Dark Sucker Theory
Out of context: Reply #9
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- cannonball0
The Poop Sucker Theory
For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light,
but recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't
emit light; they suck Poop. Thus, we call these bulbs Poop Suckers.
The Poop Sucker Theory and the existence of Poop suckers prove
that Poop has mass and is heavier than light.
First, the basis of the Poop Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs
suck Poop. For example, take the Poop Sucker in the room you are in.
There is much less Poop right next to it than there is elsewhere. The
larger the Poop Sucker, the greater its capacity to suck Poop.
Poop Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck
Poop than the ones in this room.
So with all things, Poop Suckers don't last forever. Once they are
full of Poop, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the Poop spot
on a full Poop Sucker.
A candle is a primitive Poop Sucker. A new candle has a white wick.
You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing
all the Poop that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to
the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black. This is because
it got in the way of the Poop flowing into the candle. One of the
disadvantages of these primitive Poop Suckers is their limited range.
There are also portable Poop Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't
handle all the Poop by themselves and must be aided by a Poop Storage
Unit. When the Poop Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied
or replaced before the portable Poop Sucker can operate again.
Poop has mass. When dark goes into a Poop Sucker, friction from
the mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating
Poop Sucker. Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel
into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a
great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an operating
candle.
Also, Poop is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below
the surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to
slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting Pooper and
Pooper. When you get really deep, you would be in total Poopness. This
is because the heavier Poop sinks to the bottom of the lake and the
lighter light floats at the top. The is why it is called light.
Finally, we must prove that Poop is faster than light. If you were
to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, Poop closet, and slowly
opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet.
But since Poop is so fast, you would not be able to see the Poop leave
the closet.
Next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it is a Poop Sucker.- Wow big props for having no life!set
- but I'm onto something!cannonball
- It's called "find / replace" by no life, you mean, 20 seconds and a decent text editor?brains
- Of course.set
- You guys have no sense of funcannonball
- Your fun has no sense of guys.set
- Your sense has no guys of fun.cannonball
- CUM BUCKETset