eyelinernotes.com - critique
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- freakpelican
I posted my wifes new blog that she is writing with two friends in the 'blog' thread here. I let her see the comments on the post and now she is really wondering about some of the comments.
One was "wheres the blog" another was "its a bit confusing"
Anything else that might steer her into a better direction would be awesome. She just launched it and is eager for feedback and i am just really stoked to see what she is writing online.
Any and all critique is highly appreciated.
- detritus0
Also: *squint*
- noneck0
Your column width is really wide. I'd add a gutter in on one side to shorten the line length by at least 35% (on wide displays).
Maybe bump up the font size too. 18px would be better.
- freakpelican0
^ The only advice i had for her was up the font. The gutter would help.
- I read at least 2 euphemisms in there. Utter filth.Fax_Benson
- shellie0
Tbh, from the url i thought this would be about make up. So i was a bit disappointed to find poetry with eyeliner echoing in my head. Is it only eyeliner bc they are girls? Hmmm. I don't really feel any context anywhere about what the content will be (im browsing on my phone) to get me to dig deeper. I know this crit isn't based in design, but that was my first thought.
Second, if there was tighter branding and context, you should immediately add a merch store to this, and set a goal to make 20 peices of something inspired by each posting. It might slow down the writing process, but there is 3 of them so they can divide and concur.
For instance with this one: https://www.eyelinernotes.com/au…
A stormy colored stone wraped in dark wire and set as a pendant is something relatively cheap, diy worthy and inspired by the story and could be placed as a purcaseable item at the end of the post. All the girls can hawk their wares through the same store. It also gives Instagram and twitter repost value and opens up to other markets that might connect with their content and writing via their merch (like etsy) if they are interested in building an audience outside of the people they know.
I would display each girls section as their own collection (of stories) with the merch item forward first, and the writing as the story behind it. I feel like i would have clicked on more of their stuff and read the stories if i felt like i was browsing a one of a kind botique shop where everything had a really interesting story and there was one 1-20 peices max, so it felt exclusive.
I also wish there was at least one picture half way through to help paint a picture. With the peice i linked above, i would have liked to see 2 or 3 pictures of ffffound quality. I don't know these girls. They're not my friends, so they would have lost me pretty quickly without supporting visuals. If i did know them, i would have given more effort. So, I'm just trying to give some perspective from freshie eyes.
- Seriously, thank you! I am trying to be hands off unless asked for help since this is 'her thing'freakpelican
- Its a very personal project for them but she really wanted critiques outside of friends/family/fbook...freakpelican
- VectorMasked0
yep. column width is a bit too much.
The other thing that makes the text hard to read and follow is the very tight line-height. Ascenders and descenders are almost touching each other.
And... I don't think the serif is working too well. That particular serif is not getting along with the handwritten font...