VEET on the Balls!!!
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- 17 Responses
- Horp0
I find the best thing to do when clippering your bawsac is to stretch that fucker right down so the skin is incredibly taught, then put your foot on a chair, then stand on then end of your bag, then go up and down it like you're painting timber.
- If you like skiffle or rockabilly, you can usually strum a few fat basslines afterwards.Horp
- cruddlebub0
"Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don't have to. Heed my lesson. DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS.
(I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)"
- cruddlebub0
"I like the clean shaven look down in my gentleman's log cabin, so for the past few years I've used a shaver. However the hair keeps growing back which means every 6 months I have to spend 20 minutes trimming again. As I'm sure you've realise this is valuable time I cannot waste. So I decided to get to the root of the problem and purchased this product.
Probably the first thing you will notice after using this product is the pain. Although as a man I lack the required experience, I'm going to estimate that using this product is at least eleven times more painful than childbirth.
Imagine sticking a rusty razor blade into your favourite eye, before tying your hands behind your back. Then imagine that you use the entrenched razor blade to slice open a raw onion. All the while being butt naked. This product is slightly more painful than that.However if we ignore the blinding, crippling and debilitating pain I should point out that this product is remarkably effective. Before, all manner of organisms great and small lived down there, now nothing can grow; not even on a cellular level. Sadly this includes my genitalia; I've spent the last four hours staring fixedly at Carol Vorderman's arse, all to no avail. My tinkywinkleton hasn't even so much as perked up, so if my review seems a bit harsh, it's only because I wanted children.
All in all an effective and reasonably priced product - 3 Stars."
- utopian0
"I like the clean shaven look down in my gentleman's log cabin"
LMAO
- Horp0
I do wish someone would invent something though. I clipper mine and there's no terror on earth quite like getting your scrote jammed up between the clipper's teeth.
HOOOOAAAALLLLLYYYYYMAFACKER
- Oh boy, I remember the first time I did that. The last time too, as it happens.
Never Forget.detritus - I'm hoping that you can cast your mind back to my recent QBN Mugs pic and imagine me shaving my balls.detritus
- You filthy whore, you.
Stop it.detritus - Lol detritusHombre_Lobo
- hahahahahHorp
- it's funny because it's truejfletcher
- been therewhereRI
- Oh boy, I remember the first time I did that. The last time too, as it happens.
- detritus0
I watched some thing on Bravo TV years back where some naturist club in Amsterdam flambéd their balls with neat alcohol.
Impressive, but a little *too* close.
- Hombre_Lobo0
I'm surprised to see so many regular qbners overlook this timeline!
But it is probably one of the funniest things online.
"The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony" hahah
- RIZ0
oh shit I'm laughing so hard right now!
- Frosty_spl0
Icy Hot on the balls feels cool and refreshing
- MrT0
"I now have a clackerbag that looks like a junkies elbow"
- cruddlebub0
I have used veet for men on my back and it caused a nasty burn at the top of my shoulder, to think of this pain anywhere near my love stick is gag inducing! These guys are insane!
I shave my man parts and have for over a decade, knicking the ballsack with the razor is incredibly painfull and produces a fantastically worrying amount of claret! So much so I actually thought one was going to fall out!
- tOki0
- either way I'm not brave enough to test this theorytOki
- hahaha, fuck that!cruddlebub
- cruddlebub0
Possessing as I do a genital cluster that bears an uncanny resemblance (and indeed aroma) to Chewbacca's armpit, I decided to purchase this product. Upon applying the creme to my tassel and conkers, I was taken aback by a sudden and disturbing gasping noise, followed by a sound that I can only describe as the horrific howlings from Satan's own Hell Hound, Cerberus. As I whirled around to view the source of the noise, I perchanced to glance in the bathroom mirror, and, seeing my own mouth stretched agape in a terrible rictus of agony, I deduced the sound was coming from me.
My eyes widening with mounting horror, I surveyed the damage occurring to my sausage and beans with no small sense of panic. My pubes were actually bubbling and fizzing, in much the same way they might if one of James Cameron's Aliens had just sprayed their acid blood upon them. There were no swear words strong enough to adequately describe the agony, and in my delirium I began making them up. I don't recall exactly what I screamed, but I'm fairly sure the entirely-new expletive "funting" was employed.
With as much haste as I could muster I hobbled into the shower and applied cooling water to the conflagration in my crotch, which only served to spread the napalm to my perineum. I am not a church-going man but as I felt the flaming horror trickle across that tender inch of no-man's land, I confess that I prayed aloud to Jesus and his host of angels that the advancing agony would not stray into my buttonhole. However, my prayers went unheeded, and as I felt the liquid inferno sizzle its way into my most private of eyes, I lost consciousness, but not before grabbing the shower curtain and collapsing, in a disturbing echo of that famous scene from Hitchcock's "Psycho". Although believe me, being hacked to death by Norman Bates in a dress would have been a walk in the park compared to the searing agony I endured that fateful day.
GOLD!
- WeLoveNoise0
someone sent me this a while back - couldn't stop laughing
- attentionspan0
Hello. My name is Robert Johnson and I am addicted to Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme...
Now I write this from my cell at the Lazy Island sanatorium for the mentally unfit. I hope you heed this warning and stay away from this vile and wretched product. Even though it has ruined my life, I am giving it 5 STARS because it took me to heights and places Men only dream of. For better or for worse it is permanently in my heart. Literally. It has somehow permeated my heart muscle and now sits soothingly at the base of my ventricles.
Buy it. But remember that the price you pay will be your soul.