Sweet jesus
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- moop
I've been sent 'finished copy' for a menu that needs typesetting, I work in-house so I can't walk away from this job, there insisting I design this so they can 'see what it looks like'. This will go on all day and I have alot of work to get on with that I'll have to rush through next week. here's some sample text
Egg, mushrooms, Fries (can you think of a different title) € not yet sure
Please ask our serving staff as to what today’s catch is... or summit like dat! €15.50
Bangers and Mash (as before) I do not like the word creamy! ...personally €9.50
- Jnr_Madison0
Just put 'really moist' after everything.
- ian0
Awesome.
I suggest you also take a picture of all the food and put it beside the description on the menu. Everyone loves looking at menus that show you exactly what you're getting.
Also, if you sing the flash theme tune to yourself while working on it, the day will fly by...
bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bangers... and MASH! AHAH! for every one of us...
- hoopy0
go to the toilet and have a wank... it'll make it all better
- ..over the menu...Jnr_Madison
- "special moop sauce"pascii
- i followed your orders. It was goooood.Haydesign
- Creamy5timuli
- pascii0
send this straight back to the project manager and tell him you can't work with that.
this sounds 100% like the shit i hear from our dear club and bar clients - bunch of idiots who drank their braincells away.... and then they say "can't you just start... because of the design..." aaargh
- Spookytim0
You have to pic a subtly terrible typeface, throw it down very quickly, very badly, but not deliberately and obviously so, then when they mooch and sniff just say its a starting point for them to be looking at while THEY WRITE THE FUCKING GOD-DAMN FICKING MENU BEFORE ASKING YOU TO TYPESET IT FER-FUCKS-SAKE.
- MSL0
Just do all the type in Comic Sans at 18pt and 100% Magenta.
Mind you ... last time I tried that trick - they signed off the design.
- I was going to say... I like the sound of that.
*Reaches for 'Design Notes' pocketbook.Spookytim - I'll let you into all the 'trade-secrets'... if you ever turn up here ;)MSL
- Ah yes, next week. He wants me to bring a portfolio. He knwos I'm a business not a work placement doesn't he?Spookytim
- LOL! I will mail you.MSL
- I was going to say... I like the sound of that.
- harmsie0
Oh thank god, someone else has this problem. Just wait till you make the mistake actually taking the time to design something really good and them to turn round and say, "Oh we forgot, we need to add this as well, oh and this, and I not sure about your design can be in another color, different shape and actually my manager has decided we would prefer if it was all smaller can we do that in the next ten minutes. The Joys of working inhouse...
- Oh, that's been going on for 2 years. I've done this menu many times. One batch never even got distributed, it got forgotten about and left in the boxes
moop
- Oh, that's been going on for 2 years. I've done this menu many times. One batch never even got distributed, it got forgotten about and left in the boxes
- moop0
So I got a corrected copy, here's a sample
Wild Mushroom Tagliatelle (as before see last menu) Salad as with Chicken dish not rocket €12.95WTF?
- "Not rocket"? Fuck that!! EXTRA ROCKET! Especially with mushrooms...TheBlueOne
- neue75_bold0
I take it English is not the first language of the 'copywriter'?
- TheBlueOne0
Send it back and say "Make the portion sizes bigger..."
- creative-0
- Sorry, thought this was about Jesus sweetscreative-
- (if it ever loads)creative-
- Do those exist?harmsie
- FUCKING LOAD, BITCH, LOAD..Jnr_Madison
- ian0
Sweet chilli chicken jesus?
- doctor0
Dear infant baby Jesus...
- moop0
An update
The menu still isn't done, today instead of getting correct copy as I requested I got this email titled 'some changes'.
Starters
1. “Cream of vegetable soup”
2. In the Caesar salad please replace the “and” symbol with the word.
4. Put the (V) after the title of the starter.
Salads
2. One capital is the first word on the title line (except Ceasar)
3. take the capital off Oak]
4. The salads are also served with the bread. Please put this in underneath and take from Smoked salmon one.
Pizza
1. Margarita (spelling) – take the “es” of tomato
2. Make sure the prices are lined up correctly
3. only first word in title to have capital
4. No full stops
MAINS
take out the (as before) and other words from the Wild mushroom tagliatelle.
Balsamic has a small “b”
in the Korma take out the and sign and use the word
Poppadom can have a small P
Only capital P for the salmon escallop
Capital E for East
Take off all full stops
See the 12oz steak for font etc
sautée with no d
small m for mash (bangers and mash)
Korma chicken (take off curry and small c for chicken) also use the word and instead of symbol
Small s for stew
Small E for egg in mixed grill and also small f for fries
Small b for burger
small s for salsa
Small g for grilled and c for chicken (Italian chicken) . small “w” and “b” for “with” and balsamic