Clients from HELL!!!
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- noneck0
Last week I met with a client about their website. The meeting was to go over the copy they had prepared. The client hands me a sheet with a couple of paragraphs of copy for the home page, no problem.
I ask her for the content for the products section. She pulls out a sheaf of paper, printouts of a competitor's website. She goes through each page and crosses out the photos and pullquotes, "we don't need those pictures, but you can just use this text."
"Ummmm, you know we can't use that, right? You don't own the rights to that copy, your competitor does. It even says so at the bottom of the page."
She stares at me blankly for (honestly) 10 seconds before saying, "But it doesn't mention their company name. Just use it anyways."
Great, now I'm a plagiarist.
- must_dash0
Client: “We ran the ad you designed in a magazine and no one bought our product, so we would like a refund on what we paid you and we will be taking our business elsewhere.”
Us: “Maybe the ad didn’t work because you are selling hunting and fishing supplies and you put the ad in a women’s home magazine.”
Client: “That’s because we heard that women make most purchasing decisions in the home. So clearly the problem was with your ad. I’ll be expecting a check.”
- iheartfun0
Client: “Make the numbers in our phone number capitalized to stand out more”
Me: “That’s not possible...”
Client: “Just hold the SHIFT key and type our phone number!”
- isakosmo0
i've just been making a free site for a photographer friend. a flash site with 100 of his photos, simple but time consuming.
a couple of days ago he comes back going, 'can you add under construction' at the top? then you and my other designer friend can sit together and design a proper site and get it up live in may'
i kid you not.
- vitamins0
Client: “You’ll never make any money if you’re always charging for every little thing that you do!”
- spraycan0
“We want to know who opens the emailer and when they do we want to hit them with another email straight away, striking while the iron is hot. And for those who don’t open it we’ll send them an email too asking why they didn’t open it.”
- fucking hell, stupid fuckers!!spraycan
- they must have seen Glenngary Glen Ross or some hard-pressure sales film like it....vaxorcist
- yes and this kind of demand is so real you know.spraycan
- and if they don't open the one asking why the didn't open the other one, bam! we call them.ETM
- and if they don't answer the phone, bam! Send over hired goons.ETM
- pizzafire0
haha ... this one's a Client from "Heaven"
http://clientsfromhell.net/post/…Client: ”Obviously we need the site to be deeply spiritual. The use of a cross is obvious and although perhaps over-used we would like to go with that... Also perhaps some Saints, figurines... You get the idea?”
Designer: ”Do you have any specific Saint’s in mind?”
Client: ”No, just run with it... after all we all worship the same god right?”
Designer: ”Actually no, I am atheist. Is this a problem?”
Client: ”Oh, erm, you´re one of THEM are you? Hmm that is a problem... people who abandon the word of god are in league with the Devil, and if you designed our site... well, it would make it sinful, a place of deception... No... erm, maybe you would like to discuss your hatred of God? Then perhaps I could convince you of the true path.”
Designer: ”I cannot hate something which does not exist.”
Client: ”I see. No, we need a designer who is...you know, not in league with the devil.”
- MrT0
Just had a Christmas card request.
"You should be able to do something quick, just put the XXX logo and all the product logos on the front and since we're a software company, make it interactive. We would like to mail them on Tuesday next week."
- I can fulfill this request.
collaborate? subcontract?version3 - OK do the design and get it printed and I'll give you proceeds of any profits it might generate?MrT
- Interactive, eh?ETM
- glowy rolloversscarabin
- They want a card, you know, made of card, to put a stamp on and mail. Interactive? 3 working days? Yeah baby.MrT
- I can fulfill this request.
- gramme0
Wow.
- Thesocialgospel0
I just got this email:
"Oh, Dan, something happy and upbeat! This is rather “severe.” To be honest, it looks like a camp for black people! Can you come up with something else?"
- can we see the comp that sparked this response?version3
- camp for black people?CALLES
- haha just photoshop a white face or 2 on. Like that windows ad.LOLProjectile
- _salisae_0
depressing
- jerseyred0
About a year ago I had a frequent client, who I made website PSDs for, ask me to make a design and take the same look and feel and create a second site with a different logo and a different nav. 1 day into it it was clear that they wanted 2 different websites and were trying to dupe me into doing it change by change. I declined, we parted ways, no hard feelings.
I get an email from him asking for another project today and after I respond asking if this email was a mistake he responded no and at the end of the email added this little golden quote -
"Should your conscience drive you towards more favorable pricing, then I can live with that :)"
- theredmasque0
Client's Secretary: "can you put our website on a disc for us so that my boss can look at it when he goes on a business trip next week?"
Me: "Can he not look at it on the web?"
Secretary: "You can see our website all over the world?"
(To be fair, this particular client, and his secretary, were both old, and obviously not up to date with technology).
They still made me put the website on a disc anyway (even though they had access to the site files themselves), and then got annoyed because the files were not arranged by Page 1, page 2 etc. I tried to explain that the files on the disc are alphabetized by the name of the file and that there is no such thing as "page 1" or "page 2" on a website (other than the index page being page 1). Boss finally got on the phone with me to take me to task for not doing what they wanted.
Same guy wanted to know why they had to pay me "when the kids can do it for free".
The scary thing is this guy was a doctor. He also had photos of some of his patients on the site (like nude medical photos of cancer patients and their CT Scans) that I am pretty sure the people or their families would NOT want online. Granted these were older photos (mostly from the 70s or older) but still!
The website was atrocious as he didn't want to pay to have it redesigned (I think it was originally designed in word and converted to html) so all I ended up doing for him was adding copy changes and other smaller changes. At this point though, I was glad as I really didn't want to be associated with this guy in case he got sued by former patients....
- You should have let them know that the Internet is on computers now.ETM
- meffid0
Not the worst one I've had:
- Zenith_Kudos0
All of them.