Dealing with a "Dwight"
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- raybolger2
I'm sure some of you have a co-worker like Dwight from The Office...or Garreth for you Brits. Who wield what little power they have to be an annoying stitch in your side every day. I'm totally fed up with constant emails ALL CAPS in bright red "there's a missing piece of equipment you will be terminated!" or "I will call the tow trucks on you if you have an improper badge". I really want to f**k with her but I don't want to get shit canned. I've done some minor stuff to mess with her, but now I'm looking for some more diabolical shit (not just switching her g and h keys on the keyboard teehee)
Thanks in advance.
- WrappedInBooks0
If she has a black cushioned chair, spill some black ink on it. Or smudge some anchovy paste under her desk.
- scarabin0
this is always fun
- something new I learned today!
NICE.transmission - nice!raybolger2
- this!discoduro
- something new I learned today!
- mg330
- Sinister child laughing
Eerie whispering of 'hey, can you hear me?' bwahahahaha!raybolger2 - that shit really could make you go crazy if it doesn't sound like a tinny little speaker.johnny_wobble
- i did this to my girl's dad and he was convinced the FBI was tapping himscarabin
- I just bought two. I'll let you know
raybolger2
- Sinister child laughing
- mg330
Whole ocean trout duct taped beneath the desk. Go for at least a 12 pounder.
- boobs0
Put one drop of this on her chair every day.
- boobs0
OK. I'll try again:
- will this agitate as well as smell? she's already a smelly ass, but what the hell
raybolger2
- will this agitate as well as smell? she's already a smelly ass, but what the hell
- HijoDMaite0
put a hardboiled egg in the very back of one of her drawers and wait a month
- mg330
There was an episode of Cheers where Norm saved up urine for weeks and then poured it into all the phone books he had hollowed out. I'm not saying to do the urine part, but hollow out a book of hers and fill it with snakes.
- chris_himself0
Take the bottom of her chair (wheel harness) off to expose the center tube. Place a couple of pieces of frozen shrimp inside.
- mg330
Another cool prank:
Get a friend to impersonate a cop and come to your office and arrest you. As they're leading you out just keep saying "she said she was 18!" and "there's no way that girl was 15" and even sob just a little bit.
- raybolger20
thanks gang! knew you could come through.
I've already recruited a partner to help me.
- to be the cop? awesome!mg33
- ha- yes! I mean no.raybolger2
- I wishraybolger2
- chalk0
I'm just throwing this out there, but...
Couldn't you just go to the higher-ups and tell them that you don't appreciate being talked down to a regular basis?
Someone who says, "I will call the tow trucks on you if you have an improper badge," or "you will be terminated" in bright red all caps, is probably over-stepping their fucking power boundaries. If I was the boss and some nitwit employee was sending around emails like that, I would fire them without question. The workplace should be a a neutral zone where people are in accord, not where it's a psychological stand-off every day.
- bah. go with the pranks.johnny_wobble
- She's in real good with the boss unfortunately :(raybolger2
- chalk0
^ Of course, the only problem with this approach is that if your bosses don't think it's a big deal, then you're painting a big target on your ass if you end up resorting to childish pranks instead.
- VikingKingEleven0
that does not sound like a dwight to me.
- CALLES0
give her a copy of the office..
- JackRyan0
Some opaque tape on the underside of her optical mouse.
- Centigrade0
Talk about a new type of advanced computer virus within earshot of this person - perhaps mention it can be spread via any ordinary email not just spam.
Following day.
Screen Grab of the desktop. Remove all existing icons from the desktop. Set screengrab as wallpaper. Sit back and enjoy the panic. Bonus - you'll drive IT mad too.- we did that in the 90's to the account staff at one agency...vaxorcist