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I think it's time we shared our woes about dealing with dumb clients.
[15:35:43] ME:i'd love to make it funky
but there's not time and FAR too much text to make it look nice
[15:35:49] COLLEAGUE: I know
[15:36:28] COLLEAGUE: but I put lots of txt because I knwe you wouldn't have time to work on the design...
[15:36:41] COLLEAGUE:so I thought we needed to fill it with something...
just did something in the demanded 20 minutes and got told it looks boring. So I replied that if she can think of anything I can do to spice it up that'll take less than 2 mins she should let me know. FML
set her office/home/car on fire?
this thread should be renamed "retarded coworkers". i got plenty of those kind of stories.
My client is making me feel like this. Oh, and retarded coworkers/teams aren't helping
Best comment this week.
"Make it full bleed, but keep everything away from the edges."
- maybe they wanted the BG color to bleed?scarabin
- but not the contentscarabin
- dunno.. makes perfect sense to me. unless you take it 100% literally..Projectile
- it does make sense, the source it came from made me take it very literally. ha, wasn't as good as I thought I guess.rodzilla
- maybe they wnated your eyes/brain to bleedmaikel
- I did that 10 years ago for homework, with my eXacto knife.stanislav
- What's sad is that I've had projects go that way.Josev
- What's sad is that I'm now into 5 months of revisions and we haven't really moved very far.monospaced
- Trying to please too many people along the way.monospaced
- unresolved different unspoken goals in client staff = revisions....vaxorcist
- I think we're making progress. And NOW we find out a new brand might be implemented around launch.monospaced
"put the copy on the top of the page by the footer"
"Can you add more red because I've heard red downloads faster"
"i'd love to make it funky"
Funky? Is that a design term? Because I have never heard that before when describing a direction. What does it mean anyways? How DO YOU make something funky? Do you put some gold chains and baggy clothing? Do you design some "strong bass guitar riffs and bass lines"? I mean are you designing something like a cover for DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince? Maybe add some bboy break dance in to it?
- print it with the fresh scent of post gym class socks.Amicus
- ffs it's a french chick who doesn't understand jack!! i gotta speak the funk lingo baby!! lolProjectile
- you remove the counterspaces from large type, duh!monospaced
- My client wanted a design to be more "edgy" and have more "pop". WTF is that supposed to mean?!ediot
- it means they're trying to impress somebody else & they're nervousvaxorcist
- That's easy http://rhythmicsoul.…stanislav
"Can you please rotate the camera angle more in photoshop so we can see more of the car."
After many, many logo ideas/revisions sent to this particular scrotal leech, the bastard client sent me through a logo he had come up with in MSPaint. He then asked me to not bother with presenting any other ideas as this is the one he wanted and could I just 'tidy it up' and send it back to him.
I'm about to go and speak to my Director about ditching the client and invoicing for the hours and hours of work we have already put in. But unfortunately our Director seems to like handing out our work for fuck all.
Client: We have a game being launched in August. Its a desktop app with an integrated web site..
Me: Great.. this is exciting stuff.
Client: We're working 'Agile' style..
Client: we don't believe in Wire Frames..
Client: We don't really have any plans to IA the site.. we like working Agile style..
Client: the backends being done now in Joomla.... Agile syle
Me: Do you realise what working 'Agile' actually involves...
Client: sure, sure... everybody just dives in, and they do the bits they think are the most important..
Client: You seem apprehensive..
Me.. Well.. this has the potential to be a complete disaster..
Client: it's fine, we're working Agile...
Me: But nothing has been planned.. the site is a massive on line game, driven by a desktop app through a social media website and you need it fully IA'd, designed and the front end building in 12 weeks.. I really would have to be Agile to get this done..
Client: are you turning this down..?
Me.. I hate to say it... but this has "Apocalyptic" stamped all over it..
Client.. Thats not the kind of attitude we like to bring to our projects
Me.. I'm just being honest..
Client: I think we'll conclude this meeting..
Me.. I'm just trying to let you know, that I have a lot of experience with this kind of project, and what I'm seeing is a lack of understanding concerning whats actually involved..
Client: Thanks for your time... we'll be in touch..
They actually want me to do it... FAIL.!
- Agile methods generally promote a disciplined project management process that encourages frequent inspection and adaptation, a leadership philosophy that encourages teamwork, self-organization and accountability, a set of engineering best practices intended to allow for rapid delivery of high-quality software, and a business approach that aligns development with customer needs and company goals.vaxorcist
- you mean agile isn't "staffing up" and "encouraging entropy"?
what if one of the monkeys wrote the great american novel?monNom
- ...wrote the great american novel?monNom
jesus Rumper.. do some stretching every morning, take up some kung fu classes and maybe you'll actually be agile enough to MEET the odd client's needs you lazy fuck!! I don't approve of your no-can-do attitude!!!
- i know... i know... my killer moves aren't what they were..RumperChunk
- Fuck that, that sounded like a total pain in the arse job. You need to know when to turn those ones down...rascuache
- good thing you saw it for what it was, that's wisdom right theremonospaced
- it could be a good money earner if they are paying by the hour. Sounds like it'll run about 6-9 months over deadline.Amicus
Presenting wireframes to the client. We are all on the phone, looking at PDF's of wireframes.
Client: Why isnt the text animated on the home page.
Me: Because this is just a wireframe????!?!?!?!?!?
Client: Yes I understand, but cant we make it move or something!
Client: “I would like to have our home page come up with some information in a hockey puck that flies around the screen. I’d like the user to have to chase the puck with a hockey stick for a cursor and whack it to let them in the site.”
Me: “I’m going to do everything in my power to talk you out of doing that.”
FFS doing something for WWE. theywant us to use their pics, so they send 4. only one is mildly usable, with Cena jumping onto someone.. so I build a whole home page background with him jumping down the side, onto a crowd. payoff=catch all the action.
Then I get an email from them saying "sorry we shouldnt have given you that photo." after begging and begging for more pics, and sending them what I have done, they send some model shots of the wrestlers but with their fucking legs cut off!! I need this to go down the side of the page and have them looking like they are jumping! Now I am basically going to have to create something with them just slapped all over the place grinning at you, because their own designer wants all the cool images for himself!!! FML
I just got asked to convert a jpg into an 'esp'... again
CLIENT: Ok can I get the flier artwork please I'm going to take it to the printers now
ME: Sure give me 10 minutes
----- sent over the artwork -----
----- 2 hours later -----
CLIENT: There's something wrong with the flier artwork
ME: Really? What's up?
CLIENT: It's coming out of the printer on two A4 sheets instead of one sheet both sides, what's wrong with it?
ME: Are you printing this yourself?
CLIENT: No my sister is printing it at the office, can you fix it please?
ME: Okay, so the comp is approved, what's next?
CLIENT: Can you Fax me the logo? My email isn't working!
ME: Uh, if you need to see it again, yes, but it will not be in color....
CLIENT: That's okay, but I need it fast, because it's supposed to go on this promotional billboard before lunch... we've been working on this in-house....
There is one semi-legit client issue behind alot of this apparent randomness:
Salespeople need stuff fast and adaptable, marketing people want things to impress other marketing people and are in no hurry except right at the end when salespeople need it NOW...
I used to think salespeople were assholes and idiots until I had to do what they do..... yes, some have ego's, but sales keeps the company afloat and marketing droids just go to meetings.... yes, branding is cool and future vision is good, but most clients are closer to going broke than you think....
SO, a huge amount of the crap designers deal with is due to the above conflict....