A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a
WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.ASTAIRE
A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.WATERMELON
A poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.nLHb
(apr 30 04, 15:13)
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:D :D :DLast time I gave birth to a watermelon it almost broke my anus, btw... Huge mutha.
- This is fucking gold!74LEO
- Safe Havens are the best. I always keep a mental record of safe havens in major centres. It comes in handy.********
- nLHb0
- e-wo0
if you're out for revenge,
shit does well packed into a shower head...
- BonSeff0
back in new mexico they use swamp coolers on the roofs. we shat in them a couple times. spreads the stank evenly through out the house
- Tyrone0
I don't care what anyone says, shit is FUNNY.
- grayhood0
i was half way out the door and got handed a brand new project to do tonight, hows that for some shit.
- bent0
If you'd have waited till you got home to blow mud you might have avoided that project.
- mrdobolina0
grayhood, the liquor is calling your name!
- grayhood0
I KNOW, that damn shit screwed me, this is crap-karma for those upper deckers i know it.
this is the first time in a long time i have stood up booze dob. i hope booze will forgive me.
- tfsmag0
i upper decked in "teh ninjaws" bathroom, fuckin pansies deserved it though.
- ********0
- cruddlebub0
turd burglar? thats a name for someone into bumfun...
- 74LEO0
I hate having meetings after lunch. I try to eat light so I'm not digesting too much food during a meeting. Quite a few times I have let out some SBDs. Awful. All of the time though when I eat at my desk when I get up and walk around its like stepping on a duck with each step. I have trained my body not to crap at work but there are a few guys they will come in in the morning and just drop a deuce in there and stink it up. Mostly sales reps who don't have to stick around for the vile aftermath.
the worst part is having a "shart" at work or on the way. Worse then spilling coffee on your shirt on the way in on a Monday.
I now keep a clean change of cloths in my car. I really hate the last minute meetings after you eat a nice burger and fries. I tried one time to pinch it off but I blasted 1 out during a meeting. Everyone acted professional ignored it and we moved on that was a relief... haah haah
This site is awesome. Ive put some of my poop stories on here.
http://www.poopreport.com/Storie…- you really should see a doctor about this; that doesn't seem like a normal way to livemonospaced
- Continuity0
WTF is the point of bumping a seven-year-old thread about having a dump, FFS? Christ.
- popfodders is specialmonospaced
- That's to say the least.Continuity
- Your member name is the answer.CyBrainX
- 74LEO0
heres to a politic free day...so far! keep your hand of that button popfodders!
- tasty0
this album changed my life.
- What were you like before? =DDRIFTMONKEY
- i was a piss man.tasty