Intellectual Jokes
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- BuddhaHat
Taken from this thread:
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddi…
I haven't had a laugh like this in a while... post your favourites or your own.
Here's mine:
A man is on his first visit to Boston, and he wants to try some of that delicious New England seafood that he'd long heard about. So he gets into a cab, and asks the driver, "Can you take me to where I can get scrod?" The driver replies, "I've heard that question a thousand times, but never in the pluperfect subjunctive."
- monospaced0
Haha, I ran into this earlier, good stuff for sure. But seriously:
- _niko0
I remember this from Frasier:
Audrey: So, Dr Crane, I don't see why I should fix the dumb dress when my sister can't even fit into it anymore.
Frasier: Audrey, you borrowed the dress, you tore it. As an old Greek haberdasher once said: "Euripedes, Eumenides."
- _niko0
A rather hopeless graduate student is taking a qualifying exam, and despite much help from the examiners is not doing well.
Examiner: OK -- can you give an example of a compact group? Student: (unsure) The real numbers? (A very long pause follows.) Examiner: With what topology?
- see_thru0
Did I say garage? I meant to say gar-bage.
Judy Geller - Friends
- yurimon0
what do you call Austrians walking in NYC? PEDaustrians
- boobs0
Doctor told me I have hypochondria. I said, "Oh, Jesus! Not that too!"
- _niko0
Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French cafe, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress, "I'd like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream." The waitress replies, "I'm sorry, monsieur, but we're out of cream. How about with no milk?"
- I posted this on my FB an someone reminded me of an old joke. From the time I didn't know who Sartre was.oey
- pango0
Heard about that new band called 1023 MB? They haven't had any gigs yet.
- pango0
How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
a fish.
- cannonball19780
Knock knock.
Who's there
To.
To who?
(ehem) To "whom".
- teh0
A programmer’s wife asks him to pick up a loaf of bread and, if they have eggs, get a dozen. The programmer comes home with a dozen loaves of bread.
- omg0
- HijoDMaite0
Q: What do you call a dislexic agnostic insomniac?
A: Somebody who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
- MrT0
There are three kinds of people in the world. Those that can count, and those that can't.
- Morning_star0
Why can't you trust an atom?
They make up everything.