I'm Comic Sans
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- set
Listen up. I know the shit you’ve been saying behind my back. You think I’m stupid. You think I’m immature. You think I’m a malformed, pathetic excuse for a font. Well think again, nerdhole, because I’m Comic Sans, and I’m the best thing to happen to typography since Johannes fucking Gutenberg.
You don’t like that your coworker used me on that note about stealing her yogurt from the break room fridge? You don’t like that I’m all over your sister-in-law’s blog? You don’t like that I’m on the sign for that new Thai place? You think I’m pedestrian and tacky? Guess the fuck what, Picasso. We don’t all have seventy-three weights of stick-up-my-ass Helvetica sitting on our seventeen-inch MacBook Pros. Sorry the entire world can’t all be done in stark Eurotrash Swiss type. Sorry some people like to have fun. Sorry I’m standing in the way of your minimalist Bauhaus-esque fascist snoozefest. Maybe sometime you should take off your black turtleneck, stop compulsively adjusting your Tumblr theme, and lighten the fuck up for once.
People love me. Why? Because I’m fun. I’m the life of the party. I bring levity to any situation. Need to soften the blow of a harsh message about restroom etiquette? SLAM. There I am. Need to spice up the directions to your graduation party? WHAM. There again. Need to convey your fun-loving, approachable nature on your business’ website? SMACK. Like daffodils in motherfucking spring.
When people need to kick back, have fun, and party, I will be there, unlike your pathetic fonts. While Gotham is at the science fair, I’m banging the prom queen behind the woodshop. While Avenir is practicing the clarinet, I’m shredding “Reign In Blood” on my double-necked Stratocaster. While Univers is refilling his allergy prescriptions, I’m racing my tricked-out, nitrous-laden Honda Civic against Tokyo gangsters who’ll kill me if I don’t cross the finish line first. I am a sans serif Superman and my only kryptonite is pretentious buzzkills like you.
It doesn’t even matter what you think. You know why, jagoff? Cause I’m famous. I am on every major operating system since Microsoft fucking Bob. I’m in your signs. I’m in your browsers. I’m in your instant messengers. I’m not just a font. I am a force of motherfucking nature and I will not rest until every uptight armchair typographer cock-hat like you is surrounded by my lovable, comic-book inspired, sans-serif badassery.
Enough of this bullshit. I’m gonna go get hammered with Papyrus.
- VikingKingEleven0
like it or not, you will be in the typography hall of fame
- dskz0
You have a fan in Dan Gilbert.
- pango0
No.
fuck you comic san!
get off my construction sign!
get off my caution sign!
get off my Email!
get off my restaraunt menu!
- liveforever0
.............. and leave my sister-in-law alone!
- RGB0
For a long time now, I've considered making a Comic Sans Pro. Full of ligatures, alternates and swashes. Unfortunately, I never get the time for it.
- dibec0
- +1dibec
- + 2dibec
- sorry. my multiple personality actually counts as two.dibec
- no "s" on the counts. just count.dibec
- i am going home.dibec
- you should.dibec
- well. i think we need to.dibec
- asshole.dibec
- i will have fun banging your wife.dibec
- umm.dibec
- that is right. wuss.dibec
- do you want to talk about it?dibec
- talk about what dip shit?dibec
- well. the energy you are sending seems like you are angry. I want you to know I am here for you.dibec
- you are dead to me.dibec
- i am going to give you space. i am here for you.dibec
- go fuck yourself.dibec
- bye.dibec
- this is a much better post than the first one :PMrT
- ;)dibec
- dirtydesign0
ur style is wack, even for a kindgarden handout
- set0
I really should have looked at the text before I posted this thread, a few line breaks wouldn't have gone a miss.
- stoplying0
YO BITCH, THIS IS CHALKBOARD AND I'M COMING FOR YO WACK ASS!!!!
- vaxorcist0
You are the Justin Beiber of fonts.....
- ridg00260
I have one client who uses it almost exclusively in customer-facing content. It drives me crazy. I see it everywhere, now, not that I didnt before, but now I just notice it more. My parents Christmas letter was in Comic sans for fucks sake.
signed,
defeated