You designers SUCK at business!
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- 69 Responses
- nadanada0
i've written two complete business plans, with around $250,000 worth of investors.
and i've been complimented on their completeness and how well the proformas work.
so FUCK YOU.
- la dee da, you want a cookie and a pat on the head?********
- la dee da, you want a cookie and a pat on the head?
- Mimio0
I'm waiting for the part where Flatgraph tells us the recipe for the secret sauce and divulges the eleven herbs and spices. Deliver us from bondage!
- i'm waiting for him to start threads about his boat and mansionlocustsloth
- Jnr_Madison0
I have venture capital coming out my ass.
- shitehawke0
I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddam common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I'll be watching you.
- No you did-ent!Mimio
- if you are referring to what i assume I you are, then oh yes I did baby!shitehawke
- Astoundingly informative
Flatgraph - you and who's army?shitehawke
- ********0
Is this anti-advertising?
---
“Hey William, we have a product.”Yea, but Flatgraph, we do not know how to sell, market, or basically do anything with what we created.
“But that is the whole point of what we created.”
I know, it is a real ... catch ... it is a catch something. I read that somewhere, I am big business.
“No, no, no. You are not big business, this is what we are trying to tell people!”
How do we tell them?
“Fuck you.”
Fuck me? Fuck you!
“No, no, no. Fuck you is relative, as in fuck them!”
Go on...
“We will crash their internet forums, call them every name in the book.”
Retarded.
“Look let me finish.”
Sorry.
“They are like sheep.”
Baaaah.
“You are actually proving my point here to perfection. What we do is tell them they are horrible at what they do. What they THINK they do. And that they cannot do it well.”
Design? I am not following.
“Of course you do not, which is why you need what we made.”
What did we make?
“Nothing! That is the beauty! We are going to post nonsense, but inflammatory nonsense ... then ... and this is the kicker ... BAM! ... you hit them with our URL.”
Oh ... my ...
“You know it.”
- This sir, is GENOIUS!shitehawke
- The extra 'O' is for 'OMG'shitehawke
- classicversion3
- Brilliant! Bravo!! Four stars!!locustsloth
- ********0
- Flatgraph0
1. I'll never divulge the venerable colonel's secret recipe.
2. $250k in capital is enough to hire a bunch of eastern Europeans to paste a bunch of horrifyingly spaghettized js into a business plan written by my next-door neighbor's plumber's mailman's mistress, colloquially referred to around the neighborhood as 'your mom'
- reaching a bit, no?version3
- you and who's army?shitehawke
- Flatgraph0
3. I can't believe you just wrote all of that!
- You forgot to sign in as Williamsirlocustsloth
- I know you are but what am i?shitehawke
- ********0
4. Should become a Venture Capitalist, because your design skills suck. And how can I collect my money from client, they all suck!
- shitehawke0
I have no idea where this thread is going so from now on I will be resorting to childish name calling. And from now on I mean my first post.
- Scotch_Roman0
What exactly were you hoping to achieve by arriving here to bitch about bitching?
- A neverending loop of whining, evidently.Flatgraph
- take one to know one.shitehawke
- I was asking about what YOU hope to achieve, not other people here.Scotch_Roman
- 7point340
oh, and i suck at design too, so what now, smartass?
- wait...7point34
- dammit.7point34
- childish name calling?shitehawke
- poopy pants.shitehawke
- monospaced0
I won't listen to Flatgraph's bullshit until he shows us his work. It must be amazing since s/he never questions a client, or his/her clients are so amazing they don't warrant complaint. Cough it up, Flatgraph.
- Flatgraph0
No, I've simply learned to negotiate. There are reasons the best are the ones who know how to check their 'artistic ego' at the door. And if you think I'd post my work with could lead back to my employer... on a forum full of anonymous hate-laden cretins, you're gravely mistaken. Besides, pissing contests are for children. I'm venting because you can't stop me. *crotchchop*
- CALLES0
fuck yeah! i dont wanna be the suit... i wanna do little drawing that move the enetire day hang out her and have some cocksucker run the business side... and yeah you better pay me well and make your shit look good
- monospaced0
The best ones are not the ones who "check their 'artistic ego' at the door." That's the most idiotic statement I've seen in this entire thread.
If all designers stopped checking their 'artistic egos' at the door, then there would be less good design in the world. Paul Rand never did it, and neither should we. Show us your work, or fuck off. You are a disgrace to the design community.
- ********0
- ********0
It's hands-off management. Hire good people, clearly define their responsibility, and let them do their own way. They're the ones in the trenches, doing their jobs all day. Treat employees like adults, and they'll act like adults. Treat them like children, and they'll act like children. Instead of management from the top down, it should be management from the bottom up.
- I agree with this - but designers must learn that they aren't the boss but are part of a much, much larger process in which they hold a non-essential (but useful) role.Flatgraph
- Flatgraph0
"Paul Rand never did it, and neither should we."
lol, are you out of your fucking gourd? Paul Rand negotiated deals so large and rife with business strategy he probably could ship you AND your ego straight back to Business Accounting 101 (and Design History 101, as needed.)