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The Mitch Hedberg thread 7878 Responses
Last post: 9 months ago | Thread started: May 5, 09, 7:17 p.m.
- BrandNewly
"An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs."


- Dog-earMay 5, 09, 7:22 p.m. – Permalink
- doesnotexist
YES!
I love Mitch


- Dog-earMay 5, 09, 7:25 p.m. – Permalink
- forcetwelve
"those beavers have some kick-ass houses. forget lake-side, that shit is lake-on!"


- Dog-earMay 5, 09, 7:46 p.m. – Permalink
- forcetwelve
possibly the funniest stand up ever


- Dog-earMay 5, 09, 7:52 p.m. – Permalink
- forcetwelve
I saw this commercial on late night TV, it was for this thing you attach to a garden hose, it was like "You can water your hard-to-reach plants with this product." Who the fuck would make their plants hard to reach? That seems so very mean. "I know you need water, but I'm gonna make you hard to reach! I will throw water at you. Hopefully they will invent a product before you shrivel and die!

- Dog-earMay 5, 09, 7:53 p.m. – Permalink
- blackfrancis
My house is infested by Koala Bears. It's the cutest infestation ever.


- Dog-earMay 5, 09, 8:14 p.m. – Permalink
- dijitaq
Some people think I'm high on stage; I would never get high before a show, because, when I'm high, I don't wanna stand in front of a bunch of people I don't know. That does not sound comfortable. Like, when you're high, and a joke doesn't work, it's extra scary. It's like,"Whoa, what the hell happened there? I am retreating within myself. Why have all these people gathered? And why am I elevated? Why am I not facing the same way as everyone else? And what is this electric stick in my hand?"


- Dog-earMay 5, 09, 8:14 p.m. – Permalink


