Stress when semi-asleep
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- mg330
Interesting topic. I get some of these symptoms every now and then too if I wake up before actually going to sleep. I tend to focus on loss of people as well. My wife and I were on vacation out in California last week, and I got food poisoning or a stomach virus on Friday night, August 30th. We went to a wedding the next day, and I could only make it through the wedding. Had to go back to the hotel and go to sleep, and she went to the reception and had dinner.
The hotel was only a 3 minute drive down a hill from the country club. When she got back later in the evening, she told me that as she was driving back, someone in the opposite lane coming towards her was going really fast and crossing the center line. She had to swerve really quickly or would have been hit head on. Said it kind of freaked her out. Maybe they swerved too, but it could have been bad. She could have been killed less than a mile from where I was, and where she was headed to.
So the thing that's really eating me up is that "what if there had been a wreck?" feeling. Wondering how police or a hospital would have connected the dots and gotten in touch with me at the hotel. How I would have dealt with it. What if she'd been killed. How would all of that work, getting back to Chicago. In the days since when I'm just going about my normal day I am finding myself really thinking often "how would I go on? When would I resume a normal life again?"
And the worst is, those thoughts aren't new and don't always happen when I'm falling asleep. I can be going about a totally normal day, hear some somber or sad song and just feel like that's the only thought on my mind. Have to take deep breaths sometimes and just realize I'm here, she's here, all is good for now.
We've had a thread before talking about losing people. I lost my only sister 18 years ago in a tragic car wreck. First person I ever lost in my life. So knowing what that is like, how intense loss can be, it really comes to the forefront when I have those thoughts about my wife. I hate the way I can focus for what feels like hours on that very singular thought of what would I do if I never saw her again. My mind just runs around itself trying to imagine life without her, trying to imagine the emotions, and it's really hard to shut off. I've never really told her about that, and sometimes I feel like eventually I want to talk to a therapist about it or something because I keep it locked inside my mind so much.
That's why for me, when I have those similar thoughts like if I'm a good person, if I'm good to her, etc. I have that "what if something happens and I don't even have the chance to try to be a good person anymore?" feelings, I hope that I'm reflecting on life and actually doing things that will let me know I'm always 100% a good man, a good husband, that I'm caring, loving, a protector, and everything she needs me to be.
I totally feel you on this GreatGlorpo. It's a really tough thing to fight through worry and anxiety. I've never had a panic attack (except for when we're in the suburbs near Ikea, LOL) but I wonder if what you have at night isn't sort of a mild one.
I try to be grateful for every day we have, and always say a prayer, even if subconsciously, that we see each other again at the end of the day.
- tank020
I have it to. When a wake up in the couch, or midnight or in the morning. When we sleep our seratonine levels in our brains are mixed up. They are in a way the conductors of impulses. So an imbalance creates kind of a short circuit. People with panic attacks have this in a much worse way....
- pressplay0
I’ve been suffering from mild anxiety attacks myself in the last time which were the result of – I think – a breakup I was going through. Work related stress might have added to it. It’s getting better now. Main thing I found out was: anxiety kicks in where there is a hole in your life you feel you cannot fill. A loved one that’s gone, something broken you can’t fix, a desire / wish unfulfilled. Something you feel you can only passively observe, but cannot deal with actively, being locked up. Best you can do is to be progressive, take action, or at least trick your mind into that you’re being active. Do sports, start meditating, start / learn something new – it hasn’t to be a drastic change, small things count. Just feel active instead of passive again.
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