Funny Story
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- brains
So. This is a good client story.
My business partner and I were in discussion to do some consultation work for a company who is going to release a national product. They were hoping to have us help them develop their branding and marketing plan with their designer. We thought "great, fantastic, consulting is fun."
At this point, we realized their "designer" is actually someone who just got a copy of photoshop, and the only project they've worked on was a set of business cards. (Horrible, at best. Type set in PS, trimming sections out of photos with the magic wand tool. No cohesive placement from one to the other.)
We thought.. "There is no way in hell that these people actually trust someone with this little experience enough to brand a product in which they are taking a second mortgage on their house to fund.." We decided to neglect quoting on consultation, and instead, we quoted on the creative direction and design, and wrote a lengthy precursor to the quote, outlining the reasons that they were totally daft cunts. (In more eloquent ways of course.)
We proceeded to find out that they "like that unnamed 'designer' is still green & wet behind the ears. It's fresh and naive."
Now we cannot wait for the "I told you so" moment. But seriously.. How stupid can you be?
- organic_grid0
I didn't tell you so... but should of...
- grunttt0
sweet jesus. can't wait to see the results (surely you'll post them i hope).
=D
- cannonball0
You should ask to get paid, now that you have consulted them.
- Yea get paid early and get the fuck out, hahah.flavorful
- flavorful0
hahaha, just remember the real math they are working with:
Green + Wet Behind the Ears + Fresh + Naive = Less expensive than you.
- brains0
There are so many other great quotes when we were trying to dissuade the designer. Such things as..
"You know, you can't approach something like this and not have a good grasp on photoshop, illustrator and indesign.."
to which the reply was..
"why do I need those programs when I have photoshop?!"
- harlequino0
This is all going to go soooo well.
- brains0
Basically, we're getting the FUCK out of it, we're going to sit back and watch though. That'll be great.
- Llyod0
I would never hire someone green. especially after thinking back to my days as a youngster.
- OnesandZeros0
they can make for good interns though
- sometimesOnesandZeros
- well... 40% of the timeOnesandZeros
- hrmm... ok.. maybe 0.5% of the timeOnesandZeros
- d_acra0
the story of my life, stubborn clients.
I no longer care when they start with asking for blinking everything and glowing text with emboss.
- cannonball0
Actually, this is a classic case where you could have taken the high road, and probably gotten more out of the relationship. This company might have been looking for someone to tell them that they are at the part in their company's life where design is critical. Maybe they know this, but don't know how to go about getting good design, and made the mistake of hiring a junior designer. A pat on the head and a helping hand might have worked wonders. "Educating" their designer could have been part of their consultation, as you do the rebranding yourselves.
- But there's also the scenario where that design takes, and wanks all over our good ideas.brains
- This isn't even a "junior designer". No training, and no experience at ALL.brains
- Think of it as a hurdle. If you approach it from a benevolent stance, I'm sure their designer would be happy to get some knowlege from you guys. no one was born knowing design. Then voila! You have the lead.cannonball
- Knowledge from a senior designer. then voila! you are in control.cannonball
- brains0
The great thing about it is we have no problem telling clients like this go fuck themselves. It's therapeutic.
- exador10
in a situation like this, you did absolutely the right thing...let the client know that they were going in the wrong direction by letting a kid with no experience (not to mention without the proper toolkit for the job) work on a project like this...
after that, if they still feel they know more about this sort of thing than you do, let them hang themselves....
- mikotondria30
"Well, it's rare when work like this comes along where we can actually get passionate something - see - we actually care about how your company does my partner and I sat down to plan out our time and we both agreed we rather take this on than do that other boring corporate job, cause it makes our job more worthwhile to actually make a difference in people's lives - people like you who've got the vision to go it alone and put their money where their mouth is. We understand why you want to use [rubbish photoshop guy], I've see his work and I think he's got great potential and a real eye for the job and we'd like (if it's not poaching him!), to use him where we think his skills will be most effective in your overall strategy. You've only got one shot at this, and we all need to be bringing our whole skill set to the table, at once - we can do the mundane stuff and we can let him concentrate on the very specific areas I will outline when we meet.".
Ignore anything he produces or doctor it out of all recognition.
Take the money and then take some more when the company nearly fails but they get a last minute backer.- say all of that shirtless via webcam.grunttt
- grunttt, how did you know what I wanted?Jaline
- err..nevermind.Jaline
- I don't have a webcam.
Or a shirt.mikotondria3 - I've said too much.Jaline
- Hey, miko, is your site just a splash page? I'm trying to get past the text.Jaline
- haha, er yeh, it kinda is. Just testimonials and contact stuff.
we're THAT different.mikotondria3 - alright, cool :)Jaline
- Llyod0
work on retainer
- brains0
That's not a bad point miko.. Although, it could make for sooooo many headaches. It's been such a task so far, and I can only imagine the "we know best, we're the client / creative direction" hassle that we'll get with this piece o' shite.
- it's all Sales. FInd out why they don't want to 'buy' your idea, squash their objections. Close. Count cash.mikotondria3
- Mmm. monies.brains
- TheBlueOne0
Or you should of taken the really low road and just written "What are you a bunch of daft cunts? When you don't want to waste our or anyone else's time with the amateur hour 'designer' do get back in touch. Until then, good luck. All the best."
- They might appreciate you 'keepin it real'...good approach.
Do it.mikotondria3 - Daft Cunt is the new Preferred Client.mikotondria3
- Yeah, I've been using that one for a while.brains
- They might appreciate you 'keepin it real'...good approach.
- citizen_h0
@Brains
Blimey - Im actually in the same position as you. Potential client wants to launch a national product aswell, but what design/branding etc they currently have is straight from the tutorials of "way of the photoshop version 3" (although no sign of the lense flare...yet). Meeting them in the next week or so to discuss further.