Spiritual Guidance
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- gramme0
Did you get ordained online?
;)
- TheBlueOne0
Look, beer ON Doritos has to be a sin in some religion somewhere....
- father i have sinnedCALLES
- Well....go eat two snack size bag of cheetos, drink a red bull and don't do it again...TheBlueOne
- wow! i think i rather go to hell!CALLES
- See, this is tough stuff...TheBlueOne
- ninjasavant0
TBO, we are brothers in kind as I too am ordained with the ULC.
- And how goes your ministry?TheBlueOne
- I always knew I liked the cut of your jib.TheBlueOne
- our mission of spreading the word of moderate hedonism continues unfettered.ninjasavant
- ********0
the ordained minister of ROCK!
- ********0
can you bless my tubes?
- Consider it done.TheBlueOne
- And on a side note, do you know "tubes" are called "valves" in the UK?TheBlueOne
- as in a girl gets her valves tied?ninjasavant
- In Scotland they're called choobs.gramme
- Also, Celtic knotwork.gramme
- jaylarson0
Dear Ti, err, Rev TBO,
My happy-ending-demanding priest says that listening to Slayer will bring about the Lord's wrath. Is this true?- Nothing after "Seasons" i swear.jaylarson
- Why would you listen to anything after "Seasons"?locustsloth
- gramme0
Brian did you get the email I sent about a month ago? Was that you I sent it to? Or did I send it to blaw. I get you two mixed up all the time.
Universal Life...sounds like life insurance.
- no didn't get it..not that I recall...TheBlueOne
- Ah, just checked, I sent it to blaw. My bad.gramme
- what was it? Anything interesting?TheBlueOne
- perhaps. I basically called him out for saying he's a Christian, while holding seriously heretical notions.gramme
- CALLES0
i have multiple impure thought on an hourly basis... now what?
- Enjoy them while you can. They'll probably go away the older you get.TheBlueOne
- robotron3k0
Dear Blue One,
Why the high gas prices?
thanks,
robotron3kps: I don't own a car, I'm just worried.
- That'd be an economic/political question. I am merely addressing spiritual matters in this thread.TheBlueOne
- gramme0
This is fake, right? If you have an MDiv then I'm JesseJensen.
- Well, it IS real as far as the Federal government is concerned...TheBlueOne
- http://en.wikipedia.…TheBlueOne
- manure.gramme
- one man's manure is another man's...um...manure. But hey, makes things grow!TheBlueOne
- Jesse?2cents
- TheBlueOne0
Dear Jaylarson,
In the christian bible I do believe one is asked to "make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation."
Considering I can think of nothing more joyfully noisy than Slayer I'm sure the lord has better things to worry his wrath upon.
rock in peace
- Anything that can disperse hippies is sacred in my book.ninjasavant
- hippies are loved by the universe as well.TheBlueOne
- redant0
can u pray for me Blue? Thanks.
- I can, but I'm guessing you'll only be coming right beck here again.TheBlueOne
- is coming here a sin?redant
- *doesn't take obvious baitgramme
- *thinly disguised snortgramme
- Is coming here a sin? Only if you think it is. And you know the answer to that in your heart.TheBlueOne
- CALLES0
should we be sending you monetary support?
- Nah. Alcohol is fine.TheBlueOne
- sending you alcohol ! now thats crazy talk... i would never be capable of sending my friend awayCALLES
- ..and upon my death just visit my grave, pour out some of that fine Scotch and sing a ditty or two.TheBlueOne
- Calles, this is why you fail.TheBlueOne
- BattleAxe0
explain dinosaurs, and how could there been an earth with no man around?
- You seek not guidance, but facts. I only offer the former.TheBlueOne
- TheBlueOne0
Well kats and kittens the day draws nigh and I must close down the Spiritual Guidance thread for the day. Let's recap. I have told Dr_Rand he could find "peace that passeth all understanding" in the most common place he could look, an answer which will grow deeper upon his reflection of it I am sure. I have told pantone that perhaps his problem is not as deep as he thought it was, Battleaxe posed a deep problem and I hope my answer has set him on a journey to find the answer to it himself, 2cents even found wisdom in my ministrations. Doubting Gramme of course mocks me, but such is his ways. I honor him just the same. And through it all we found the basic joy of being human through humor and communication.
A good day. A good day indeed. Until the 'morrow.
- "Doubting Gramme"
*Snickers.2cents - *removes collarTheBlueOne
- haha
*burns collargramme
- "Doubting Gramme"
- Llyod0
I have a cousin who is a member of that 'church'. He's a successful attorney and he takes it seriously.
- 2cents0
Dear Rev,
Is it bad that I wish evil things for Sparky?
- In a spiritual realm, yes.
I'll re-open the thread tomorrow at noon for questions.TheBlueOne
- In a spiritual realm, yes.
- JesusChrist0
You're a good man, Charlie Brown.
Keep on Rokken like Dokken!
-J to the H.C.
- TheBlueOne0
*The Reverend Is In.
Come, let me be the Mel Gibson to your Britney Spears. Today I will be dispensing Guidance in all matters Soul-like for the next hour or so. Can I get an hallelujah?
- harlequino!
wait, dammit that didn't come out right...7point34
- harlequino!