Clients from HELL!!!
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- noneck0
Last week I met with a client about their website. The meeting was to go over the copy they had prepared. The client hands me a sheet with a couple of paragraphs of copy for the home page, no problem.
I ask her for the content for the products section. She pulls out a sheaf of paper, printouts of a competitor's website. She goes through each page and crosses out the photos and pullquotes, "we don't need those pictures, but you can just use this text."
"Ummmm, you know we can't use that, right? You don't own the rights to that copy, your competitor does. It even says so at the bottom of the page."
She stares at me blankly for (honestly) 10 seconds before saying, "But it doesn't mention their company name. Just use it anyways."
Great, now I'm a plagiarist.
- Projectile0
gem!!
“I have a design already made, or at least I know exactly what I want so it should be easy for you if you’re a good designer. Also, I would built this site myself but I don’t have time. It is a very straight forward build that I could do myself so I expect to not have to pay for this.”
- FredMcWoozy0
When I get a business card this size (not 3.5 x 2 inches), I think that that person is a fag.
- Didsomething0
- awesome. this weeks 7 legged spiderflashbender
- ahahah the designs look pretty good!Ravdyk
- harlequino0
Very funny, but c'mon, some of this has to be made up:
"Can you send that logo over in electron form, at the highest granularity you have"
- theredmasque0
Client's Secretary: "can you put our website on a disc for us so that my boss can look at it when he goes on a business trip next week?"
Me: "Can he not look at it on the web?"
Secretary: "You can see our website all over the world?"
(To be fair, this particular client, and his secretary, were both old, and obviously not up to date with technology).
They still made me put the website on a disc anyway (even though they had access to the site files themselves), and then got annoyed because the files were not arranged by Page 1, page 2 etc. I tried to explain that the files on the disc are alphabetized by the name of the file and that there is no such thing as "page 1" or "page 2" on a website (other than the index page being page 1). Boss finally got on the phone with me to take me to task for not doing what they wanted.
Same guy wanted to know why they had to pay me "when the kids can do it for free".
The scary thing is this guy was a doctor. He also had photos of some of his patients on the site (like nude medical photos of cancer patients and their CT Scans) that I am pretty sure the people or their families would NOT want online. Granted these were older photos (mostly from the 70s or older) but still!
The website was atrocious as he didn't want to pay to have it redesigned (I think it was originally designed in word and converted to html) so all I ended up doing for him was adding copy changes and other smaller changes. At this point though, I was glad as I really didn't want to be associated with this guy in case he got sued by former patients....
- You should have let them know that the Internet is on computers now.ETM
- _salisae_0
depressing
- mattiaBK0
Thanks for sharing! LOL
- MSL0
"Can you fax it to me in color please?"
I've actually had that same request...
- Stugoo0
'Make it more good.'
gold
- felizfeliz0
awesome:
really amazing.
- It's the Ignore button that makes it "real."harlequino
- i can use this.sea_sea
- hahahahaahahh brill!HelloRandy
- Horp0
Hahaha, there's some great stuff there.
I once did the artwork for a single that was only being put out on CD. This was for a major label not a pokey little set up. The band decided they wanted photographs of their moms on the back cover. I asked them to send me photos that were approved for use. I got tiny little 20k jpegs cropped out of family snaps done in the 80's on terrible cameras.
I laid out the back as best I could and sent it to the band for comments. The band's product manager at the record label called up and said the band were not happy and I had to make the pictures bigger. I explained that most of the files were only 20k squares of blurry crap but she said "Just make them bigger".
That was bad enough, but I made them bigger and sent it back.
"Make them bigger still, and draw in some of the missing detail in photoshop so they look like the actual people" I hadn't ever seen the actual people so that was hard, but I did what I could.
This went on and on. Always I had to make them bigger until in the end these five blurry women's faces occupied every single micron of the back cover and were all cut out horribly so that they were as big as possible.
I then got a call telling me they had to be "at least 200% bigger than the last visual".
I asked how, considering that a CD single is a fixed size.
"I'M NOT THE DESIGNER HERE" she shouted down the phone "IF I HAVE TO COME THERE AND DO IT FOR YOU I'M NOT GOING TO PAY YOU FOR IT".
So I told her that I would gladly waive my fee if she could just draw me some crude outlines on the template I attached, showing me where to put each mom and exactly how big.
I then got a sheepish email asking me to proceed without the moms on the back. The thing that PISSES me off about this is that even though its the people being dumb, they never quite realise it and remember the experience as though you were obstructive and difficult to work with.
The same band also sacked me without telling me and commissioned someone else to do their album artwork because they expected a full colour photographic sleeve art and I had "just drawn a really horrible stick man in black and white surrounded by some scribbles and little signs everywhere saying 'trees', 'shrubs', 'skyscrapers' THIS IS NOT WHAT WE WANTED AT ALL"... that was my rough doodle to show them the composition for approval.
Fortunately the person they hired to replace me managed to explain that to them and sent them back to me. Fucking morans.
- Oh fuck that's long. Sorry, I got caught up in old grievances that I should let go of.Horp
- lol 'morans'Stugoo
- wow dude you musta been in fecking tears!!!Projectile
- lol @ rough doodle to show them the composition for approval.rkrd
- i feel your pain, man.geoman2k
- I once made an album cover for a radio station comp while in college. lost my artwork TWICE and then used the doodle/rough sketch as the final album artworktheredmasque
- doodle / rough sketch as final artwork because too sheepish to tell me they lost the cover againtheredmasque
- So imagine my surprise when I saw the final product. loltheredmasque
- Horp's story is hilarious / frightening though!theredmasque
- babaganush0
This is awesome-
1. Prospective client: $400 for a logo?! Why are you so expensive? My nephew has Photoshop—I can just get him to do it.
2. Me: Does your nephew have Microsoft Word?
3. Prospective client: Yes.
4. Me: Then have him write you a novel while he’s at it.- BWAHAHAHAHAwhereRI
- boom boom powBattleAxe
- oh, i am going to use that one. that's gold.cramdesign
- chossy0
All of these made my pals sweat and made me nervous as hell, reason being is because they remind me of a small website I did for a client and there were fucking loads of emails between us where he kept going back and forth, and sending the site off to people he knew designers and ad execs before it went live to get feedback, I ended up doing so many changes it almost ruined me.
- jerseyred0
About a year ago I had a frequent client, who I made website PSDs for, ask me to make a design and take the same look and feel and create a second site with a different logo and a different nav. 1 day into it it was clear that they wanted 2 different websites and were trying to dupe me into doing it change by change. I declined, we parted ways, no hard feelings.
I get an email from him asking for another project today and after I respond asking if this email was a mistake he responded no and at the end of the email added this little golden quote -
"Should your conscience drive you towards more favorable pricing, then I can live with that :)"
- chossy0
I agree horp, it's infuriating because you know that when you put the phone down they are immediatly thinking you are a fucking know it all wise ass and you wanted to make a fool of them.
being nice doesn't work because they take advantage of that and be aggressive to try to get what they want
being aggressive back doesn't work clearly
trying to explain it makes you look like you are mocking them
- it comes down to just letting your self get shit on and taking it like a champ with a smile on your face. so long as they pay, whatever.geoman2k
- felizfeliz0
http://www.digitalsurvivors.com/…
"If Architects Had to Work Like Web Designers
Unknown
January 10, 2002
Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you should use your discretion. My house should have somewhere between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so that I can arbitrarily pick one.Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough insulation in them).
As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminum, vinyl, or composite siding. (If you choose not to specify aluminum, be prepared to explain your decision in detail.)
Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials are used in construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the most up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that kitchen should be designed to accommodate, among other things, my 1952 Gibson refrigerator.
To insure that you are building the correct house for our entire family, make certain that you contact each of our children, and also our in-laws. My mother-in-law will have very strong feelings about how the house should be designed, since she visits us at least once a year.
Make sure that you weigh all of these options carefully and come to the right decision. I, however, retain the right to overrule any choices that you make.
Please don't bother me with small details right now. Your job is to develop the overall plans for the house: Get the big picture. At this time, for example, it is not appropriate to be choosing the color of the carpet. However, keep in mind that my wife likes blue.
Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build the house itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and specifications. Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect the house to be under roof within 48 hours.
While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind that sooner or later I will have to sell it to someone else. It therefore should have appeal to a wide variety of potential buyers.
Please make sure before you finalize the plans that there is a consensus of the population in my area that they like the features this house has. I advise you to run up and look at my neighbor's house that he constructed last year. We like it a great deal. It has many features that we would also like in our new home, particularly the 75-foot swimming pool. With careful engineering, I believe that you can design this into our new house without impacting the final cost.
Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at this time to do the real design, since they will be used only for construction bids. Be advised, however, that you will be held accountable for any increase of construction costs as a result of later design changes.
You must be thrilled to be working on as an interesting project as this! To be able to use the latest techniques and materials and to be given such freedom in your designs is something that can't happen very often.
Contact me as soon as possible with your complete ideas and plans.
PS: My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the instructions I've given you in this letter. As architect, it is your responsibility to resolve these differences. I have tried in the past and have been unable to accomplish this. If you can't handle this responsibility, I will have to find another architect.
PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer. Please advise me as soon as possible if this is the case."
- spraycan0
“We want to know who opens the emailer and when they do we want to hit them with another email straight away, striking while the iron is hot. And for those who don’t open it we’ll send them an email too asking why they didn’t open it.”
- fucking hell, stupid fuckers!!spraycan
- they must have seen Glenngary Glen Ross or some hard-pressure sales film like it....vaxorcist
- yes and this kind of demand is so real you know.spraycan
- and if they don't open the one asking why the didn't open the other one, bam! we call them.ETM
- and if they don't answer the phone, bam! Send over hired goons.ETM