Dark Sucker Theory
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- ********
The Dark Sucker Theory
For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light,
but recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't
emit light; they suck dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers.
The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove
that dark has mass and is heavier than light.
First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs
suck dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in.
There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The
larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark.
Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck
dark than the ones in this room.
So with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are
full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot
on a full Dark Sucker.
A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick.
You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing
all the dark that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to
the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black. This is because
it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle. One of the
disadvantages of these primitive Dark Suckers is their limited range.
There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't
handle all the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage
Unit. When the Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied
or replaced before the portable Dark Sucker can operate again.
Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from
the mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating
Dark Sucker. Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel
into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a
great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an operating
candle.
Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below
the surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to
slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and
darker. When you get really deep, you would be in total darkness. This
is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the
lighter light floats at the top. The is why it is called light.
Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were
to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and slowly
opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet.
But since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave
the closet.
Next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it is a Dark Sucker.Timeline me assholes.
- ********0
This thread sucks.
- ********0
Would that make this thread a care-sucker?
- brains0
If I knew it was going to be this sorta thread, i'da gone stick mah dick in the mashed potatoes.
- ********0
I just saw this post - http://www.qbn.com/topics/572446…
And thought to myself 'fuck reading all of that'. And then suddenly was reminded about this dark sucker peice of text that I saw about 3 years ago, so thought i'd post it.
- ********0
So basically I don't expect anyone to read it, although it is amusing.
- ETM0
Whats your theory on cock suckers then?
- They are actually women who emit cocks.********
- repeatedly. In a row.TheBlueOne
- Hadbloc
- lol!janne76
- They are actually women who emit cocks.
- TheBlueOne0
Everytime I think a thread will be about porn, I am sadly, sadly disappointed...
- airey0
i read it. i like it.
- When referring to 'it' are we talking about me or the thread? ; )********
- the thread entry. i don't know you but i'm almost sure i wouldn't like you. i don't like anyone. people suck.airey
- I was referring to yo you referring to me as an 'it' in your 'is design art thread'. But never mind.********
- i know but i didn't want to help you out as i don't like people and leave them hanging when i can.airey
- Yea I don't like people either. No worries.********
- When referring to 'it' are we talking about me or the thread? ; )
- ********0
The Poop Sucker Theory
For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light,
but recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't
emit light; they suck Poop. Thus, we call these bulbs Poop Suckers.
The Poop Sucker Theory and the existence of Poop suckers prove
that Poop has mass and is heavier than light.
First, the basis of the Poop Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs
suck Poop. For example, take the Poop Sucker in the room you are in.
There is much less Poop right next to it than there is elsewhere. The
larger the Poop Sucker, the greater its capacity to suck Poop.
Poop Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck
Poop than the ones in this room.
So with all things, Poop Suckers don't last forever. Once they are
full of Poop, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the Poop spot
on a full Poop Sucker.
A candle is a primitive Poop Sucker. A new candle has a white wick.
You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing
all the Poop that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to
the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black. This is because
it got in the way of the Poop flowing into the candle. One of the
disadvantages of these primitive Poop Suckers is their limited range.
There are also portable Poop Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't
handle all the Poop by themselves and must be aided by a Poop Storage
Unit. When the Poop Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied
or replaced before the portable Poop Sucker can operate again.
Poop has mass. When dark goes into a Poop Sucker, friction from
the mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating
Poop Sucker. Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel
into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a
great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an operating
candle.
Also, Poop is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below
the surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to
slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting Pooper and
Pooper. When you get really deep, you would be in total Poopness. This
is because the heavier Poop sinks to the bottom of the lake and the
lighter light floats at the top. The is why it is called light.
Finally, we must prove that Poop is faster than light. If you were
to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, Poop closet, and slowly
opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet.
But since Poop is so fast, you would not be able to see the Poop leave
the closet.
Next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it is a Poop Sucker.- Wow big props for having no life!********
- but I'm onto something!********
- It's called "find / replace" by no life, you mean, 20 seconds and a decent text editor?brains
- Of course.********
- You guys have no sense of fun********
- Your fun has no sense of guys.********
- Your sense has no guys of fun.********
- CUM BUCKET********
- Wow big props for having no life!
- TheBlueOne0
"dark is heavier than light."
Spoken like a true moron that has never held a bit of the Sun in his hands. Let me tell you, son. The Sun is fucking heavy and dense and hot and full of motherfucking light. Some of my best men have died trying to hold ont that hot heavy Sun stuff. Oh and sure, I hear your objection already,you're going to lay some crap on me about black holes, none more black and them being heavy? Well let me ask you this, hev you been inside a black hole? Have you? I thought not. No one has, no one know what's on the other side of that fucker. It could be brighter than the light shining out of Sister Mary Sunshine's Asshole on Good Friday. You catch my drift? Well, you take your goddamn crackpot theory about dark suckers and crawl back under what ever mumbo jumbo rock you slid out from, because from this vantage point it's all a bunch of general fuckery not worth the spit sheen left on a chewed up piece of 2 cent bubble gum.
- ********0
"Whoooooaaah man... check out that chess board. It's like... *bongrip* ... which squares are the real squares maaaaan? Like is it the black ones and the white ones are negative space? Or is it the white ones and the black ones arent there man..... *bongrip...cough* one day I hope black and white can all like... live together and stuff"
- "But what about the colors and the unicorns and the rainbows man...."TheBlueOne
- Rainbows... whooaaahh. NO way! HAHAHAHAH aRAINBOWS!. *COUGH COUGH* i think i see them********
- *cough* where man? Behind the giant shroom with the snake next to the talking rosebush?TheBlueOne
- party.********
- Wha- snake? Dammit man where is it. WHERE IS IT MAN Im freeeeeakin out maaaan********
- ********0
- airey0
where's ukit? i heard his mum is a dark sucker... i'll be here all night, please, try the shrimp.
- onewhoslaps0
i'm going to start using ST short for Shit Thread
ST
- you come in here offering nothing but negativity.airey
- welcome sir.airey
- you have found home.airey
- touche
onewhoslaps - who the fuck are you********
- janne760
i laughed
