Client of the Day
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- set0
Client: Can you please make this banner into a hi-res printable one please? Use the attached.
300x100px photo attached.
100x100px logo attached
- MSTRPLN0
"i need the snowboard measurements because i need to make on for my daughter school project so can you please help me out with this ok"
- genfour0
"make it pop" still hearing that one every single day
and still getting "hey can you do a website/tshirt/logo/etc for me? [for free of course] imagine all the exposure you'll get from this!" about once every couple of weeks
- always got this. especially from friends.zenmasterfoo
- The right answer to the exposure statement: 'Very little of any value, actually.'Continuity
- timeless0
this isn't really a client gripe, but thought I'd put it here instead of starting a new thread - just got job to eval from account exec - eval'd it at 17-20 hrs. No problem.
"oh we can't spend that much time on it - this is due by 4pm."
- nb0
I have a client who constantly mails my cheques to my old address. At first I thought he was lying to buy some time, but last week I went in to pick up the cheque from him.
He showed me a printed page of inkjet labels with my old address (from years ago.) I suggested he throw it out. He said he would. WE WERE IN HIS OFFICE. Garbage and recycling right beside him. I said, "No, I mean you should throw it out RIGHT NOW. It's obviously not useful."
He laughed and said, "Oh I will. Don't worry." But I left his office worried, with the labels still on his desk. I don't really know what to think.
- LOLOLrandommail
- ha, weirdscarabin
- this made me laugh. I don't really know what to think.BrokenHD
- strangenessali
- SteveZissou0
2008:
C*nt client: We got the (HTML) templates but "Mark" said they're rubbish, he can't work with them
Me: What's wrong with them?
C*nt client: He says you've used some daft program, you haven't even used tables
Me: ...
Me: I don't mean to be rude but...(W3C, coding practices etc)
C*nt client: Look, I don't care, just re do them
Me: I can't do that because...
C*nt client: (Interrupts) Look, if you don't re do them, you're not getting paid
Me: Ok...(didn't bother)2011
Dream client: OK great, did you bring an invoice?
Me: No, I'll email you one
Dream client: How much did it come to?
Me: £X
Dream client: Ok, bill me for £Y (X+10%!), I'm really happy with it
Me: Oh...thanks
Dream client: *Smiles
Me: *SmilesPeople reveal their true selves when they're holding the cash...
- bjladams0
just got this 2 min ago:
Ben,
Sorry - I've been out for a few days and am just now looking at the drafts you sent last week. Here are my changes: (lists a handful of changes)p.s. it's important that this is finished and gets out by 3:00 pm today. hope you day is as awesome as mine!
it's 1:30 pm here... i'm in meetings till 5, then drinks/dinner with a client.
everything in me wants to send one back to her that says "Ben is out of the office, but will review your email in a few days, hope you're having an awesome week like i am!"
instead i just told her that i'm in a meeting and will get to it as soon as i can... and sent a paypal link for the additional hours.
- timeless0
me: you're joking about the four word "word cloud" right?
longer than awkward silence: hey there! how are ya'?
client: um, no, we weren't
- bjladams0
a new client just sent thru vector logo, high res pics, dimensions, fonts, and all the copy to be added to the project... they also gave us their budget and timeframe and wanted to know when they can pay... this is all just a bit too much to take in at the moment.
we train our existing clients to provide this kind of assistance, but this is a first for a new client...
- bizarrointeliboy
- thats a keeperset
- she is a winnersherm
- too good to be true. Run away!!
(but give her my details just in case)Projectile
- bjladams0
had a client just ask if we'd be willing to build their website in SharePoint... i don't think that's a road we want to travel.
- monospaced0
Typical situation: I design a piece of collateral and then the copy on it goes through thousands of iterations. What's so fucking annoying is that the client requests a revised PDF for each version, even if it's just a word changing on a postcard. Now, it only takes a minute or so to make the revision, create a PDF and reply with the new attachment, but it's so fucking pointless. The design is the same! Just figure out the copy, and I'll give you the fucking finished product!
- monospaced0
Another client brought me a dozen mini Crumbs cupcakes today for a job well done and for putting up with their shit.
- sherm0
Day 1
Client: You were referred to us by Designer X. Do you have examples of work you have done?Me: Yes. <sends email>
Client: Oh! you have done work for awesome globally recognized fashion design conglomerate? and other subsequently less interesting companies?
Me: Yes. This is true.
Client: Jibber Jabber about project specs.
Day 2
Client: OK we want you to build our site for the fee your proposed.feeMe. No problem. Since its just a minor revamp with CMS (WP) addition I'll let you know if I need any info from you.
Client: Oh by the way, I also need X Y and Z and a shopping cart.
Me: (...) you are only selling one item. I can just create a form that will pass the customer to whatever payment processing gateway you desire. A cart is not necessary and is more overhead than you need currently. When I'm done
Client: cool When can you have it done.
Me: A week from today.
Cleint: Can it be done in a day? I really need it.
Me: No it can not. It can however be done in a week.
Client: OK
Skip a day (3)
Day 4:
Client: I was thinking, can you knock X dollars off the price? We are just starting out and I was thinking your fee is too much.Me: ... (thinks, Should I fire them? but answers...) Well the price is firm and already discounted being that I was referred by Designer X and I work with her frequently. What I can do is accept 2 payments of X or 3 payments of Y... Whatever is more comfortable for you.
Client: Okay but can you get the site done by tomorrow?
Me: (delays email response because it was Sunday to begin with) No. You agreed that it was fine that it was done by X day as originally proposed.
Client: OK fine but I'll be travelling that day and wont have internet access to see the site. Can you have it the day prior?
Me: I will see what I can do. (not changing the date at all as a week is basically a rush and I'm not even charging a rush fee)
- I forgot the tidbit: Do you also design logos?
sherm - I like how you stick to your guns and point out the agreement. It's important.monospaced
- I think they were under the impression that i'm some starving artist. I will fire them in an instant.sherm
- I forgot the tidbit: Do you also design logos?
- CanHasQBN0
I'm so glad I quit my design job. I was really sick of being treated like a bitch by ignorant clients who merely see designers as a blunt tool to execute their crappy ideas. In no other industry are college-educated professionals treated so much like children. There's barely any respect or trust in what we do for a living.
And for some reason, clients LOVE to assume that they're your only client, and that you've got nothing better to do during the day but twiddle your thumbs and be entirely subservient to them at all times.
Here's a summary from all the clients in your posts: "Design is easy. Just do it. I need it. Today. And I might not pay you."
Well fuck that. It's not worth it IMO. The work itself is too time-consuming and tedious (if you give a damn about details) and frankly, not worth the stress or money. I'm sick of putting so much effort and enthusiasm into a piece, and then having the client push it aside only to replace it with some fucking abortion of an idea.
And they want instant gratification (reflective of our entire society). There's not even any time left open for concepting or brainstorming anymore. It's purely execution... and then the client wonders why the end product is absolute rubbish. I was given a mere six hours to create a brochure concept and web concept for a national brand, and would have to present it the next day in front of about 12 board members. I bombed. The work was crap. I had no faith in it. I couldn't sell it with a straight face. There was no thought behind it, no foundation. It was execute, execute, execute just to get it done before the next day.
Call me a quitter, but there are better ways to sustain yourself.
- IT'S THE ONLY THING I KNOW HOW TO DO IN LIFE!Continuity
- *weeps quietly*Continuity
- i like this. what do you do know?dijitaq
- So what do you do now? :oattentionspan
- Agree. What you doing now?monoboy
- I've been feeling this of late.webazoot
- hans_glib0
not a client thank god, but a brief...
I NEED A DESIGNER TO DISIGN A LOGO FOR MY COMPANY. THE BACK GROUND SHOULD BE IN MAGENTA BLUE AT SUNSET, THE LETTERS IN WHITE AND THE SUN IN ORANGE.
- fuck... and was it in ALL CAPS like you typed?Amicus
- Meganta Blue? Is that possible? Wouldn't it be purple or pink?VikingKingEleven
- I has questionsVikingKingEleven
- Claymantis0
There is a client at my company that has insisted to make very bad design choices, thus making the site look shitty. But now he has actually learnt illustrator, and is sending me mock ups, in illustrator at 4000 px wide. He's very frustrated about why everything isn't looking perfect. He's such a control freak, a ram rod.
- mydo0
"the logo/design should be both contemporary and timeless. Modern, but classic."
- mg330
Had someone tell me that the whitespace wasn't functional.
- I'm pretty sure this thread is about good clients.monospaced